Looking Within and Doing Steadfast Cultivation

(Minghui.org) I was about to start middle school last year. Given that I had lots of school work, I neglected to study the Fa, nor did the exercises. I looked within and realized that my main focus was on my school work rather than on the Fa. I even used the excuse of having to study to put off my cultivation. Is this putting ordinary human matters before Dafa?

I realized that I was unable to eliminate many instances of interference and this directly caused unproductive Fa study sessions. It would sometimes take me almost an hour to memorize one or two paragraphs of the Fa. This was because my mind was not pure, and I always had stray thoughts in my mind. I wondered what my family members were doing, or what I should do after studying the Fa. I might have been attracted to something that caught my eye. I know that cultivation is beyond that of everyday person and I need to treat cultivation seriously. I cannot let other matters get in the way nor should I carry any pursuits and attachments. Whenever I took cultivation seriously, my Fa study session would be very productive, and I’d be able to memorize many paragraphs of the Fa in about an hour.

There was a lot of interference when I was doing remote learning. I developed an attachment to electronic devices since we had to use the computer for my classes. I also started to slack off and got lazy since there were no teachers to supervise me. 

Originally, I thought that I would have more time to study the Fa and do the exercises since we were not going to school. However, I realized this was not the case. All my time was used to do my homework and attend online classes. I felt that I was busy all the time, although nothing was really accomplished. 

I looked inward and realized that all my time was wasted by doing ordinary things and being interfered with by my attachment of being lazy, and I was unable to put my cultivation as my main priority. Therefore, whenever I would slack off, I would tell myself that cultivation is something extraordinary, and I should not let my laziness prevail and hinder my cultivation. 

I did not do anything other than attending virtual classes on my computer. Sometimes when I felt the temptation to go play video games, I would tell myself that I am a cultivator, and needed to align myself with the universe’s characteristics. I looked deeper within, and found that my addiction to video games was dominating me. This is an attachment I needed to relinquish. I was able to distinguish what’s more important, get rid of this interference, do the exercises and study the Fa. 

I used to fight with my brother over trivial matters in the past. My brother always gave in to me. Although it seemed that I’ve won the fight, I’d still feel very upset. It was not until later that I realized that I lost my virtue and gave it to my brother. As a cultivator, one should not fight for personal gain and profit. I felt very remorseful for what I’d done and since then, I would always think first of others’ needs, and eliminate my attachment to profit and gain. After doing that my heart felt more at ease, and I no longer felt being treated unjustly. This is how cultivators should upgrade their xinxing. 

I would not get angry if someone mistreated me, because I knew that I was a cultivator. At times when tribulations occurred without warning, I would still be unable to conduct myself as a true cultivator, and feel very remorseful. I realized that I did not regard myself as a cultivator and failed to abide by the principle of “Forbearance.” This feeling would then drive me to do better the next time.

When I no longer felt things were unfair and look lightly upon personal gain and profit, I would be in a better mood. I would also remain calmer and have a clear mind when accomplishing tasks. I was unable to focus and calm down when I did the exercises in the past. By studying the Fa and looking within, I realized that my mind was always filled with many cases of unfairness. Such thoughts should be eliminated, and my mind should be free of stray thoughts. Gradually, when I take matters lightly, I can remain calm, and not have any stray thoughts when I do the exercises.

Dafa practitioners should do the three things well. I want to do my best to save sentient beings. Cultivators should relinquish attachments. I still have many attachments that have yet to be eliminated. I hope that all practitioners can eliminate interference, cultivate steadfastly, and do well with the three things.