Getting Rid of Jealousy during the Process of Comparing Oneself with Others

(Clearwisdom.net) I started my cultivation in Falun Dafa in the fall of 1996, but it was not until 2002 that I came to realize the meaning of the term “Fa-rectification period Dafa disciple.” Recently, I have gained some understanding on the issue of jealousy, which I would like to share with fellow practitioners.

Some practitioners have mentioned the issue of jealousy in the past, but I did not carefully examine myself in this regard. I just superficially checked myself and believed that I did not have the jealousy that practitioners talked about. For various reasons, the sofa in my house was not in good condition and I paid no attention to it, and did not make the effort to fix it. One day, I went to visit a colleague. She had just made a sofa case with an old bed sheet. She asked me, “Does it look better than the one in your home?” I responded, “It is indeed very good.” I should have let this go, but after I returned home, her words came to my mind several times. I thought that she had even wanted to get the upper hand on the issue of the sofa case. I did not feel very good as this was not a tiny issue and it had moved me. I knew that I was jealous of her, so I should take a good look at my attachment of jealousy.

At this time I downloaded “A Compilation of Articles Related to Eliminating the Attachment of Jealousy,” http://www.clearwisdom.net/emh/articles/2008/1/28/93737.html). After I printed it out, I carefully read it. I had read it before, and it had not moved me much. I did not measure myself against others. When I looked back at this issue again, I realized that in the past I thought that I had some advantages over others and did better in some aspects, so I had unknowingly compared myself with others. Because through this comparison, I felt that I had done better than others, hence I didn't become jealous of others. This manifestation in my mindset is arrogance. With arrogance, I tended to look down upon others. Arrogance is also a reflection of my jealousy. This time when I visited this colleague of mine, I felt she had measured herself against me and I was at a disadvantage in this comparison since she was better than me. My jealousy surfaced when I saw someone who seemed better than me.

When I read the compilation again, I found that the various types of jealousy mentioned in the compiled articles have all existed in me. For example, I complained that my husband did not do much housework. Now I know that was a reflection of my jealousy. I measured myself against each individual around me so as to see whether I felt jealous of them. I wanted to dig out the root causes and eliminate the attachment of jealousy. My mother-in-law first came into my mind. She is rational and reasonable and considers others first. So those who know her have very good impressions of her. I had never spoken anything bad about her in private, which, in fact, was because I was afraid that others would think I was not good if I had said anything bad about her. Now when I look at her way of dealing with others, I have come to respect her. I am able to understand the distinction between filial obedience and filial piety. The latter has the content of respect. When some elderly do not have their children’s respect for what they have done, what they get is their children’s filial obedience, rather than filial piety. When I have a mindset of obedience and respect toward my mother-in-law, I no longer feel jealous of her.

With regard to the wife of my husband’s brother, I had obviously felt jealous of her. She had not contributed as much as I did to the family. I felt unbalanced in my heart for I was always the person who had contributed more to the family. Now that I have started to think about her, she is the only child in her family, so she needs to mind all the things that her parents need to deal with. Being an elder sister-in-law of hers, I should care more about her. After I had gotten rid of my jealousy, I came to feel that the substance which served as blockage in my chest was gone and I felt very pleased. When we met again in my mother-in-law’s house, she even apologized for not being able to help in cleaning the dishes. She also showed her respect for me in her own words.

Master said,

“A wicked person is born of jealousy.
Out of selfishness and anger he complains about unfairness towards himself.
A benevolent person always has a heart of compassion.
With no discontentment or hatred, he takes hardship as joy.
An enlightened person has no attachments at all.
He quietly observes the people of the world deluded by illusions.” (“Realms” in Essentials for Further Advancement)

I now understand that one is a wicked person when one holds grudges, feels unbalanced, does not let go of things in one's mind feeling unfair and angry. When I think this way, I feel frightened, as I still behave like a wicked person after having cultivated for over ten years. But fortunately, I have recognized these bad things and I can get rid of them.

In sharing, a practitioner said, “I cannot take hardship as joy.” His words remind me. Master has told us, “Eating bitterness treated as joy”. ("Tempering the Will" in Hong Yin) Although I have remembered this poem, I have not acted accordingly. I have not taken it to the depths of my heart. From now on, I need to live up to “Eating bitterness treated as joy.” When I can live up to this requirement, I will have no grudges, hatred, anger or unfairness in my heart. Only by being able to act that way can one act and become a benevolent person.

I am really grateful to my colleague in my heart as her words have prompted me to find and eliminate the deeply hidden attachment of jealousy. In the meantime, I also feel how happy I am to be a Dafa cultivator, who has the protection of Master, the guidance of Master’s Fa, as well as the assistance and reminders from fellow practitioners.

Attachments, including jealousy, reveal themselves in layers. They are still hidden within deeply. In our present realms, we have measured ourselves with Master’s Fa to eliminate our attachments. When we have improved in our realms, our attachments may show other manifestations. So there are still things that we need to get rid of.
This is my current understanding. Please point out anything incorrect.