(Clearwisdom.net) I started practicing Falun Gong in 1996. After July 20, 1999, when the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) started persecuting Falun Gong, my cultivation environment at home was ruined. My husband believed completely the CCP's propaganda against Falun Gong and did not allow me to continue cultivation.
I was retired then. Besides doing housework, I just studied the Fa and did the exercises. However, I could only do the exercises when my husband went to work. After I was persecuted by the CCP, he hated Dafa and Teacher even more. When he insulted Dafa and Teacher, the pain I felt in my heart was indescribable. I even thought of divorcing him. Then I thought my situation over and said to myself, "If I do that, I will give the evil an excuse so that the CCP will spread the rumor that Dafa practitioners do not care about their families." So I just tried to forbear my situation and explain the truth to him. But not only did he not listen to me or read the materials, but he also scolded me when I bought up the topic of Dafa. He also destroyed many Dafa books and truth clarification materials once he found them.
Though under many pressures, I have persisted in my cultivation for the past nine years. I didn't understand much Fa during the first several years. I only thought that I was in such a bad environment because I didn't cultivate myself well. This situation lasted until 2008, when a practitioner told me that her husband once held a knife to her neck and demanded that she stop cultivating Dafa. But she maintained her righteous thoughts and righteous actions, continuously sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate the meddlesome demons behind him, and eventually he changed.
I then looked deeply inwards and realized that I had only resentment toward my husband, but not the benevolence a cultivator should have. I didn't have "a compassion that can melt steel" ("Explaining the Fa During the 2003 Lantern Festival at the U.S. West Fa Conference"). I should treat him first as a sentient being and use my benevolence to save him.
I started sending forth righteous thoughts to eliminate all the evil lives and material that controlled him and led him to hate Dafa and Teacher. After a while, I found that he was no longer as wicked as before. Then I started telling him the miraculous stories of Dafa and the fact that Dafa is saving people, including our daughter who he really loves. She had many minor diseases when she was in college; I encouraged her to practice Falun Gong, and eventually all her diseases were gone. When my husband heard this, he didn't say a word. He was completely different from before when he used to curse immediately after hearing me talk about Dafa.
His life was completely changed in the fall of 2008. He had diarrhea for two days. Neither of us paid much attention to this sickness at first. However, he started feeling dizzy and sweating a lot on the second day. He could hardly go up the stairs. Having not seen him this sick ever before, I felt it was severe for him. He was put on an IV for two days at the hospital, but it didn't help. He no longer had strength. The blood test showed that he had a very low hemoglobin level. The doctor urged us to go to a larger hospital for a complete checkup. Seeing his colorless face and extreme weakness, I was calm. As a cultivator with many years of cultivation experience, I knew what this illness meant to a person who had committed severe crimes against Dafa. He was experiencing retribution.
Later he went to a large hospital for a blood test and the result was critical. He was asked to stay in the hospital. I saw him on tenterhooks, insecure and weak, and I felt the great fear of death and a deep cherishing for the life of a person who once said he feared nothing. Two friends told him that he would be fine and didn't need to rush to the hospital. Then he temporarily lost his anxiety and didn't go to the hospital. But actually his illness was very severe. He had not only severe anemia, but his liver area was swollen. I didn't panic throughout the whole ordeal.
When we returned home, I told him calmly, "Please study the Fa. Let go of all your prejudice and resistance. As long as you believe in Dafa, Teacher will save you." I started to read Zhuan Falun to him. He was very weak and had great pain, so he could not listen. Then I gave him the mp3 of Teacher's Fa lectures, asking him to listen while in bed. His eagerness to get well made him not refuse my offer.
Later I said to him, "If you want to be saved, you need to first apologize and acknowledge your crime to Teacher and announce that you will withdraw from the evil Chinese Communist Party. Once you apologize and withdraw from the CCP, all your crimes against Dafa will belong to the evil CCP, not to you, because you committed them based on the CCP's lies." He believed what I said. Also, fellow practitioners came to my home to tell him the reasons and importance of withdrawing from the CCP. He then wrote his announcement withdrawing from the CCP and its affiliated organizations.
During one weekend, he watched the DVDs of Shen Yun Performing Arts and the Tianyin orchestra. He understood that Dafa was persecuted by the CCP. He was deeply moved in his heart. Then on Sunday, he was able to go downstairs. His dizziness symptoms were greatly reduced. On Monday, he was able to go to work. Later he watched Teacher's Fa lecture video and recovered very quickly. Since then, he has been studying the Fa and doing the exercises every day.
Seeing my husband's big change, my heart was deeply moved by Teacher's enormous benevolence. Although my husband committed a serious crime against Teacher and Dafa, when he was about to die to pay back for his wrongdoing, Teacher still gave him a chance, saved him in two days, and then took him into the door of cultivation. All I can say is, "Teacher's graciousness is enormous and powerful!"
I think that during my years of cultivation, what I lacked was benevolence for sentient beings. I didn't pay much attention to this shortcoming for many years. Teacher's enormous benevolence to an everyday person made me understand that we need to maintain a benevolent heart toward sentient beings and use our hearts to clarify the truth and save them. "Do this compassionately no matter who it is, and with a compassion that can melt steel you'll be able to do it well." ("Explaining the Fa During the 2003 Lantern Festival at the U.S. West Fa Conference")
I hope that when dealing with family members like my husband, fellow practitioners will use a cultivator's benevolence to help them, don't easily give up on them, and try their best to let them understand the truth and be saved by Dafa.
Original Article: October 13, 2009
