(Minghui.org) I visit Minghui website almost every day, using FreeGate anti-censorship software. On the front page of DynaWeb, the anti-censorship portal, there are many scandalous news about the Chinese Communist Party's (CCP) power struggle, corruption, building demolitions, and so on. I would read them ocassionally as some of the news can be used for truth clarification.

When The Epoch Times website first reported the news about Wang Lijun fleeing to the U.S. Consulate, this information was still blocked in China. Because The Epoch Times is a media established by Dafa practitioners to clarify the truth, I thought the news was credible and shared it with my family. My father responded, “Nonsense! The newspaper here says Wang Lijun is now the vice mayor and is on leave of absence convalescing.” I replied, “How can you believe the CCP's media? The only thing true is the date. Let's wait and see which news source is more accurate.” A few days later, the CCP's media reported that Wang Lijun had spent hours at the U.S. Consulate. I asked my family, “So was he convalescing at the U.S. Consulate? Who do you think is more accurate?” My father did not utter a word.

Later I told my family that Bo Xilai wanted to kill Wang Lijun, because Wang found out that Gu Kailai (Bo Xilai's wife) had killed a British man and reported it to Bo. My father said, “I don't think Bo Xilai would do such thing.” I replied, “Let's wait and see.” Very soon, the television news reported that the CCP was going to detain and interrogate Bo Xilai. I told my family, “Wow, The Epoch Times is truly accurate. I didn't think this would happen so quickly. Did you know that both Wang Lijun and Bo Xilai persecuted Falun Gong practitioners? They are paying for their bad deeds now.” My mother said, “It's all right for you to say things like this at home, but don't do that outside of the house.”

My family members have already quit the CCP. However, it has been difficult to completely eliminate the Party culture from their minds. That is understandable, because even though I'm a practitioner, I am occasionally affected by the Party culture as well. I was persecuted before; therefore, my family is very afraid of the CCP.

I became zealous after the Wang Lijun incident and started to read the news on The Epoch Times website on a daily basis. I read the news about Hu Jintao's faction banding with Xi Jinping's faction to strike at Jiang Zemin's faction, Hu Jintao being in a position of power, members of Jiang's group allying with Hu, Jiang being comatose, etc. It was as if Jiang Zemin was going to be eliminated amidst the power struggle. I got excited reading the news and was hoping that Hu's faction would win the power struggle and punish Jiang Zemin.

A well-known commentator of The Epoch Times predicted that Zhou Yongkang was next to be detained and interrogated, and it was going to happen soon. I showed off the news to my family, as if I knew a great deal. I said, “Zhou Yongkang supported Bo Xilai to conspire against Xi Jinping and to prevent Xi from being chosen as the CCP's future general secretary. Looks like another persecutor of Falun Gong will soon be arrested.” This time no one in my family objected, and they believed what I said. I was not only unaware of my attachments, but also continued to share my opinions with my family. As the 18th Party Congress got closer, I named the people who will be on the seven-member Politburo Standing Committee and said that it was already predetermined. I didn't notice my attachment to showing off and failed to cultivate my speech. I was excited talking about things that interested me.

Two days later, on the day of the 18th Party Congress, I read Master's new lecture, “Stay Clearheaded.” I realized that I had put my hopes on the Party struggle. Although I knew that Dafa disciples are the only hope for sentient beings' salvation, and that we are the main protagonists of the play, somehow those attachments had been raised. I began to send forth righteous thoughts earnestly, and with better concentration than before.

Last night, when I was sending forth righteous thoughts at 6 p.m., my father was watching the news announcement about the list of the Central Committee members. I was in the adjacent room. My heart was beating fast, and I could not calm down. However, I tried to continue to send forth righteous thoughts until the time was up. The next day when I came home, my father said, “The Politburo Standing Committee will meet at 11 a.m.” I was planning to send forth righteous thoughts around noon time, but then I was curious about who was on the committee and if the prediction was accurate. Half an hour later, there was still no results. I remembered Master's teaching in “Stay Clearheaded” and thought, “Isn't that an attachment of mine to know the results?” But then my curiosity took over and I thought, “I've already waited this long. I should just wait a little more.”

The Standing Committee met at 11:50 a.m. The results were not as predicted according to the online news. Two of the members were not on the online prediction list. I thought, “I wonder if these two members have persecuted Dafa? Which faction do they belong to? I have already missed the time to send forth righteous thoughts, so I might as well check the news on The Epoch Times website.” The Internet was blocked, and it took me a while to visit The Epoch Times website. I found out that five of the seven members on the Standing Committee belong to Jiang's faction. I felt at a loss and upset. “How is that possible?” I thought.

Later I read a sharing article on Minghui, “Suggestion for Practitioners to Read the 9th Fa Conference Sharing Articles, and Not the CCP Propaganda.” I began to look inward. Why was I feeling at a loss? Did I not think of myself as the protagonist of this play? Does it matter who is on the Standing Committee? Those members are all the same. The CCP will not change its nature of wanting to destroy humanity. It will be eliminated at the end. Aren't the results of the Standing Committee selection affected by our human hearts? We have already had many lessons in this respect, and Master has warned us many times in His lectures. But I still have such strong attachments to curiosity, zealotry, and the mentality of wanting to show off.

I thought I had done a good job of eliminating these attachments, but they were all exposed during this incident. I think that since Minghui website is an online platform where Dafa practitioners share cultivation experiences, and because practitioners must pay attention to the attitude of Minghui, we should visit it more often. It's not that we should not read the news on The Epoch Times, but we need to look at it from the perspective of saving sentient beings, and should not harbor curiosity, zealotry or the mentality of showing off after reading the news articles. The Epoch Times is a news media established by practitioners to clarify the truth to ordinary people. Therefore, it contains many things that are of the ordinary society. I think it would be best if practitioners spend little time on it.