(Clearwisdom.net) I am a female Falun Dafa practitioner from Shandong Province. I am 22 years old and a university student. I began to practice Falun Gong in 1998. Back then, I was only an 11-year-old student. Falun Dafa has accompanied me for over ten years. Thinking back on my cultivation path, I feel a bit of regret. Even though I have been walking on the path of cultivation, I haven't been able to hold myself to the standards of Falun Dafa at all times. Sometimes I was diligent, sometimes I was not. I let Teacher down. I am thankful to Teacher for not giving up on me. He has been watching me and leading me on the way home.
1. Practicing Falun Dafa with My Mother
My mother began to practice Dafa earlier than I did. Before she started practicing, she was so sick that she couldn't climb the stairs. She was on medication all year around. Even though my father was working, his income was average. With the medical expenses he had to cover for my mom, we were leading a difficult life. At that time, there were assistants from Falun Dafa exercise sites coming to our neighborhood to spread the practice. My mother wanted to give it a try, so she started practicing. About a month later, her illness was healed. After witnessing this miracle, my father and I were very supportive of her practicing Falun Gong. So, she became a practitioner. I was fairly young at the time. Even though I began to follow my mother to practice, I didn't really know what "cultivation practice" was. There were many practitioners living in our neighborhood. Every morning, we began to do the exercises at set times. I always stood in the first row and did the exercises seriously with the others. Sometimes my mother and I would ride our bicycles and go to a large exercise site nearby, where there were a few hundred practitioners doing the exercises together. It was truly magnificent. To this day, I still remember the scene, with many of our young practitioners standing in the first row. Thinking about that now, I feel I was so happy.
2. Overcoming Tribulations
In 1999, the Chinese Communist Party began the brutal persecution of Falun Gong. At that time, both my mother and I had only been practicing for a year. Facing the overwhelming evil pressure, we were puzzled: Was what was shown on TV true? Why did the government oppose Falun Dafa? After we thought about it, we became clear: Falun Dafa had demonstrated so many miraculous transformations that we had personally witnessed. It couldn't be fake! In addition, we follow Truth-Compassion-Forbearance to be good people. There is nothing wrong with that either! Therefore, like tens of millions of practitioners, my mother and I embarked on the road of validating the Fa. We had prepared truth-clarification banners. On our bicycles we went to the neighborhood villages and residential areas to distribute them. We also found chalk and wrote out truth-clarification messages in public places in the evenings. One time, we wrote messages on the entrance door of a factory. My mother told me the next day that there were many people surrounding the door, reading the words we had written. They were also talking about it. It was not until the person in charge of the factory took notice that was it erased. We were doing this during the time when the evil was most rampant. Our messages achieved a great effect and shocked the evil forces. This made my mom and me very happy. But soon after that, one time when my mom was distributing materials, she was reported by someone and taken into a forced labor camp for detention.
I was a junior high school student back then, and lived at my uncle's place. I still remember it. It was morning and raining, and right before my sister and I were about to head out, our mom called. It happened to be me who picked up the phone. On the phone, my mother was choking while speaking. She said that she had been arrested. She asked me if she should tell them where we had obtained the truth-clarification materials. She had never run into this kind of situation before, and she didn't know what to do. I was dumbfounded as well. After I regained my thoughts, I said to her firmly, "No, please don't." I understood that what we were doing was very important, therefore, we should never tell anyone. She agreed, then she hung up the phone. I pretended like nothing had happened, said bye to my auntie, and left the house. I was riding my bicycle and heading off to school with my sister. On our way, I couldn't hold back my tears any more and let them fall with the rain.
In the evening, after my uncle came home, he began to tell me about what had happened to my mom. He found out that I already knew about it. After that, tribulations came one after another. My dad's attitude towards Falun Dafa changed dramatically. Under the pressure, he began to be hostile towards Falun Dafa, and wanted to divorce my mom. He didn't allow me to continue practicing. He talked to me a few times, and showed his stance in a very strong way. He said the consequence of my not giving up practicing was that he would cut off his relationship with me. At that time, my mom was detained in a forced labor camp. My father's family members all supported him, and they took turns speaking to me for the same purpose.
It was such a difficult period for me back then. There was nobody I could talk to, I was so depressed that I was almost suffocated. I often hid myself under the blanket and cried. I did not want to give up Falun Dafa, and all I could do was to keep silent. My mom was having a much more difficult time, she was forced to watch videos defaming Falun Dafa every day. On top of that, she was forced to write a guarantee statement to stop practicing. My mom refused to write it, so my uncle wrote her a letter to ask her to write the statement. I wrote her a letter as well. In the letter, I expressed how much I missed her. I asked her to take good care of herself. At the end, I drew a picture, which had a young lady. The young lady was me. I had also drawn an eye in between her eyebrows to signify the celestial eye. I wanted to tell my mom that I had not changed, nor given up. Unfortunately, my mom misunderstood my intention in writing this letter to her. She didn't even open up the letter, just torn it up and threw it away. During that period of time when I was preparing for the mid-term exam, I left the attachment to my mom behind. I was just concentrated on preparing for the exam. With Teacher's help, I had a very good score and was admitted to a good school. After my mom had been detained for three months, she was released and returned home.
After she returned, my dad's stance became our biggest tribulation. Because my mom was released after she wrote the so-called three statements, my dad thought that she had given up practicing. Therefore, initially, we were at peace. Later, after he realized that my mom had not given up on practicing Falun Gong, he started using all kinds of means to coerce my mom to stop practicing, tearing up her books, destroying her audiotapes, and breaking the incense burner for showing respect to our Teacher. When we tried to stop him and clarify the truth to him, he became even angrier and began to beat us. One morning, my mom got up early to do the exercises, which was seen by my dad. He ran into our room and then began to beat my mom. I was woken up and tried to stop him. I ended up being slapped on the face and fell off the bed to the ground. My mom's mouth and nose began to bleed, yet she was still trying to protect me from being beaten. Because I lacked an in-depth understanding of the Fa, I only knew to resist him in an ordinary way. There were a few times this kind of tribulation happened to us.
At that time, both of us lacked an in-depth understanding of Falun Dafa. I did not know how to use the Fa to protect ourselves, or use our righteous thoughts to subdue evil interference. Instead, we'd been relying on our competitive mentality to resist. As a result, we were persecuted time and time again. Later, through consistent Fa-study and studying Teacher's new articles, we finally came to realize our loopholes. We tried to follow the requirements of the Fa and to keep cultivating ourselves well, and at the same time sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate evil interference. We persistently clarified the truth to my father. In the end, after five or six years, my father gradually changed his attitude. Now not only does he not interfere with my mother and me any more, but he also has quit the CCP Youth League membership, and published a solemn declaration. He has chosen a bright future for himself. We felt truly happy for him. He still doesn't like the fact that my mother clarifies the truth to others, so we need to improve so that he can change later on. As long as we have a heart for saving sentient beings, we truly believe that we will see a good outcome.
3. Witnessing the Miracles of Falun Dafa
Falun Dafa has displayed many miracles to me. For example, I was preparing for an entrance exam to be admitted to university. The entrance exam was rather difficult, the passing rate was only 20%. In addition, I was applying for a different major. On top of that, when I decided to write the entrance exam, there were only forty days left. I needed to prepare six subjects, five of which I had never studied before. I studied the Fa every day before preparing for the exam. I had this one thought on my mind: I'd leave everything with Teacher, all I needed to do was my best. It turned out that there were sixty students being admitted to universities, and my scored ranked the 49th, so I was successfully admitted. As soon as my friends heard my story, they thought it was truly amazing. Indeed, Falun Dafa is as amazing as this, truly as what Master said in Zhuan Falun: "Cultivation depends on one's own efforts, while the transformation of gong is done by one's master."
4. Walking the Path of Validating the Fa Well
In my personal cultivation, I haven't done well enough. In my university, I only clarified the truth to my classmates, which is not enough. In terms of sending righteous thoughts at the global set times, sometimes when I got busy, I forgot about sending them. As a result, I missed sending forth righteous thoughts many times. Sometimes I slacked off. As a result of that, I didn't study the Fa, or do the exercises. For this reason, I stumbled a few times. There were a few times that I had serious illness karma. I almost failed to pass the test. Luckily, I had my mom to help me. She shared with me, helped me find the loophole taken advantage of by evil interference, and encouraged me to strive forward vigorously. She would send forth righteous thoughts for me, and keep a close eye on me to make sure I worked hard enough so as to overcome the tribulation quickly. I was very thankful to my mom. Without her help, I figured that in such a complex environment in the human world, especially as a young disciple who lacked self-constraint, I would probably be subject to all kinds of interference. As a result, I might not be able to pass the trials and tribulations, and would have given up halfway through my cultivation. I thought: Teacher had my mom be my company, had us cultivate together--this was for the purpose of having us help each other and make improvements together, so that we are able to return home at the end of our cultivation.
I understood that I had many attachments to be eliminated. Attachments such as selfishness, lust, fame, self-interest, etc. My biggest attachment is lust. As a young practitioner, lust is my greatest interference. Especially in a social environment, things that are unrighteous and full of pornographic images interfere with us. Teacher has talked about this issue many times. What I'm stressing here is that the Fa-rectification has come to its final stage. Every practitioner, especially young practitioners, must be firm so as not to be interfered with in this regard. I have come across this situation where even though I was clear in my heart on what to do, I still found it hard to let go. At this time, we need to keep studying the Fa to strengthen our righteous thoughts. At the same time, we must send forth righteous thoughts to eliminate the attachment. If we are still interfered with, we should look to Teacher for help, we should never indulge ourselves and just let it go. If we let ourselves indulge, we will be easily taken advantage of by evil forces. We have been given so many lessons in the past. For myself, I will be more strict with myself and do the things that I'm supposed to do well.
Looking back over my ten-year cultivation path, I have experienced a great deal. I'm fortunate enough to be Teacher's disciple, and to have become a Fa-rectification period Falun Dafa disciple. I'm fortunate enough to be able to assist Teacher to validate the Fa alongside many other divine beings, and walk this precious path to return home. On the final leg of the journey, I will do my very best to complete my sacred mission.
