Finding My Fundamental Attachments after Being Harassed

(Minghui.org) In mid-May this year, Domestic Security officers knocked on my door, claiming they were there for a follow-up COVID test. When I let them in, they arrested me and searched my home. I was released on bail that night. The superficial reason was that I put up a sticker “Celebrating May 13 World Falun Dafa Day” on the evening of May 12, which had been seen on a surveillance camera.

Because I had been studying the Fa a great deal and reflecting on myself, as well as regular hints from Master, I understood that I was being harassed because my cultivation wasn’t up to par. So I negated this persecution with my righteous thoughts and tried to correct myself based on the Fa, resulting in the elevation of both my xinxing and enlightenment quality.

I am relatively introverted. Apart from studying the Fa in small groups, I usually only communicated with individual practitioners. I thought that I was good at Fa-study, that I had learned a lot, and that my understandings were good. Even though I had been harassed like that, I still studied the Fa, sent righteous thoughts, and looked inward by myself at home. I did not tell any fellow practitioners about this.

Two months later, a Domestic Security Division officer called and told me to come to their office, saying that the newly-appointed officers had to follow procedure and make another report. I went without thinking twice. It was a low-key conversation, and the officer didn’t say anything against Dafa. After I read the transcript, I signed and fingerprinted it.

After I met up with fellow practitioners, I thought that it might be because we had sent righteous thoughts that the officer was so kind. One said, “You signed the transcript—that was wrong. You have to make a solemn statement to negate it.” At the time, I couldn’t accept it. I felt that I had done a good job, and I even had a few arguments with my fellow practitioners.

I went home and read Essentials for Further Advancement. I then realized that I had, indeed, made a mistake when I signed the document. However, I thought that my only mistake was in cooperating with the authorities’ demands. I still didn’t see the root cause of the problem. But I published my solemn statement anyway.

A few days later, a procuratorate official called someone in my family to say they would talk to me in two days. This news was like a blow to my head, and it cleared my mind. Only then did I really realize that I had made a big mistake in my cultivation, and I decided to share fully with fellow practitioners.

A kind fellow practitioner and I exchanged views on the Fa. We talked a lot about our understandings of the Fa, the responsibilities of Dafa disciples during the Fa-rectification period, how to completely deny all arrangements by the old forces, and so on. Fellow practitioners encouraged me to send forth righteous thoughts more and to quickly return to righteousness in Dafa.

I knew that I had to calm down and study the Fa a lot. Only Master and Dafa could guide me out of this ordeal. I also asked Master to enlighten me about what exactly was wrong on my part.

I read in the Fa:

“The Fa can break all attachments; the Fa can destroy all evil; the Fa can shatter all lies; and the Fa can strengthen righteous thoughts.” (“Drive Out Interference,” The Essentials of Diligent Progress II)

As I kept studying the Fa for a long time, my thinking became clearer, my righteous thoughts became stronger, and my mind became calmer. During my constant Fa study, I found a lot of attachments in myself. However, I felt that I still hadn’t found the fundamental problem leading to my cooperating with the authorities at that time.

One day, while I was wondering again what my fundamental problem was, the words “digging roots” suddenly appeared in my mind. I immediately took out Master’s scripture “Digging Out the Roots.”

Master said:

“What I would like to tell you is not whether this incident itself was right or wrong. Instead, I want to point out that this event has exposed some people. They still have not fundamentally changed their human notions, and they still perceive problems with the human mentality wherein human beings protect human beings.” (“Digging Out the Roots,” Essentials for Further Advancement)

Suddenly, I understood the Fa and I was very excited. I got up, bowed to Master, and thanked him for his enlightenment. I had finally found the source of the problem! I dissected the whole process to see where I’d gone wrong. From the very beginning, my starting point was wrong. I didn’t start from the basic point of stopping evil people from doing evil things to Dafa and saving sentient beings.

Because I thought with human notions, I used human reasoning to try to counteract the evil with my own evil side. In the end, my demonic nature exploded. I couldn’t remember Master and Dafa at all. Then I signed and fingerprinted the document, barely paying attention to it. My other attachments were fear of suffering and losing comfort.

This was a painful misstep, and it made me look inward further. I recalled some trivial things, through which I also found my attachments. For example, I always held onto a lot of used stuff. A family member told me many times to throw it all away, but I didn’t. I also found my attachments to resentment, accusing others and complaining, saving face, and self-interest.

Another practitioner heard a rumor that my case had been sent to court, and she and other practitioners came to tell me. When I heard her news, I felt very calm and told her that it was okay, so they could feel at ease. Watching them leave, I was moved to tears.

I am grateful to Master for using this ordeal to give me a chance to thoroughly cleanse what was impure in my body and mind. I felt reborn and that I have resumed my journey of cultivation. I will continue to do the three things well as a Dafa disciple in this last period of assisting Master in Fa-rectification.