Breaking Free of My Internet Addiction and Resuming Cultivation

(Minghui.org) Master has told us,

“Perhaps the hardships you endured in the first part of your life have been for the sake of obtaining this Fa. That’s the part you know about. There are still things you don’t know about; perhaps you have been suffering and undergoing hardships in your previous lives or for an even longer period of time in order to obtain this Fa.” (“Teaching the Fa at the International Experience-Sharing Conference in Beijing,” Collected Fa Teachings, Vol. I)

When I read Master’s teaching above, tears come to my eyes. It’s indeed so hard to obtain the Fa. I must treasure my predestined relationship with the Fa and become a genuine cultivator. I don’t want to take for granted Master’s compassion or the suffering and hardships I went through in my previous lives. I’m determined to cultivate myself diligently and follow Master to return to my true origin.

I was born in a family of Falun Dafa practitioners in the 1990s. Both my parents are devoted Falun Dafa practitioners. They listened to the audio recordings of Master’s teachings and did the exercises with me when I was young. I also read the main book of Falun Dafa, Zhuan Falun, with them many times, as well as most of Master’s teachings in various places. I believed in Falun Dafa. The principles of Dafa were rooted in my young heart, but I didn’t take the initiative to cultivate myself.

My early life was smooth under Master’s care. I was admitted to a good high school with a score just one point above the cutoff. Though I normally ranked 20^th or below in my middle-school class, my score on the admission exam jumped to 12^th place. I couldn’t have made it without Master’s help.

My high school was a boarding school. After leaving my parents’ supervision and guidance, I became lost in the big dye vat of everyday people’s influences. I gradually became addicted to novels on the Internet and read them during my lunchtime, at bedtime, after class, and even secretively during class. I only spent four hours each day studying and five hours sleeping. The rest of my time was spent reading novels on the Internet.

I felt that the person who did the reading wasn’t me, but instead a demon with my appearance. The demon left me no choice but to continue reading. All of my parents’ advice, rules, and scolding, and my teachers’ criticism, had failed. I knew I was wrong and wanted to quit. However, scenes from the novels surfaced in my my mind whenever I had free time. Even my dreams were related to the novels I had read. When I tried to quit, the demon tempted me to resume reading novels only a couple of days later.

Master has told us in his teachings,

“Some people say that recreational drug use is no big deal and that it seems harmless. And sure, people feel pretty good when they try it. What if they do it again? There’s no apparent problem. How about one more time? Then their self-control starts to erode. But why is that? When that substance is inhaled, inside of your body it forms a very thin and light version of you. One hit is all it takes, since it’s highly poisonous. And with the second hit, that version of you that was thin and light grows a bit denser. And it will continue to get denser with each subsequent hit, growing stronger and sturdier. It will have the full structure of your body as well as thinking, and be an entirely drug-induced and demonic version of you. Of course, it may not do anything other than crave drugs. It can’t bear to be without them. That’s because it is now alive. So what happens, then? As you might imagine, it will become progressively lighter if you stop using drugs, as a result of your body’s metabolic processes, until eventually it dies.” (“Fa Teaching at the 2019 New York Fa Conference,” Team Yellow Translation)

I spent my three years of high school muddleheaded and even became addicted to watching pornography on the Internet. My college admissions exam was a disaster. My score was only one point above the minimum requirement for the retake tutoring class. I spent the entire year after high school in the tutoring class and eventually studied hard during the last three months. I occasionally studied Zhuan Falun with my parents. My retake score was barely one point above the cutoff for ordinary universities in my province. I was admitted to a college. It made me feel that Master was taking care of me all of the time, though I had let him down. My normal practice scores were a lot lower. I couldn’t have made that score without Master’s blessing.

My college was far from my home. Without my parents’ supervision and fellow practitioners around, I drifted away from Falun Dafa again. Most of my time was spent on online games and novels. I rarely attended classes. During my worst time, I was so addicted to video games that I wouldn’t stop playing them to answer my parents’ calls. My parents thought I had gone missing and almost called the police.

I worked in another city after graduation and deviated from Dafa further. I indulged myself in games, movies, and other forms of entertainment. I frequently stayed up as late as 3 a.m. My lifestyle wasn’t normal for any human being.

Master has taught us,

“A person is like a container, and he is whatever he contains. All of what a person sees with the eyes and hears with the ears are: violence, lust, power struggles in literary works, struggles for profit in the practical world, money worship, other manifestations of demon-nature, and so on. With his head filled with these, this kind of person is truly a bad person, no matter what he appears to be. A person’s behavior is dictated by his thoughts. With a mind full of such things, what’s a person able to do? It is only because everyone’s mind is more or less contaminated to some extent that people cannot detect the problem that has surfaced. Incorrect social trends that are reflected in every aspect of society are imperceptibly changing people, poisoning mankind, and creating a large number of what people call ‘anti-tradition,’ ‘anti-upright,’ and ‘anti-moral’ human beings with demon-nature. This is what’s truly worrisome! Even though society’s economy has made progress, it will be ruined in these people’s hands since they do not have human ways of thinking.” (“Melt Into the Fa,” Essentials for Further Advancement)

My entire brain contained degenerated material during those years under the demonic influence of the Internet. In December 2020, I became sick. My arms and legs became stiff and twitched one night. The next day, my back was painful. I thought I had had a stroke because of the chilly room I stayed in. I hadn’t turned on the heat because I wanted to save money. My room was between 10 and 16 degrees Celsius (50 to 60 degrees Fahrenheit).

I thought I would be fine if I turned the heat on, but my symptoms didn’t go away. They worsened a few days later. After having a nightmare, my whole body twitched. I found my tongue bruised and swollen the next morning, and my pillowcase was covered in blood. I had trouble talking. I realized that my condition was serious, so I requested sick leave and went home so that my parents could take care of me. The terrible symptoms continued to happen every few days. I realized that I had epilepsy.

My parents suggested that I genuinely cultivate myself according to the principles of Falun Dafa, but I wasn’t determined. Though I read the Fa occasionally, I continued to play video games, read novels, and watch pornography when my parents weren’t around. I rarely did any of the Falun Dafa exercises. I returned to work a month later, though my health hadn’t improved much.

I went to a hospital for a detailed examination on March 11 this year and was stunned by the result. The doctors found a malignant tumor in my brain. My doctor estimated I would live only 18 to 23 months and warned me that I would suffer dementia, immobility, unclear speech, and other symptoms.

I felt it was the end of the world, but then I remembered what I had read in the Falun Dafa flyers. Many people started practicing Falun Dafa after they were diagnosed with terminal diseases. Though medical treatment couldn’t help them, their diseases disappeared after they established strong faith in Falun Dafa and Master. I grew up in a family of Falun Dafa practitioners, and I did believe in Dafa from the bottom of my heart. I believed that Master would take care of me if I became a genuine Falun Dafa practitioner.

March 19 was a pivotal day in my life. I confessed all of my wrongdoings to my parents, including what I had read in the novels, the games I had played, and the pornography I had watched on the Internet, so that the demons would be completely exposed and I could draw a clear line from my past. I was determined to become a genuine cultivator.

I was gradually able to concentrate better when I watched Master’s lectures, read his teachings, and did the exercises. I felt encouraged and enlightened by Master when I did the exercises and sent forth righteous thoughts. My illnesses symptoms faded. Touched by Master’s compassion, I couldn’t help but cry on my knees in front of Master’s portrait.

Thinking about my past, I had missed so many opportunities to cultivate myself. I should have treasured these opportunities, but I didn’t until I reached a dead end. I am fortunate to have started my cultivation at the last minute. I sincerely hope the young people who know Falun Dafa is great but are distracted by worldly influences (including novels, games, soap operas, anime, and pornography) will hurry up and start cultivating themselves diligently.

It’s time to become genuine Falun Dafa disciples and catch up with the progress of Fa-rectification. Don’t wait for a life-and-death wake-up call like I did. Cultivation won’t make you lose anything. You will gain physical and spiritual freedom instead, as well as all of the benefits of cultivation in Falun Dafa.

Thank you, Master, for not giving up on me!

Thank you, my parents and fellow practitioners, for all of your encouragement and help!