(Clearwisdom.net) I discovered that many practitioners are experiencing different degrees of hardship and interference. After it was eliminated and cleared out it appeared again. That is also the state I am in.
I previously felt that I was doing well with Fa study and sending righteous thoughts. When I sent righteous thoughts eight times per day without easing off, the interference was then not severe. If I missed one time, I quickly made up for it by extending the time of clearing myself, and all was fine. But one time when I was sending righteous thoughts at midnight before going to sleep, I suddenly remembered the time when I had just obtained the Fa. My insomnia disappeared, and so did my illnesses. I slept soundly until day broke and felt like my body was light and free of illness. I slept so comfortably. I thought about this and then slept until 5:00 a.m., making me late for my exercises.
I didn't expect that from this day forward a hardship would emerge that I wasn't able to control - I always wanted to sleep, and would no longer wait until the 10:00 p.m. sending righteous thoughts, but rather went to sleep after sending righteous thoughts at 9:00 p.m. At midnight I sent righteous thoughts but by the end my palm would slump without my noticing it. In the morning I couldn't get up in time. My alarm clock sounded at 3:30 a.m., and I would look at my watch, close my eyes and go back to sleep. This state persisted for nine days, and the more I slept the harder it became. I encountered interference when sending righteous thoughts and studying the Fa. My face also lost color. I knew that I couldn't go on like this. One time in the afternoon I napped for an hour, whereas before I would always lie down for ten or twenty minutes without sleeping. When I awoke I was very tired, dizzy and light-headed, sleepier than if I had not slept. I thought I should study the Fa, but when I lifted the book I became tired, my vision became blurry, and I was unable to keep my eyes open. I suddenly discovered that there was a hand placed on my head, and it was interference from the old forces. I immediately sent righteous thoughts to clear out all the evil factors that were obstructing me from studying the Fa and doing the exercises. That one thought cleared out all of the rotten factors, and I felt a kind of substance rushing out of my body. I picked up the book and the black characters on white paper were clear and bright, my eyes were not heavy, and I felt very good. I thanked Teacher for his protection. Teacher's generosity simply cannot be repaid.
A few days passed and then I again started to feel tired. It wasn't as strong as the previous time but I wasn't able to concentrate while studying the Fa. I cleared it out but it returned, and I couldn't clear it out completely. Through studying "Stirred by Reflection" and "Be More Diligent" I enlightened that our cultivation is nearing the point where consummation and Fa-Rectification are moving in sync. This is the twilight period, and opportunities to cultivate away human concepts and habits are put right in front of us. How can we cling to human concepts and still become gods? When thought karma is cleared out, we only need to have a slight thought and it is produced again. If we don't completely clear it out, a single thought can give it more energy.
Previously I would return home, tired from work, and want to lie down to rest a little. But I reconsidered lying down because I knew that the longer I lay there, the more tired I would become, and the harder it would be to recover. I grit my teeth and studied the Fa or did the exercises, and after an hour or so my whole body felt relaxed and rejuvenated, and I didn't fall behind on any housework. This great Dafa, which created all life and contains the greatness of the whole universe, was given to us by Teacher. We absolutely can't let Teacher down. Starting today we must be diligent, cultivate away the human heart and walk towards godhood.
With guidance from Teacher's Fa, I started to discipline myself. I didn't sleep in the middle of the day, and in the morning I made no excuses for remaining in bed. When I awoke I got up immediately and did the exercises. I sent righteous thoughts more, and added an extra two times in the morning and afternoon. I went out for an extra two hours encouraging people to do the three withdrawals and clarifying the truth, and in the evening I sent righteous thoughts at 7:00 p.m., 8:00 p.m., 9:00 p.m. and 10:00 p.m. After sending righteous thoughts I transcribed the Fa until the next session. Sometimes I started getting tired after 8:00 p.m., so I memorized Teacher's poems, Hong Yin, and immediately I found I was no longer tired. When tired I had trouble memorizing, so I focused more and eventually overcame the tiredness. I cultivated away the habit of lying down when I didn't have other things to do. We're cultivators, and should happily meditate and do the exercises. We shouldn't lie down. I discovered that when I awoke before the alarm sounded, I didn't feel tired, regardless of whether it was 1:30 a.m. or 2:30 a.m. But as soon as I thought to myself, "I can sleep a little longer," I then became very sleepy when the alarm sounded, so tired that I could hardly get myself out of bed. If I think, "I can sleep a little longer," this thought adds energy to thought karma. So when I ran into this situation again I didn't sleep, but rather transcribed the Fa until the alarm rang for me to do the exercises. This situation came about many times. I think that thought karma is produced by our intent, and our thoughts make it stronger, so we should do our utmost not to think. I gritted my teeth and persisted this way for seven or eight days, and found that it became easier. I was able to get up. It is truly the case that a strong will has to be cultivated.
I now feel that the time I spend sleeping is just right. We are cultivators, not everyday people, and if we sleep more, we will meet with more hardship, contrary to our expectations. Especially now in the afternoons, I don't feel sleepy and don't want to sleep. It is very comfortable not to sleep. Once I sleep, regardless if it is half an hour or an hour, I feel like I can't fully wake up, and I remain dizzy and tired. My appearance also becomes tired-looking and I feel like I have skipped doing the exercises. One afternoon after sending righteous thoughts I couldn't think of anything to do, so I thought I could take a short rest. I intended to lie down for five or ten minutes, but when I awoke I discovered I had slept for 20 minutes. I could hear several demons saying, "Why did she awaken so quickly? We tried so hard..." Then the sound faded as they moved away. I think it is no use to take 20 minute naps, it leaves me tired and uncomfortable. In the past few days I have developed this habit. I think it is not right for us to exercise less. It is fine to sleep for three or four hours, and it is not right to sleep more. Of course, this is only my own state at this point in time.
