Falun Dafa Saved Me from Depression—My Life Is Filled with Sunshine
(Minghui.org) Time flies. I was 30 in the blink of an eye. I’m grateful beyond measure to Master Li Hongzhi for protecting me and guiding me back to cultivation after I went astray and for lifting me out of severe depression.
I first started to practice Falun Dafa in 1997 when I was nine years old. Jiang Zemin’s regime started to persecute Falun Dafa and its practitioners in July 1999. My family and I gradually stopped practicing it. I was at a high school far away and didn’t know any practitioners. But in my heart I still knew that Master and Falun Dafa were great.
During the time I left Dafa, I studied hard, competed for high scores, and was homesick. I was anxious and depressed. I missed the days when my mom read the Fa aloud to me.
My major was music. I became a postgraduate in 2011. One of my classmates helped me return to Dafa cultivation. I still clearly remember how I felt when I returned to Dafa. I was so excited and happy.
Because I had relied on my family to cultivate when I was young, I didn’t know how to cultivate after I returned to Dafa. I had many human attachments. In the several years afterwards, I didn’t cultivate diligently and fell into severe depression, hitting rock bottom twice.
Saved from Severe Depression
In the summer of 2015, I dated a boy who was not a practitioner. Because I didn’t cultivate solidly, I made many mistakes and fell into severe depression. One day when I was doing the second exercise, my arms were so heavy that I could hardly raise them up. I realized that I hadn’t done the exercises and studied the Fa with a focused mind for a long time. I felt lost and pessimistic. I was not able to do the exercises. How could I continue with my cultivation?
Though I failed to do the exercises that day, Master encouraged me by letting me see tiny Udumbara flowers on the grapes I bought. The grapes had been washed but the Udumbara flowers were still there. It was remarkable. I knew Master was encouraging me not to give up hope. I put the grape with the Udumbara flowers in a small box and kept it. The grape dried up and didn't spoil. The white Undumbara flowers blossom on it to this day.
Later on Master arranged for several practitioners to share an apartment with me. They helped me greatly in my daily life and cultivation. When I was in pain and wanted to give up cultivation, only one thought kept me from giving up, which was that I couldn’t tarnish Dafa’s reputation. I broke up with my boyfriend. For the first time, I emerged from the swamp of depression.
But soon after, a second bout of depression overcame me. Because I didn’t cultivate myself solidly, I came down with the symptoms of hyperthyroidism. I knew there was something I owed and must pay back. I'd encountered this tribulation because I hadn't cultivated well. Master had never given up on me, arranged other practitioners to accompany me, and lifted me up in cultivation.
One elderly practitioner looked very young and kind. She heard from another practitioner that I had depression and was on medication. She was worried and came to see me. She studied the Fa with me and helped me a lot. She and other practitioners came to study the Fa with me every day. We shared experiences and insights.
Soon my mind was opened up. I thought of the hints Master gave me before I returned to Dafa. I saw Master in my dream. Master had blue curly hair, and wore a yellow monk’s robe. He stood on a lotus terrace in the air and looked at me with compassion. The sky was full of spinning Falun and 卍 symbols. The bright halo around Master, the spinning Falun and 卍 symbols lit up the whole sky.
I remembered how diligent I was at the beginning of my cultivation. Whether I was in class or on the bus, I always talked to people about Falun Dafa. I helped my relatives return to Dafa. I had good dreams when I cultivated well.
My mind and my righteous thoughts became stronger and stronger. My body was no longer swollen. I became slim and attractive. The practitioners were happy to see my changes.
I stopped taking the medications, but the doctor’s warning appeared in my mind. I knew it was my thought karma. I sent out a strong righteous thought from the bottom of my heart: “All the depressing, negative, and passive substances and beings have nothing to do with me. I am a Dafa disciple and will not be restrained by everyday people’s principles.” For the first time in two years, I negated the interference of thought karma with determination and power.
In the following days when I studied the Fa, I felt every sentence go directly into my heart. Master started to purify my body. I had the symptoms of vomiting, diarrhea, and dizziness. I didn’t dare to drink water. Although I felt uncomfortable, my heart was light. I continued studying the Fa with other practitioners.
“When you feel very uncomfortable, it indicates that things will turn around after reaching the extreme point. Your whole body will be purified and it must be completely purified. The cause of your illness has been removed, and what remains is only this bit of black qi that will come out on its own to let you suffer some and have some pain. It is forbidden for you not to suffer even a little bit.” (Lecture Two, Zhuan Falun)
I knew Master was encouraging me and told me not to worry. Master was purifying my body. After three days, I stopped vomiting and the diarrhea disappeared.
Walking Out of Detention with Righteous Thoughts
A practitioner I’ll refer to as Helen invited me to her hometown in late September 2017. We bought train tickets on September 29. On the train I was studying the Fa. A guard walked by shouting my name. I said, “That's me.” He asked me to bring all my things and follow him. We stopped at a guard room. He opened my bag and took my ID card, a USB, a memory card with exercise music, and my electronic book.
Then he took me to a car in the back and pulled the curtain. An official was sitting inside. He looked to be in his 40s. He said that I was very young and asked when I started to practice. I told him I'd started when I was nine but that I'd stopped when I went away to school in another city after the persecution started.
I talked to him calmly and told him how I returned to Dafa and how Dafa helped me get rid of my severe depression. I said, “If Falun Dafa hadn’t saved me, I don’t know where I would be now. I might be not in this world, and would not have had this opportunity to talk to you.”
He said to the guard, “Please call them and tell them we didn’t find anything. Return this lady's electronic book.” The guard made the call immediately.
He learned that I was a post-graduate at a music school and had done well in my profession and business. He looked like he admired me. I could tell from his words he thought well of practitioners.
After a while a man and a woman came in and sat down near us. They said that they were classmates and had just graduated from college. They didn’t know what to do next and wanted to talk to me. We chatted a bit. The man asked what he should believe. I said, “Follow the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance.” The official asked me if the organ harvesting actually happened. I told him the facts and he understood.
It was about 6 p.m. and the train was nearly at our stop. I asked for my ID card, USB, and memory card. The guard just told me to follow the two plainclothes policemen when I got off. I told Helen to go home by herself.
It was dark. They searched me when we got to their place. A young policeman opened my bag and found some banknotes with Dafa messages printed on them. He asked me where I got them. I said I'd collected them and told him that I practiced Falun Dafa. He looked as if he'd been struck by lightning. He stood there and didn’t know how to deal with me.
Then he accused me of spreading Falun Dafa on the train and said that they had witnesses and testimonies. So they had planted those two young people on the train. He told me to cooperate. I told him that I would not because I was not a criminal and didn’t do anything wrong.
I was locked up in a small room at night. I couldn’t sleep. I checked my every thought to see if I had attachments. On the train when the official was kind to me and told the guard to return my electronic book, I was thankful to him and had a sort of sentimentality involved. So I sent forth righteous thoughts to clear the bad substance of emotion.
I also found that I was resentful. I complained in my heart that I would not have run into this situation if Helen didn’t keep inviting me to her hometown. There was the substance of complaint in my subconscious and I got rid of it immediately. Whatever I had to come across, it would happen anyway. I shouldn’t complain about this or that. I was upset about the two young men and the woman and the official on the train. They had looked kind and understanding, but they actually framed me. I saw my heart of resentment and I immediately rectified my thoughts. Then my compassion emerged and the hatred left my heart.
I asked myself what was the hardest for me to let go of. A prosperous business and lots of money no longer interested me because my business was very good and I had a lot of students at that time. The only thing I couldn’t let go of was my sentimentality for my father. I asked myself if I was able to let it go. Then I told myself firmly, “Yes, I could!” So I decisively let go of this attachment.
The whole night I looked within and kept reciting the Fa. I felt at peace. Though I was locked up, I felt free and optimistic. I didn’t feel depressed.
At noon the next day, an elderly policeman said that they would test my blood. That put me on an alert. I remembered that an article on the Minghui website said that practitioners had their blood tested for organ harvesting. I asked, “Why a blood test? I won’t do it.” The policeman said, “You must. Everyone has to!” He warned me not to tell anyone about it after my release. The doctor at the police hospital forcibly took my blood and did a blood test. When the result came bsck, the policeman told me that I had to be detained for 15 days. I believed that Master would arrange my path.
The policeman asked me if I wanted to notify any family member of my detention. I said I did not. They drove me to the detention center. There was a big hole in the road halfway there. The car stopped. The elderly policeman said that was strange because he traveled on this road recently. So we had to take a detour. When we arrived at the detention center, he gave a note to the policeman inside who was on the phone. I stood at the gate and saw the iron door inside. I didn’t have any fear.
The elderly policeman’s mobile rang and he went out to answer it. A thought came into my mind: I would be set free and be safe. When he came back, he went to the policeman on the phone and took back the note. I was waiting outside the gate and clarified the truth to the young policeman. He was quite understanding and said that he would come and pick me up in 15 days and gave me his mobile number.
The elderly policeman came out and said that he'd been instructed to take me back. He said that I should thank him because he intentionally took the wrong route and delayed things. Otherwise, I would have been detained if I had been handed over to the detention center. I knew in my heart that Master protected me.
“When disciples have ample righteous thoughtsMaster has the power to turn back the tide”(“The Master-Disciple Bond,” Hong Yin, Volume II)
As a Dafa disciple, I completely believed it. I personally experienced it and witnessed the power of Falun Dafa.
I saw Helen and learned that she had told my mother and other practitioners about me. They sent forth righteous thoughts for me.
Blessings of Falun Dafa
I moved to a different city and started a new life. My cultivation state became better and better. I had more and more students. Thanks to Master’s arrangement, I bought an apartment without any hassle. I saw the apartment for sale by chance and immediately knew that Master arranged it for me because the location, style, and condition were all most suitable for me.
The principal of the art school where I once worked visited me and asked me to accept a position at his school. He gave me a pay rise and asked me to teach theory for an elite class and also teach classes in professional skills. He said, “Normally we would not invite someone with so many students to teach at our school. But I believe in you and appreciate your ability.” I was the only teacher who taught both theoretical and professional skills and was the most highly paid.
At the same time the department director at the university where I had studied approached me and wanted me to teach at the university. He told me just to bring my qualifications and he would have me sign the contract directly. I didn’t need to go through interviews or a political background check. Being hired by a university is usually complicated because it involves qualifications, power, connections, and money. I, however, became a teacher at the best university in my province without having to go through all that.
Superficially it was because I was an excellent student and the director trusted me and recommended me. Actually, I'd rarely contacted him since I graduated. I knew it was all arranged by Master.
When I stood on the podium of the university for the first time after I recovered from depression, I was calm and spoke with ease. Falun Dafa opened up my wisdom. I was asked to teach two more classes the next year. So I taught five or six hundred students in a week.
Many students and teachers were amazed at my workload. Still, I was energetic. When I had depression, I felt tired and miserable after I taught just one class. I got hoarse if I talked more. I don’t feel tired now, even after I teach so many classes. Many students appreciate it when I refer to Falun Dafa principles as they relate to different issues.
Thank you, Master, for blessing me all the way. I am really blessed for being a Falun Dafa practitioner. I didn’t intend to make a lot of money or didn't pay attention to connections. I've just followed the course of nature and try to stay peaceful, calm, kind, and self-disciplined.
I have had ups and downs on my cultivation path. My heart is always filled with sunshine because of my faith. Whenever I think of Master, tears well up in my eyes. I would like to say “Thank you, Master, for your protection! I would like to pay my highest respect to you!”