(Clearwisdom.net) Before I retired, my workplace was a great place to clarify the facts. I compared it to those centers for quitting the Chinese Communist Party in New York and Los Angeles. Every day, I was able to persuade dozens of people to quit the CCP. During that time, I felt I was truly a part of the Fa, and was very happy. When I retired in 2009, I lamented the loss of this opportunity to clarify the facts. A practitioner's words awoke me, “If you are truly made of gold, you can shine anywhere!” I changed my mindset and decided to walk well my path of cultivation.
During cultivation, I have encountered a lot of tribulations. Today, I'd like to share how I passed the test of attachment to family and did the three things well.
The Test of Family
Before, when I focused on clarifying the facts at my workplace, I basically had no major xinxing tests. After I retired, I needed to take care of my mother-in-law, who was in her 80s, as well as my 6-year-old grandson. I did all the housework and taught my mother-in-law the Falun Gong exercises. I taught her to say “Falun Dafa is great.” I also taught my grandson to recite poems in Hong Yin. He can recite more than 60 poems written by Master.
Suddenly, one day, everyone in my family turned against my cultivation, as though they were influenced by external forces. They said I would destroy our family. They tried to force me to give up cultivation. At that time, I said that I would rather divorce my husband and sever ties with my children than give up cultivation. I felt I was very firm. Later, I realized that this was unintentionally walking a path arranged by the old forces.
In the following days, my family members watched me closely to prevent me from clarifying the facts, studying the Fa, and sending forth righteous thoughts. I lost my freedom. I lost contact with fellow practitioners. I no longer had a cultivation environment. I was in great pain. I had to wake up in the middle of the night to be able to study the Fa. Gradually, I calmed down and looked inward: this was NOT the path arranged by Master. So what did I do wrong that caused all my family to turn against me?
I found attachments to competition, vanity, and the fear of being wronged. After I thought things through, I realized that I should just do whatever I should and study the Fa, since the Fa could eliminate all attachments and make me diligent. Because I didn't pass this test well, the next test followed immediately. Due to pressure from the Chinese Communist regime, my children feared that I would ruin their future, and treated me as an enemy. They locked me inside my room and forced me to give up cultivation. They threatened to burn photos of Master and Dafa books.
With experience from the last time, I decided no matter what they did, it would not move my heart and I would not argue with them. I just said calmly, “If I practice, I can have a healthy body and be a good person. What's wrong with improving my physical and mental health?” To my surprise, my calm demeanor aggravated my son-in-law. He pointed at my nose and said, “You don't need to be so healthy. Why do you want to live so long?” I couldn't take it anymore. Although I have heard Master's lectures, I couldn't hold my heart still, and said some mean things as well. I was upset and disappointed that I had children like this. I spent my whole life taking care of them, yet they treated me so poorly. I was very hurt.
At that moment, Master's words came to me. In Zhuan Falun, Master said,
"Cultivation practice must take place through tribulations so as to test whether you can part with and care less about different kinds of human sentimentality and desires. If you are attached to these things, you will not succeed in cultivation." (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)
I held back my tears and did not want to think too much about what my children did. Actually I didn't pass this test well, since at that time my xinxing was at the level of an ordinary person. I looked inward and found that I always focused on myself. I only wanted to change others but not myself. In addition, I had too much emotion: love for my children, love for my husband, and so on. The emotions were quite strong. I was even thinking that once I reached consummation, I would leave them behind, and I felt sorry for them and even that I owed them something. I was so confused! The emotions of ordinary people's are the filthiest and least dependable. Didn't my attachments cause the things that happened recently? Because I didn't cultivate well, the evil was able to take advantage of my gaps and cause my family members to sin against Dafa. I felt so ashamed.
For a long time, I have considered myself to have good enlightenment quality. Although I began cultivating relatively late, I thought I cultivated well and clarified the facts to a lot of people. I had hidden attachments to vanity and zealotry. If it hadn't been for Master, what could I have accomplished? Master is doing everything. The more I searched inward, the more I realized how far I was off the track. I corrected my speech and actions. Through this, I realized how much more I need to cultivate. I wasn't resentful of my family members. They gave me an opportunity to improve my xinxing, and I needed to treat them with compassion.
Study the Fa Well, Solidly Cultivate Ourselves
Through looking inward, I found my shortcomings. I corrected them right away and used all opportunities to study the Fa. In the morning, I studied a chapter of Zhuan Falun. In the afternoon, I distributed materials to clarify the facts. In the evening, I read Master's recent lectures. In between, I found time to take care of household chores. Although I was very busy, I felt my level improving.
However, this was far away from Master's requirements. Master said,
“If he wants to continue increasing his gong, the conflict will also become very serious, as it requires him to keep upgrading xinxing.” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)
A great number of tribulations followed soon afterward. My husband was having dinner with some friends one evening. One of them died suddenly the next morning. His family members threatened to bring the dead body to the police station. My husband was suspended from his job. This sudden disaster shocked my family. The family of the dead person asked my husband and others at the dinner to each pay 40,000 yuan. One of them didn't have a job and could not afford to pay such a large amount. The situation was a mess.
I looked at the issue from the perspective of the Fa. It was no coincidence that I encountered this. I realized that first of all, we might have owed the family money in our past lives; it is natural that we need to pay it back. Secondly, this issue directly targeted my xinxing. The principles in the three realms are the reverse of those in the heavens. What ordinary people consider bad could actually be good for cultivators. Master is not only looking after us, but also our family members. He wouldn't let my family bear suffering that wasn't duly theirs. Perhaps this whole thing happened to eliminate my attachment to money and transform my karma. We might have owed a great amount of karmic debt. Wouldn't it be good to pay it back?
I told myself to pass the xinxing test well this time. I used a cultivator's righteous thoughts, and not human attachments, to handle the issue. Instead of blaming my husband, I used the Fa to guide him and inspire his kind thoughts. I explained to him the Fa principle of “No loss, no gain.” In the end, our family members reached a consensus. In addition to paying 40,000 yuan for our family, we also paid 40,000 yuan for the family that couldn't afford it. When the body was incinerated, my son-in-law also gave 500 yuan to the dead person's family to show our condolences. The family was very touched. They made a special trip to my husband's workplace, asking them not to give my husband a hard time. They also admitted the person who died had a history of heart disease. I was glad we passed this test well.
On the path of cultivation, I had many tests, both big and small. I wouldn't have made it to this point today were it not for Master's compassionate salvation and assistance from fellow cultivators in my study group. I am very grateful to them. Now my most important thought is to study the Fa, look inward, give up attachments without pursuit, and only think about giving. Without selfish thoughts, others don't want to argue with me, either. My daughter said several times that I had become much kinder. My husband also said, “You have such a good heart. Just practice cultivation well. If you cultivate well, we can benefit, too.” Our family became more harmonious, and I am able to concentrate on doing the three things that Dafa disciples should do.
I traveled with another practitioner to a nearby county seat to clarify the facts. We were able to clarify the facts to dozens of people in a day. This spring, my family was renovating our house, and we were all very busy. However, I put saving people as my top priority. Every morning, I opened the door to let the workers do their job, then I would distribute fact-clarification materials in different neighborhoods. No matter where I went, I was able to meet and talk to people. Every day, I could change the minds of more than 20 people.
This August, I have been bringing my little grandson with me whenever I went to the street corner to watch people play chess. Sometimes the temperature is over 38 degrees Celsius (100.4 degrees Fahrenheit), but I don't mind. All I care about is clarifying the facts and saving people. In three days, I persuaded more than 100 people to quit the Chinese Communist Party.
I still have a long way to go to meet Master's requirements. I have shortcomings in many areas. From now on, I will have even firmer belief in Master and the Fa to walk well the path of Fa-rectification. I will do my best to be worthy of Master's saving grace, and look forward to returning home with Master at the time of consummation. I thank Master for his grand mercy, for giving me the opportunity to cultivate in this lifetime!
