(Clearwisdom.net)
1. Practicing Dafa and Regaining Good Health
I obtained the Fa in 1996. When I was bicycling back home that day, I felt the Falun spinning in my abdomen, and the bicycle seemed so light that I felt like someone was pushing me.
Falun Dafa changed my life, and I experienced many miracles through the practice. My illnesses, including cervical vertebra and lumbar bone hyperplasia, bursitis, arthritis, and gynecological diseases disappeared. The dark spots on my face, which troubled me a lot in the past and could not be cured, also disappeared after I started practicing. Surprisingly, my mother, who had been illiterate, could also read Zhuan Falun.
After experiencing these miraculous changes, I knew that Dafa was the truth I had been looking for. I decided that I would be firm in my belief no matter how hard cultivation might be. Thereafter, I volunteered to bring the Falun Gong exercise music to the local practice site and rode my bicycle to many places to introduce the practice to predestined people. I felt full of energy and no longer tired easily. My introverted character also subsided, and I became a very open and active person.
2. Validating the Fa and Saving Sentient Beings in Forced Labor Camp
The hardships I experienced during the first three years of cultivation helped build a strong foundation for my practice. After the persecution began in 1999, I went to Beijing several times to appeal for justice for Falun Gong. I was arrested several times and sent to a labor camp, where I was tortured with various methods. This, however, only solidified my belief in Dafa and made me more mature. I did not feel pain when I was beaten, and I did not feel hungry or thirsty when I was on a hunger strike. I know that Master endured this for me. In that evil environment, I felt that Master was protecting me at all times. I realized that Dafa's mighty power will manifest and Master will be able to help us if we can let go of the attachment of life and death.
Master said,
"Never in history has someone who persecuted those with upright faiths ever succeeded."("Coercion Cannot Change People's Hearts," Essentials for Further Advancement II).
While I was on a hunger strike for over 20 days, I wrote articles to expose the evil and clarify the truth about Falun Gong to save sentient beings. In that environment, I believed that firmly protesting the persecution amounts to validating the Fa. Practitioners who were on hunger strikes were not subjected forced labor, so I studied the Fa and did the exercises every day. Practitioners broke through the Internet blockage and were able to publish our articles on the Clearwisdom website to expose the evil actions at the labor camp to the world. The officials at the labor camp and in the Chinese government were shocked.
After that, we were under an even tighter control, but we still managed to receive Master's new articles. To prevent this, the guards often searched and monitored us. Any blankets and clothing received from our family members were cut up with scissors or spun very hard in washing machines before being handed to us, but we still received Master's new articles. The guards were angry and said that Falun Gong was miraculous.
Master said, "A demon will never be higher than a Tao." (Zhuan Falun)
No matter how brutal the persecution was, we continued to memorize Master's Lunyu and Hong Yin. "Falun Dafa is good!" could be heard in the cafeteria, exercise field, and prison cells. Practitioners created a good environment in the prison cells, and we also did Falun Gong exercises together. Then those opportunities were taken away from us, but we looked for other opportunities to validate the Fa. Some practitioners made a banner with "Falun Dafa is good!" When a meeting was held in a hall, another practitioner and I opened the banner for over thousand people to see.
Not long after I arrived at the labor camp, I clarified the truth to a young team leader and later sent her a letter to clarify the facts further. She was not as cruel toward Falun Dafa practitioners thereafter. When she was transferred later on, a very fierce middle-aged woman came in to replace her. She asked me to come to her office. I was very kind and had only one thought, that I must let her know that Falun Dafa is good and that the persecution is wrong. We had a very deep conversation, at the end of which she said that she admired me. Afterward, while she was still involved in the persecution of other practitioners, she always smiled at me and never persecuted me severely.
We not only clarified the truth about Falun Gong to team leaders, but also talked to the inmates who monitored us. Many inmates were touched by the practitioners' kindness. Some of them stopped beating practitioners, some even helped to pass on Master's articles, and some started to practice Falun Gong. Many inmates and prison officials learned that practitioners were good people and admired those practitioners who firmly believed in Dafa.
Master said, "Of course, cultivation is up to you, gong is up to the master." (Zhuan Falun).
Under Master's protection, I walked out of the labor camp after a long hunger strike. At the time, I appeared to be on the verge of death and my family members cried because they thought I could not survive, but I told them that I was okay since I have Master. Soon I recovered. It was a manifestation of the miraculous power of Dafa once again. My family members, colleagues, and even the police witnessed it. My husband began to better understand the truth about Falun Gong and changed from being fearful to protesting against the persecution. Other Falun Gong practitioners in my family also became more diligent.
3. Setting Up a Truth-Clarification Materials Production Center
The biggest challenge for practitioners in mainland China is fear. Some practitioners have not been able to come out to validate the Fa when the persecution has been very severe. When materials production centers are destroyed or fellow practitioners arrested, these are big tests of whether we can continue to save sentient beings, do the three things well and rescue fellow practitioners.
After I was released from the labor camp, I was fired from my job since I refused to give up practicing Falun Gong. Officials also assigned a person to monitor me. The local police and the 610 Office agents also harassed me at home during sensitive dates. I know that all these were caused by my attachment of fear.
Master said,
"Nobody can manipulate Dafa disciples who have righteous thoughts and righteous actions."(Fa-Lecture During the 2003 Lantern Festival at the U.S. West Fa Conference).
I had been detained for a long time, so I did not study the Fa enough. When I clarified the truth about Falun Gong, I had attachments of haste and fear, and the results were not good. When I resumed studying the Fa well, I understood that clarifying the truth to save sentient beings was the number one task and we needed truth-clarification materials to do it well. We had a limited number of materials production centers, so in 2003 I decided to set up one at my home with the support of my family members.
I had limited knowledge of how to use a computer, but I bought a computer and a printer and soon learned how to browse the Internet, download files and print. At the time, it was very hard to break through the Internet blockade, and some practitioners were afraid of getting on-line. With Master's strengthening, I got rid of my fear and took on the responsibility of uploading and downloading articles to and from the Clearwisdom website. I passed the persecution information to the website and wrote articles to expose the persecution. I also made truth-clarification materials for local distribution. Later several other materials production centers were set up. People who persecuted practitioners were exposed through our work. The 610 Office agents started to actively search for the materials production centers and destroyed several of them.
In 2004, many articles were coming in regarding the persecution of fellow practitioners. Since some practitioners could not operate a computer, while some others had to work, I devoted all of my time to publishing the information on the Clearwisdom website. In the process, I did not allocate enough time to study the Fa, and my human notions arose. Later I was arrested and sent to a labor camp again, and my computer and printer were confiscated. With Master's help, I soon walked out of the labor camp and set up a materials production center again. I also helped others to set up their own centers, so that we would have more centers in the area.
Making materials is also a process of cultivation, getting rid of human attachments and purifying oneself. Now I truly understand why Master always tells us to study the Fa more. Studying the Fa is a prerequisite for doing the three things well. Otherwise, we are just everyday people who do Dafa work.
Through studying the Fa and cultivating, I now have a pure heart when making truth-clarification materials, such as fliers, brochures, Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party booklets, and DVDs. I no longer have the attachment of doing things or the show-off mentality, and my attachment to fear is getting smaller. I work just to save sentient beings. I also do not have resentment when exposing the persecution, but act from compassion. Now almost every practitioner in our area has a computer, and many materials production centers are set up. With Master's protection, my center has been operating safely for several years.
4. Cultivating Oneself Well and Balancing Well Family Relationships
I have not been able to find a proper job due to the persecution, and my family environment became my cultivation environment. To balance family relationships well, one must cultivate oneself well and let go of human attachments. Every human attachment is a wall that stands in one's cultivation path.
After my release from the forced labor camp, I was faced with temptations for fame, profit, and sentimentality. I used to be very attached to having a perfect, happy family. My husband and I are both well-educated, and I was very envious when other people's children did well in school. I also had a strong attachment to vanity. Sometimes when an attachment that I least wanted to be triggered was touched upon, I really had the feeling of "A hundred hardships falling all at once" ("Tempering One's Heart and Will," Hong Yin)
"You will be made to abandon all those attachments that cannot be given up among everyday people. As long as you have them, all of those attachments must be removed in different environments. You will be made to stumble, whereby you will become enlightened to the Tao. This is how one goes through cultivation practice." (Zhuan Falun)
After over 10 years of cultivation, I now understand Master's words more deeply. Cultivation is truly serious, and every attachment is an obstacle to our cultivation and must be abandoned.
The first test I faced was my attachment to profit. As I had lost my well-paid job due to the persecution, I had to financially depend on my husband. With his small salary, we needed to support our living expenses, our children's education, help our elderly relatives with their living and medical expenses, and help other practitioners within the family who had also lost their jobs due to the persecution. My relatives had borrowed all of my savings while I was detained, and it took about seven or eight years for them to pay back the debt. Although we also needed money at that time, we had to resort to other means. I was not happy in my heart, but I did not express it.
During that period, I did all the household work and helped my children with their homework. As I also needed to do the three things well every day, I had little time to rest and was very busy and often tired. Some of my husband's relatives also came to work in the city and lived with us for a long time. My husband drank and played mahjong every day and came home late.
My son's school entrance examination was coming soon, and his teacher told me that he was not doing well in school--he talked during class and did not pay attention to the lectures. I came home and talked to my son, but he wouldn't listen to me. He did not complete his homework and often visited an Internet bar to play games after school. I could not let it go and reasoned with him with the attachment of complaint. Before the entrance examination, his teacher asked me to a parent-teacher conference again and told me to look for another path for my child and not let him take the entrance examination because that could negatively affect his chances for admission to a higher education school later on.
My relatives and friends blamed me for being a poor parent. They thought that my child didn't do well in school because I practiced Falun Gong and so didn't spend enough time taking care of my children, who also suffered mental pressure from their mother being persecuted. I tried hard to discipline myself with a cultivator's standard, let go of my human attachments and let them say what they liked. Although I said that my heart was not moved, what I was most afraid of was people asking me about how my children were doing in school. I often reminded myself not to be attached to these transient things in the human world. I told myself that I was fortunate in obtaining the Fa, that I should cultivate diligently, and that people all have their own fates.
Later, my husband started coming home even later, and his temper increased. One day a person told me that my husband was having an affair with a woman whom I used to know. This time, I could not take it anymore. The grievances, accumulated over many days, suddenly exploded like a volcano. My attachments to jealousy, hatred, saving face, and vanity emerged, and I started a fight with him.
At that point, I remembered Master's teaching, "Mentally overcoming tribulations is the key to truly improving one's level," and, "Some people are just obsessed with this place and have forgotten their own homes." (Zhuan Falun)
Why did I put so much emphasis on things in this world? I was a Dafa disciple who came to this world for Dafa and for helping Master with a grand mission of saving people. I used to think that I could let go of everything, including my life, for Dafa. I did not expect that I could not even let go of this bit of sentimentality. I felt really ashamed and realized that I must let it go. Through studying the Fa, however, I knew that I had not yet not let it go completely, as I was still strongly attached to love for parents, love for husband, and affection for brothers and sisters.
Master said, "If this sentimentality is not relinquished, you will be unable to practice cultivation." (Zhuan Falun)
I had memorized these words at the beginning of my practice and thought that I was already taking sentimentality lightly a long time ago. Now I realized that I needed to let go of my attachment to sentimentality from the root. All the suffering was caused by my attachments. What practitioners are doing is the most righteous. Our family members will get good returns upon our completion of cultivation.
For the past several years, I had put a major effort into making truth-clarification materials, to the point that I was too busy to sit down for a meal. I even thought that it was good that my husband did not come home for dinner since I could then do more work. Later I realized that my thoughts were selfish. I seldom showed concern for my husband and felt that we did not have much to talk about. I complained about his playing mahjong and we grew apart.
My deviated notions were taken advantage of by the evil, as I was trapped in sentimentality, did not cherish the cultivation path that I was on, and so was not able to upgrade my character. I was a being cultivating to high level, so how could I be harmed by the demon of sentimentality at a low level? I realized that I needed to eliminate it completely, as it was not me. The real me came for the Fa. I was a disciple that Master taught in person and a special life made by Dafa. How could I be moved by filthy things within the Three Realms? What I had not let go of among ordinary people was just what a cultivator must get rid of through cultivation. When I corrected my thinking according to Master's Fa, my mind became calm and clear like still water. When I came to understand these principles of the Fa, the interference from the evil disintegrated completely, and attachments of jealousy and hatred disappeared. It was Master who removed these filthy things from me.
When I no longer had these attachments, my environment also changed. Although my husband did not cultivate, he showed support for my Dafa work and never hesitated to give financial support for Dafa projects. When I explained the facts about Falun Gong to his friends, he often helped and said: "Quit quickly. I have already quit the CCP [Chinese Communist Party] with my real name." He also voluntarily persuaded others to quit the CCP. My son also became obedient. He made quick progress in his studies and was admitted to a relatively good middle school. He also started to diligently cultivate in Dafa.
Another very obvious problem in my cultivation manifested through xinxing tests during conflicts with my relatives who also cultivate in Dafa. I often argued over small things and exploded immediately upon hearing criticism from them. I wouldn't listen to what I did not want t hear and was always stuck firmly to my opinion. I believed that what I was enlightened to was correct, and since other fellow practitioners respected me, I could not take criticism from practitioners within my family, especially because I felt that their attitudes were not good.
I searched deeply inside of myself and found the attachment to affection among family members. I treated them as my family instead of as fellow practitioners. I thought that while I took so much care of them, instead of respecting me, they often criticized me. Wasn't that measuring things with ordinary people's criteria? Expecting to be treated well by those I treated well is an ordinary people's attachment of seeking reward.
Because of a habit formed over a long period of time, I also hoped to get good comments, praise, and respect from others, and I was very attached to fame. Being fond of listening to complimentary words involves attachment to fame and having a good reputation. In the past, I thought that as a cultivator, I should not let others speak badly about me, and I must conduct myself well. Now when I thought about it, I realized that others' praise and my doing well were two different things. When I conducted myself well and others still made bad comments, I did not like to listen, and when a fellow practitioner praised me that I cultivated well and had clear understanding of the Fa principles, I would be pleased with myself. These instances showed my attachment to fame.
After reading Master's article "Cultivators' Avoidances" (Essentials for Further Advancement), I became even more determined to completely let go of the attachments to fame, profit, and sentimentality, and to conduct myself well and not to be moved no matter what others said.
Once, my family member practitioners pointed out my shortcomings together, and I felt as if they were criticizing me. I understood clearly in my heart that it was a test, but I still felt very upset. I handled it alright on the surface: To prevent myself from losing my temper, I pretended that I needed to do something and left. After I came home, however, I lay on the bed feeling hurt. I kept telling myself that this was a good thing because I needed to let go of this bad attachment, and after a long time the pain subsided. I knew that my karma was eliminated and Master took away bad things from me, as my body felt so light. I truly thanked my family members for giving me a chance to upgrade myself. Since then, no matter how they criticize me, I can forbear it and my heart is not moved. When I am able to forbear, I don't feel that I suffer losses and become upset, instead I feel happy from my heart.
Another time, I sounded harsh and my family member practitioner yelled at me and drove me out of the house, even though they were living in my house. I was not moved and searched within. I saw that I was speaking with an attitude of complaint. I did not have a kind heart or the compassion of a cultivator. Instead, I was acting like an ordinary person.
Although I have improved a bit in this aspect, sometimes my heart is still moved. I'm still a long way from remaining unmoved no matter what happens according to Dafa's requirement.
5. Always Thinking about Saving Sentient Beings
In the past several years, I've always put doing the three things as my first priority. I overcame the attachments of fear and not wanting to socialize, and started to clarify the truth and persuade people to quit the CCP whenever I met them, such as when I went grocery shopping. After understanding the truth, most of them were willing to quit the CCP, and only a small number of people refused.
I also clarified the truth to my relatives. One couple visited me from Changchun City. The wife works as a director of a neighborhood association and her husband as an official at a prison. Even though they said that they understood that Falun Gong was good, they suggested that I give up my practice in order to avoid the persecution, and they both thought that carrying out the persecution against practitioners was just part of their work. Therefore, clarifying the truth to them was very difficult, and we subsequently went to their home to persuade them not to persecute Falun Gong. When we arrived at their apartment building, we saw that "Falun Dafa is good!" was written on the wall of the corridor on every floor. We gave them a truth-clarification DVD and sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate the evil behind them. We also told them that Falun Dafa was good and the CCP's persecution against Falun Gong was wrong, and that they should stop persecuting Falun Gong in order to ensure good futures for themselves.
The relative in charge of the neighborhood association told me that she had spilled a pot of hot soup on her feet shortly after she was assigned to monitor a local practitioner. I then told her about the principle of karmic retribution, and she began to better understand that it was a crime to persecute good people and that she should not do it anymore.
The relative who worked for a prison claimed that no practitioner was jailed in his prison. He listened to my words quietly without excessive resistance. I asked him to not persecute Falun Gong and he agreed.
In 2007, after the movement to withdraw from the CCP had spread, we went to Changchun City again to persuade this couple to resign from the CCP and its affiliated associations, and they both agreed. During this trip, more than 20 of our relatives were also saved.
My mother-in-law had lung disease and could not sleep for 8 consecutive days and nights. She knew that Falun Dafa was good and asked me to visit her. When I arrived, she could not lie down or sit but could only kneel by the side of the bed. I told her to sincerely recite "Falun Dafa is good!" and "Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good!" After a short period of reciting this in a loud voice, she could sit again. Later that day, she felt that she no longer needed the oxygen equipment, and then she could lie down again. She could walk on the second day and recovered completely on the third day. After witnessing this miracle, her husband was deeply moived. He started to clarify the truth to everyone he met and also gave me money to produce truth-clarification materials. My sister-in-law and aunts who witnessed this were also amazed by the miraculous power of Dafa. They finally understood why I was willing to give up my lucrative job as a university professor rather than give up practicing Falun Gong. As the news spread, people throughout the whole village learned that Falun Dafa is good. My parents-in-law's house became a temporary service center for quitting the CCP. Whenever I visit them, I always clarify the truth to the villagers. Within the past several years, truth-clarification materials have been delivered to almost every home in the village, and many people have resigned from the CCP. Currently, close to 100 of my relatives have resigned from the CCP and its affiliated organizations.
I've also clarified the truth to my former coworkers and classmates, friends, neighbors, and other people with predestined relationships. Many have understood that Falun Dafa is good and quit the CCP. Once, I clarified the truth to a friend of my husband. He was the Party Secretary of a local area and in charge of collecting annual fees and getting people to join the CCP. He agreed that Falun Dafa was good but was concerned about his job. Therefore, I told him that he could still perform his normal work but should avoid actively recruiting people into the Party. After a two-hour conversation, he agreed to resign from the CCP.
Because of the brutal persecution over the past years, I began to dislike policemen and was unwilling to clarify the truth to them. Instead of thinking of them as sentient beings to be saved, I rejected any contact with them. This was an attachment to discrimination. I treated the persecution as an ordinary human matter.
Master said,
"Let me tell you, every person in the entire world was at one point part of my family, including the worst people, or else they'd have no chance to be a human being during this time." ("Explaining the Fa During the 2003 Lantern Festival at the U.S. West Fa Conference")
Every person in the current world has predestined relationships with us. They all come for Dafa. I was really selfish to discriminate against anyone. After searching within, I also found my attachment to fear. I asked for Master's help to get rid of it and create opportunities for these people to be saved. Afterward, I found out that a policeman who used to come to my home to harass me, was monitoring local practitioners. Since I clarified the truth to him while he had been harassing me, I knew that he understood some facts about Falun Gong and knew that practitioners were good people. I sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate the evil forces behind him as I walked up to him. I let go of my attachment to fear and started to talk to him, and he agreed to quit the CCP. I understood that Master helped me again and saved another sentient being.
Right before the Beijing Olympics, I went to Beijing to send forth righteous thoughts in order to rescue a fellow practitioner. We went to the home of a policeman who was in charge of persecuting this practitioner to clarify the truth and request him to stop persecuting Falun Gong. Initially, he rejected all of our words. During the conversation, we learned that he had participated in arresting and persecuting practitioners and did not think what he did was wrong. Some of us started to compassionately tell him the results of the persecution, while the others sent forth righteous thoughts. Gradually, he started to listen to our truth clarifications and asked some questions. Although he did not resign from the CCP before we left, he stated that he would not persecute practitioners in the future. In the process of trying to rescue a fellow practitioner, I also let go of my attachments of selfishness and fear.
The above are my personal cultivation experiences. I still have many attachments that I need to let go, and we still have much to complete in a short amount of time. Many people in China know that Falun Dafa is good but have not yet resigned from the CCP. What we have done to date is far from enough.
