(Minghui.org) I was illegally jailed in a detention center when the CCP (Chinese Communist Party) started to persecute Falun Dafa in July 1999. Below are some of my experiences of cultivating my heart and mind amidst a cruel environment.
Eliminating Karma
I was not able to sit the double lotus position to meditate after I started practicing in 1998. My legs would be incredibly painful after sitting that way for 10 minutes. It was rare for me to be able to remain in the position for more than 30 minutes.
In July 1999, right after the CCP started the persecution of Falun Dafa, I was jailed in a detention center in Beijing with 20 other practitioners. One morning, I tried to meditate. A few guards rushed into my cell and yelled, “Don't! Put your legs down and stand up!” A few practitioners stood up, but I just comfortably remained in the double-lotus position.
The guards ordered two criminal inmates to drag me outside where it was snowing heavily. They beat me in the snow. The strange thing was that, no matter how they beat me, I was able to remain in the full-lotus position. Failing to separate my legs, the criminals pushed me down, but then I sat up again. This repeated several times until the criminals were tired.
They dragged me inside and ordered all the practitioners to stand up in the room. I did not listen and kept sitting there with my legs crossed. I felt a strong, warm energy flow through my legs—I knew that it was my karma being eliminated.
Later somebody told me that the criminals tried throwing me around in the snow when they were beating me. I didn't feel any pain whatsoever.
Master said in Lecture Four of Zhuan Falun:
“If you have suffered a lot, the karma in your body will be transformed. Because you have suffered, however much you have endured will all be transformed into an equal amount of de.”
Since then, I have never felt pain doing the meditation, and I can sit in the double-lotus position for a long time.
Forming a Fa-study Group in the Detention Center
Master said in "Fa-Lecture During the 2003 Lantern Festival at the U.S. West Fa Conference:"
“Let me tell you, every person in the entire world was at one point part of my family.”
“Everything in the world was established and created for the Fa-rectification, and Dafa disciples are the great figures of our time. Since ancient times the beings in all realms have waited in anticipation. Gather up and rescue the beings that you are to save! Have righteous thoughts and righteous actions, dissolve all hindrances, and spread the facts widely. Divine beings are among men.” (“To the European Fa Conference in Stockholm” from The Essentials of Diligent Progress III)
In 2002, I was jailed in a detention center again. Recalling Master's lecture, I decided to explain the facts of Falun Dafa to the people in my cell and help them to gain salvation. There were five murderers in my cell. They were victims of miserable marriages. I was sympathetic to their plights. In my eyes, they were all sentient beings that needed my help, and they had a predestined relationship with me.
I told them how wonderful Falun Dafa is, and they were happy to listen to me. I found a pen and paper and wrote down Master's poems and articles that I could recite. We read the Fa together every day. There was a gang member in the detention center who often gave us trouble at the beginning. She beat me up several times. However, I always treated her with a cultivator's compassion, which eventually touched her heart. She stopped interfering with our Fa-study.
We studied the Fa every day for four months, until I was sent to another detention center. One of the murderers cried and asked me, “Why didn't I meet you before? If I had met you and learned Falun Dafa, I would never have done the bad deeds I did.” Many detainees were quite touched when I told them about Falun Dafa's teachings. I felt happy that so many people were awakened by the Buddha Fa.
Electric Baton Stops Working
In the detention center, the guards often beat practitioners with electric batons. They wanted to coerce us to give up Falun Dafa. On one occasion the guards shocked me until there were blisters all over my arms and legs. They also burned my neck, where an egg-sized blister formed.
I was then forced to stir salt and pepper into salad with my bare and blistered hands. This was dinner for all detainees in the detention center. Although the blisters on my arms were covered with salt and pepper, I did not feel pain—I knew I was being protected by Master.
After being beaten a few times, I realized that I should stand up against the abuse. I started a hunger strike and refused to do forced labor. I also demanded the freedom to practice Falun Dafa. The chief guard took out her electric baton and turned it on. She ordered me to grab it with my bare hands. Quietly asking Master for help, I grabbed ahold of the baton without hesitation. A miracle happened. It just felt like a cellphone vibrating in my hands.
The guard turned the baton off and on, but it had stopped working. She was shocked and did not know what to do. Looking at her, I did not hate her. Instead, all I could think of was to save her. I hugged her and said, “Sister, I am going to save you.” I held her for a minute before she pushed me away. She swore at me, but I knew that it was the evil controlling her.
Later, she told the other prisoners that I had become divine and was not an ordinary person anymore. After that, she never beat me with her electric baton.
Boiling Water Did Not Scar Me
In the detention center, I started a hunger strike to protest the torture. The guards tied me to a bed and force-fed me. They inserted a tube into my stomach through my nostrils, which made me nauseous. Although my hands were tied, I managed to pull the tube out. A week later, I was sent back to the cell. I refused to do the forced labor. For five years, I was given two egg-sized buns every meal. I got very skinny and was always cold, even in May.
The detention center guards ordered a prisoner to watch me. I told her what Falun Dafa really is. She was touched and we became friends. One day, she saw I was trembling due to the cold.
She poured boiling water into a 2-liter plastic bottle and told me to put it on my back as a hot water bottle. I put it under my coat. A few minutes later, it exploded, and hot water spilled all over my neck and head. Feeling around, I rubbed off bits of my skin, and wiped up my blood with a paper towel. A few hours later, I was taken to a hospital.
I sent forth righteous thoughts every day. Scars formed within three weeks. However, a year later, the scars couldn't be seen anymore, as if nothing had happened.
“Heart Failure” Merely an Illusion
After the hunger strike, I was given two buns for every meal. Three years later, during a physical exam, the doctors discovered that my blood vessels seemed to have dried out and could not transport enough blood. A few days later, they managed to draw a little blood for testing. All the results were below the healthy range.
During the fourth year, I had a heart attack. In the hospital, it took the nurses a long time to find my veins to insert an IV. I was diagnosed with heart failure and told that I could die at any moment. But I knew that I was fine—it was just an illusion.
A few days later, I was sent back to the cell. I felt fine. The environment in the detention center became more relaxed. I was no longer made to do any forced labor. All I did every day was send forth righteous thoughts.
Cultivating with Dignity
Every detainee has to wear a name tag. Wearing a prisoner's name tag was an insult to me, so I tore it off. The guards sewed it on the back of my shirt when I slept at night. The next morning, somebody told me it was there, and I tore it off again. The guards sewed it on yet again. They grabbed me, held my hands, and held me down. By then, I had lived on two buns per meal for four years, but I started a hunger strike again to protest. The detention center was worried that I would die, so they gave up.
Master said:
“If a cultivator can truly let go of [the fear of] death, then that death will forever be far removed from you.” ("Teaching the Fa at the 2004 International Fa Conference in New York")
After I was released, my employer refused to give me back my job, so I started my own business. I study the Fa diligently and try my best to clarify the truth and save people. My experiences made me realize that only if one solidly cultivates can one overcome all the tribulations under Master's protection. I deeply appreciate all Master has done for me.
