(Minghui.org) I recently had an uncomfortable feeling in my throat. It was fine when I didn't speak, but it was unpleasant when I spoke. It affected my Fa-study as I was unable to read aloud when reciting the Fa. I thought it was just karma elimination, and I would be fine in a few days. However, it lingered on for a while, which reminded me that I should look inward and find my attachments.
I wondered why I couldn't speak and thought about what I had said recently that was not in line with the Fa. Thus, I asked Master to help me find the root cause.
Master saw my sincere wish, and one day when sending forth righteous thoughts a thought came to me that sometimes I talked about something I shouldn't. This may create karma. My throat was fine after I discovered my problem.
I seldom talked about sensitive issues concerning the company I worked for – even to family members. I maintained a professional attitude towards my work. I also rarely talked about things other practitioners should not know about when working on Dafa projects.
I believed that I had done well in this aspect. However, while talking with a practitioner about other practitioners we both knew, I felt like I was sharing cultivation experiences, but ended up talking about my disagreements with the way some practitioners’ do things. Sometimes, I went on and on excitedly. I also mostly accepted what others told me about other practitioners. All of this was already not in line with the Fa's requirements.
Master said,
“... there are conflicts among one another, such as “you’re good, but he isn’t good,” or “your cultivation is good, but his isn’t.” These are conflicts themselves. Let us talk about something that is common, such as “I want to do this or that,” or “this matter should now be done this way or that way.” Perhaps it will unintentionally hurt someone. Because interpersonal conflicts are all very complicated, one may unintentionally produce karma.” (Lecture Eight, Zhuan Falun)
I never thought it to be that serious. A practitioner did something that I thought was not good, but I shouldn't gossip about it. If I casually talked with others about that practitioner, it would not only affect that person but may also affect the operation of the Dafa project we were working on.
When I formed an opinion from incomplete information or due to misunderstanding, then the situation could become even worse. In addition, my understandings could be wrong. If I say something that I should not say as a practitioner, it would cause me to accumulate karma.
Master said,
“Human thinking has a weakness, and you have discovered this over the years while clarifying the facts. Namely, that the first idea that’s accepted tends to stick. (Laughs) Once a person accepts a certain idea, he will then evaluate whatever comes afterward in light of it.” (“Fa Teaching Given at the NTDTV Meeting”, Collected Fa Teachings, Vol. IX)
If someone judged a person based on “bad things” that person did, I would then form an opinion about that person based on the information I was given.
No one is perfect and practitioners have attachments to get rid of during cultivation. If we were told about a practitioner's shortcomings, we may always have that in our mind and ignore their merits and good things.
When I dug deeper, I also found that the practitioners I gossiped about were usually the ones I looked down on, disliked or did not agree with. I had the desire for others to agree with me to enforce the idea that I was right. Also when practitioners did something that I thought was unreasonable, I had the urge to express my feelings toward them. It actually exacerbated my attachments of looking down on others, jealousy, and showing off.
Thank you Master for letting me see my attachments. I have always been reluctant to admit it before and subconsciously hid them deeply in my heart. I finally had the opportunity to look at these hidden places, expose my attachments and purify myself.
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Category: Improving Oneself