(Clearwisdom.net) Seven years ago I left home to avoid persecution and have suffered a great deal during that time. The prospect of being unable to survive always made me panicked and made my heart heavy. This was especially true as I became older. It has become increasingly difficult to find a job. Running my own business was also not successful. I often had doubts about what I should do after my savings were used up, and I was very worried about how I would live then. As time went on, this fear had become increasingly more severe. Although I had tried hard to recite the Fa and send righteous thoughts, I was fundamentally unable to eliminate this fear. I often imagined what I should do if I no longer had a home to live in, or if I had no food to eat, a worry that became particularly pronounced when I was alone. The helpless feeling, that I would be unable to survive in the secular world during lonely times, continued to get worse.
Recently, when reading Master's article "The Closer to the End, the More Diligent You Should Be," the following words made an impact on me:
"But in reality, what human society takes to be truths are, from the perspective of the cosmos, inversions of truth; when humans go through hardship and suffer it is so that they may pay off karma and thereby have happiness in the future. A cultivator thus needs to cultivate by correct and upright truths. Going through hardship and suffering is an outstanding opportunity to remove karma, be cleansed of sin, purify the body, elevate your plane of thought, and rise in level--it's an extraordinarily good thing. This is a correct and upright Fa-truth."
I suddenly awakened and realized that the anxiety I had deep down in me for years arose from my fear of having to endure hardships. My ego wanted me to seek a happy life, a desire that had formed over the many years of my life; it was this that had prevented me from enduring hardships and thus prevented me from eliminating karma. So, the one who was in a panic was not the real me; it was my notion that was attached to the inverted truths in the human world, fearing it could not survive, hindering and blocking me from understanding the righteous truths.
I was fortunate during this last phase of Fa-rectification, with Master's benevolent guidance, I have finally understood this level of Fa principles, and have seen my deeply-rooted desire for human comfort, leisure, and happiness. The cloud has vanished from the depth of my heart, and I feel my whole dimensional field becoming pure and bright.
I am Master's Dafa disciple, and I am walking toward divinity under Master's protection. I am fulfilling my prehistoric oath by doing the three things. As Master had told us, He uses all the hardships as an opportunity for us to "remove karma, be cleansed of sin, purify the body, elevate your plane of thought, and rise in level." ("The Closer to the End, the More Diligent You Should Be")
I then often remind myself that I should cultivate according to the righteous Fa principles. As soon as I notice the feeling of panic, worry, loneliness, or similar feelings, I caution myself, "This is not me." I am a Dafa disciple. I should act in accordance with Master's requirements. All the hardships are good things for me, as Master teaches us. I should think about those sentient beings who are still awaiting salvation. The suffering they are facing is dreadful. This has made me feel even more the great responsibility that I have shouldered. Considered as such, the suffering that I have experienced becomes trivial.
I can feel Master's compassion and smile when I undergo any tribulation or suffering, or test. I have deeply felt the happiness of being tempered in Dafa.
Heshi to Master!
September 19, 2008
