(Clearwisdom.net)
Greetings to our respected Master! Greetings fellow practitioners!
In the last six months, Master often mentioned solemnly during lectures about a common attachment, that Dafa disciples disliked being criticized and could not accept criticism. For instance, Master pointed out directly,
"The most noticeable and biggest problem, which has gone unresolved for a long time, is also what the gods have been muttering in my ears, something that troubles them the most. [...] What is it, then? When Dafa disciples make mistakes, they do not like to be criticized. No one can criticize them, and when someone does, it sets them off. When they are right, they don't like others bringing up things they could improve on; when they are wrong, they don't want to be criticized. They get upset as soon as others criticize. The problem is becoming pretty bad." ("Teaching the Fa in the City of Los Angeles")
Cultivators should be calm and harmonious, how could they become so explosive, "one stroke and they ignite"? Many practitioners are astonished that this problem has severely effected their cultivation. How to eliminate this attachment and start to do it correctly has become a great lesson for Dafa disciples currently. Actually from the traditional Chinese culture, we learn that "honest advice is unpleasant to the ears," "accept constructive criticism," "Zi-lou was glad to learn about his mistakes," "the heart of a prime minister is broad enough to contain a boat," etc. It also means that even ordinary people take seriously being broad-minded and able to accept different opinions. If we cannot even eliminate that attachment, just like Master said in Lecture Four of Zhuan Falun, "If you outdo him, you are even worse than that ordinary person."
Master said,
"Cultivation is about looking inside yourself. Whether you are right or wrong, you should examine yourself. Cultivation is about getting rid of human attachments. If you always reject reproaches and criticism, always point your fingers at others, and always refute others' disapproval and criticism, is that cultivating? How is that cultivating?" ("Teaching the Fa in the City of Los Angeles")
Every time I read the recent teachings from Master, I am so embarrassed. For the last seven years, this attachment has showed up often. I too, have noticed this problem, but have not taken it seriously, and now I turn that into Master's concern.
A Profound Lesson
Once I heard a sharing from a practitioner during a Fa study. I repeatedly argued with him, simply because I did not agree with his understanding. And he did the same. Consequently we went on and on which made a new practitioner leave early because the atmosphere was so unharmonious. During a sharing conference, I accidentally learned that the new practitioner failed to come to the Fa study for several months because of my insistence on my own ideas and being right. My attachment became a divisive factor among practitioners, and created a loophole for the evil beings. I always tried to avoid conflicts. I did not like to admit my mistakes and was not willing to face the truth, and refused to correct my behavior. Frankly, they are all from my fear of losing face.
In June 2006, with 37 practitioners in Taiwan, I went to Russia and Iceland and sent forth righteous thoughts in close proximity. When we arrived in St. Petersburg, I started to argue with a practitioner strongly. The next day, even with another practitioner’s kind advice, I was still very stubborn in holding on to my own ideas and defending my selfish heart, which brought severe damage to the entire group without notice. I did not maintain my xinxing, which also reflected in the following few days. I was unable to study the Fa calmly and also suffered excruciating pain during my meditation. I looked inward and found my attachments: I wanted to accomplish the goal quickly – eliminating the head of the evil earlier. I was also very competitive and felt superior. On the surface, I appeared to be very diligent, and never failed to send righteous thoughts. Sometimes, I even stayed up all night, however, my xinxing had already dropped. I often blamed others and forced my extreme viewpoints onto others. I was severely interfered with by the evil forces. After I discovered my shortcomings, I apologized to that practitioner and everyone else, and expressed my regrets for destroying the righteous field.
Searching for the Root of the Attachment
This profound lesson explains clearly that the attachment of "disliking criticism" is very deeply rooted in me. What is the reason that I dislike criticism? I tried to dig it out, and the deeper I dug, the more I understood that selfishness and the notions that form in the postnatal environment through defending oneself were the fundamental causes for lives dropping level after level. For example, I had very good grades in school since I was little, and was an excellent student in my teacher's eyes. I always heard compliments and had strong self-esteem. Therefore I was unwilling to hear criticism. Whenever I heard criticism, I became very unhappy and I thought that I had just lost my pride.
When I got older, I attended the best high school and medical school. I had always been the top student in the class, and became vain and arrogant. I thought that I was better than everyone else. If there were compliments, I took them for granted. If there was criticism, I refused to listen to it. After my graduation, I had a dental clinic. Every day, I dealt with patients, and I thought I was a medical expert. Slowly this mentality extended to my daily life. I convinced myself that I was always right. I did not want to listen to the opinions of others, nor could I understand others, let alone be broad-minded. I often put on an air that I would always win in arguments.
After I started practicing Faun Dafa, my attachment worsened, but I covered it up much better. When fellow practitioners corrected my exercises, I would not listen to them at all. When the editors changed or modified my articles, I was very unhappy. When my suggestions were not adopted by others, I complained outwardly and inwardly. For many years, my coordinating work became heavier and heavier, including doing Fa study, taking tours abroad, coordinating group projects, and sharing conferences, etc. My attachment of disliking any criticism became more apparent in coordinating and discussing. I turned into an ordinary person. I was very competitive and failed to accept suggestions humbly. Sometimes, I acted like I accepted ideas from others, but then behaved like the same old me. Afterwards, if things turned out to be all right, I would be delighted and this reinforced my own attachment. Year after year, this mentality naturally became part of me. It became very microscopically rooted, and it was unrecognizable even after many years of cultivation.
Eliminating the Attachment of Disliking Criticism
How do eliminate the attachment of disliking criticism then? I believe there are three things that are essential. Studying the Fa and sending forth righteous thoughts, sharing with fellow practitioners, and creating an environment for looking inward. Master said,
"If you took a look in the extreme microcosm at the material formed by what your mind is attached to, [you'd see that] they are mountains, huge mountains, made of hard, granite-like rock..."
"I've told you to study the Fa a lot, to study the Fa, study the Fa, study the Fa... When you don't give weight to Fa-study, those things are bound to be indulged."
("Teaching the Fa at the 2004 Chicago Conference")
We all know that the Fa can break through all attachments, and it's crucial that we solidly study the Fa.
In reality, one's pride and dislike of criticism are not one's own true nature, but thought karma from human notions. Therefore, after sending forth righteous thoughts to cleanse our energy field and eliminating those bad human notions and karma, we can then distinguish our true selves from the false selves, and thus dissolve the hard rock of attachments.
For a long time I had two shortcomings. During every meeting, I often liked to talk a lot. If I disliked the contents of a fellow practitioner's ideas, I immediately interrupted him and refused to let him continue. I always thought what I did was right, and I could only see the shortcomings of others and not my own. When I found out the obvious mistakes of another practitioner, I was afraid to tell him, or was embarrassed to point them out. Later I would ask a third party to inform him. On the surface, every one seemed to be getting along well. The conflicts, however, were hiding in a deeper place. The barriers among practitioners can make evil forces easy to take advantage. As a matter of fact, to be responsible for the Fa and the elevation of the whole body, I should be able to tell him in a kindly manner.
Master said,
"If you were all one big harmonious group, everything was really calm and just fine with all of you, no one upset anyone else, and everyone was making others happy, then that would be bad, (audience laughs) it really would be, for you couldn't cultivate then. If nobody's antagonism came to the surface and you couldn't help each other improve, then it wouldn't be a cultivation group. What differentiates us most from ordinary people is, when conflicts and tensions arise, we are able to examine ourselves." ("Teaching the Fa at the 2004 International Fa Conference in New York")
"Observing Oneself, Searching Inward Oneself, and Cultivating Oneself"
Recently, I realized that whether I am truly cultivating myself or not depends on whether I can "observe myself, search inward myself, and cultivate myself." Can I become broad-minded? If I see something is lacking, can I quietly make up for it? Even if I cannot make suggestions, I should be able to have righteous thoughts and help to extend our righteous field. Let's manifest our boundless compassion, be kind to our fellow practitioners, create an environment of looking inward together, supplement each other, and finally elevate as a whole body.
After I came back from the Fa conference in Canada this May, during a Fa study group, two practitioners pointed out my mistakes individually. I was surely embarrassed. I immediately calmed down, and I recognized my attachment and "nipped it in the bud." However, I was a little disturbed. At least I had made progress. We have Master and the Fa with us. I believe that I will continue to make progress and eliminate my attachment very soon.
After I finished this sharing paper, my wife told me not to write any more sharing papers, and that I should let fellow practitioners have the opportunities. After I heard her comment, although I felt further discussion may be necessary, I nodded my head in agreement with her. I told her that I did not feel any conflict and I believed that I had risen to a higher level.
Before I finish my sharing, please let me read a paragraphs from Master’s Chicago lecture in 2004, and use those words to encourage all of us.
"It's fine to have those human things--when you are able to restrain them in your actions, strengthen your resolve, firm up your righteous thoughts, and handle yourself well, then that's cultivation." ("Teaching the Fa at the 2004 Chicago Conference")
The above is my sharing for today, please kindly point out anything improper.
Thank you, Master!
Thank all of you, my fellow practitioners!