Getting Rid of Fear, Layer by Layer

(Minghui.org) Whether practitioners have fear or not reveals whether they are aligned with the Fa or have too many everyday notions. While getting rid of fear, layer by layer, I experienced that fear is physically real. I also further understood what true cultivation entails.

I retired in 2001 and purchased computers to produce Falun Dafa truth-clarifying materials. Once, a practitioner was arrested while passing out these materials. After she was released, she told me to change the cellphone number on the flier.

At first, I thought she was being paranoid. But after she told me that the police confiscated her cellphone and computer, I became very worried. I got rid of my cellphone and always kept on the alert when going out. From then on, I usually felt that someone was watching me.

One day when was I practicing the exercises, Master Li's teaching of “matter and mind are one thing” (“Teaching the Fa at the Fa Conference in Australia”) suddenly came to mind. I started to understand the meaning of this Fa truth and sent righteous thoughts to cleanse the fear from my mind. My thoughts immediately became clear, which in turn changed the environment around me. I became calm and fearless. I continued to send out large quantities of fliers every week.

Later, another practitioner had their home ransacked by the police and the environment seemed dangerous again. I hid all my equipment and planned to pause the material production. Someone then asked me to produce 200 copies of the materials. I was scared and didn’t want to do it. The practitioner reminded me that this was my responsibility as a Dafa practitioner.

I reluctantly accepted the task. My fear didn’t go away, so I moved seven computers to an unused garage and intended to start the production there. Suddenly, someone started to use the garage and I had to move the equipment back home.

I studied the Fa intensively and gradually my fear disappeared again. I continued to work on material production even after I had printed 200 copies.

The idea of using one's real name to sue former Communist Party leader Jiang Zemin for persecuting Falun Gong had just started. I was worried that if I used my real name it could put my entire family at risk since they all practiced Falun Dafa. If I didn’t use my real name, it would not be truthful. I struggled with my fear and worried all the time.

While I was struggling, my husband filed a criminal complaint against Jiang and used our current address. I became very anxious and decided I would use a different address. At night, Master's Fa “Cultivate, my disciples, 'til no single omission is found” (“Cultivating Amidst the Delusion,” Hong Yin) came to mind. My mind became clear, and I didn’t have fear any more.

I finished writing the criminal complaint but then suddenly I felt very weak with a high fever, as if I had a heavy cold. The next day I walked slowly to the post office to send the letter. When I got back home, I realized I'd used the incorrect address. So I went back to the post office and asked the staff to find the letter and change the address. I also emphasized that this letter was to sue Jiang Zemin.

A staff member said they had accepted a large quantity of letters like this recently and were feeling a lot of pressure. I told them that it was a good thing with boundless merit, and they would be rewarded for doing the right thing. After I went back home, I felt very light, and my fear was gone.

My daughter was about to study abroad, and she also wanted to sue Jiang. I became anxious and scared again. She already had the visa and had bought the airline ticket. But what if something went wrong?

I tried to talk her out of filing the criminal complaint and promised to help her send it out after she left the country. She did not want to wait. I asked her to change her flight to the next day and leave immediately. She did not agree to that either.

My daughter finished the complaint letter and decided to mail it out the next day. I was very anxious and could not sleep. I thought about how my daughter had put forth so much effort to get the opportunity to study abroad, and about all the different ways something could go wrong.

My daughter sensed my concern and told me, “I will let Master decide. If Master wants me to go abroad, I will go abroad. If Master does not want me to go, then I will stay.”

I had a strong physical sensation as well as mental fear. I started to recite the Fa and get rid of my attachments. Gradually, I did not have fear and forgot the whole matter. My daughter left the country without a problem.

Then there was news about a fellow practitioner's court case. The verdict stated that she confessed knowing a Falun Gong practitioner couple. I knew they meant my husband and me. But I was not moved by it nor did I think much of the matter. I also did not acknowledge it and told myself this was all an illusion. Since then, the police never questioned me about this practitioner's case or the criminal complaint against Jiang. I understood that if I am aligned with the Fa, Master will help me.

As soon as I had zealous thoughts again, my brother informed me that the police knew I was still active. I became nervous, and it felt like the police knew everything about me. Just as I hung up the phone after talking with my brother, a police officer called and told me he knew I was still a practitioner. I became even more nervous and told him we could talk further face to face. I started to study the Fa and sent forth righteous thoughts. Gradually my fear disappeared. Later, when I met with the officer, he did not mention my being a practitioner at all.

I visited my daughter overseas. Practitioners there told me the environment outside China is better and asked me to stay. I felt, however, that China is the best environment for me to cultivate myself and get rid of my fears. I am glad I cultivate Falun Dafa in China.

I have gotten rid of my fear layer by layer at different cultivation levels. After many experiences, I understand that fear is not just a feeling, it is a material substance inside our mind. It has the effect of evolving and reflecting the environment outside of ourselves. When I get rid of the fear, the environment around me changes too.

So when we are in a dangerous situation, it is all because of our unrighteous thoughts. Master utilizes this environment for practitioners to cultivate and improve themselves, as well as to form one body. If we could all understand this, the persecution would have been over a long time ago.