(Clearwisdom.net)
The true test for me -- eliminating my attachment to fame and self -interest
I have been cultivating Falun Dafa for nine years and am regarded as a veteran practitioner. Every time I studied Master's article "True Cultivation" (from Essentials for Further Advancement), I felt I could recite the article fluently and that I understood it deeply. I thought it would not be difficult if I encountered any tests of fame, self-interest, or qing because these were not at all important in my mind. However, I realized last year that I didn't completely get rid of these attachments. In the effort to cultivate my heart, I truly felt how important Master's words "Cultivation is serious."(" Determination and Solidity" in Essentials for Further Advancement)
Last year I participated in the qualification exams for "senior accountant." At that time I had heard from my colleagues that it involved only one month of training and study, and that it would maximally take two months to prepare for the exams. I felt it would affect my Fa study and truth-clarification. However, fellow practitioners shared with me that a practitioner should maximally conform to ordinary human society. I also held such thinking. Moreover, my family depended mainly on my income. Nowadays, the competition is so intense and I have grown older. If I didn't work harder, one day I might lose my job. Therefore, I decided to participate in the exams.
I hadn't studied any specialized knowledge in the field for nearly ten years. I did not think I was very talented; therefore, I studied very strenuously. I was also very busy at work. Therefore my studying for the exam occupied a lot of my Fa-study time, and I unconsciously deviated from the Fa. I also didn't do well in the specialized knowledge study. At the same time, my colleagues started to not cooperate with me. Therefore, I encountered many pressures from my work as well. I began to complain in my mind.
In the end, I didn't do well on the exam of the specialized knowledge while others did very well. Even my good friend felt surprised and said, "I feel that you worked very hard. How did you get such a low grade?" I felt very uncomfortable. After studying the Fa seriously, I realized I indeed did very poorly. Master said in His "Lecture at the Conference in New Zealand,"
"They know that as students, they should study hard and naturally they'll do well. As long as they study hard and completes their tasks, they'll be admitted to an elite school or college. It's not achieved through being attached to elite schools and colleges, or attached to high scores. I often say this: When people have the intention of doing something or want to obtain something, the result is often quite the opposite; when you only think about how to do well you will naturally obtain it."
Master said it so clearly. Why did I still make such a mistake? I indeed got attached to the exam results. I left less time for Fa-study and let fellow practitioners do more of my truth-clarifying work. Obviously, I didn't listen to Master, did I? After I realized it, I put down my mentality and participated in the remaining qualification exams. I studied the Fa harder and didn't allow the exams to affect my truth-clarifying work. I smoothly passed the two exams. Now, I am no longer attached to the final qualification results.
Safety comes from Fa-study and firmly believing in Dafa
During the frenzied persecution, we initially felt we were in a lost state, and we gradually got on the path of Fa-rectification cultivation with reason and clarity. Whenever Master published a new article, I studied it repeatedly. I realized being a Fa-rectification period Dafa disciple is a sacred honor that Master bestowed on me. I intended to do my best to fulfill my mission and to be a qualified Fa-rectification period Dafa disciple.
Whenever the police claimed that a sensitive period was forthcoming, which meant practitioners would be arrested, fellow practitioners would advise each other to gather Dafa books and truth-clarifying materials at home and hide them for a while. For quite a long period of time, whenever the situation was tense, practitioners would stop clarifying the truth and stay at home to study the Fa and send righteous thoughts. The thinking was that if the police came, they would not find anything and therefore might not persecute us. However, the bad news still came, such as a practitioner's home was searched or he was arrested. After the "sensitive period" passed, fellow practitioners would ask for the truth-clarifying materials again. I often thought, "What would a divine being do upon encountering such a situation? Have we thought about those fellow practitioners who worked at the sites to supply truth-clarifying materials? What do they do? How about those machines that produce the truth-clarifying materials? Where are they hidden?"
Through studying the Fa and reading the experience sharing articles on the Minghui website, I further realized that, in fact, practitioners' safety is not achieved through any methods in the ordinary world (of course, we should not go extremes and neglect security). Instead, safety is achieved through solid Fa-study and cultivation, through the effort of doing the three things, through firmly believing in Master and Dafa and strictly requiring oneself to adhere to the Fa standards in every circumstance.
Cooperating as a whole entity is especially important
The behind-the-scenes dark minions and rotten ghosts have been destroyed in large numbers. However, practitioners in the city where I live have still continued to suffer persecution. Although some practitioners were not arrested and didn't suffer persecution directly, "sickness karma" took away their lives. Some practitioners were directly persecuted because of their distributing truth-clarifying materials or clarifying the truth. Others experienced interference from their families. Facing such situations, some practitioners felt they had no alternatives.
My family is in a very good situation, and my husband treats me very well. He has righteous thoughts about Dafa and helps me with truth-clarifying materials, which saves me a lot of time. During a classmate gathering in April, he had a good chat with a female classmate whom he used to like. This made him very happy and he couldn't help but think about her for a while. Although he did not act to betray our marriage, he fell into feelings for her and was unable to get out. After he told me about the matter, I patiently talked with him from different viewpoints. Both of them had their own families and children. We were no longer young. We should not do anything to harm others because of our own fragile feelings. I also told him that, if this went further and bad things happened, it would bring karma to him and damage his future.
He was moved by my words and asked me to give him more time to deal with the issue. I shared the incident with fellow practitioners. A fellow practitioner shared her thoughts and her own experiences. It was the evil and rotten ghosts behind-the-scenes who tried to prevent us from fulfilling our mission to clarify the truth and save sentient beings. I also realized the true face of the behind-the-scenes dark minions. I did not complain to my husband or hate him. I treated it very lightly in my mind. Just at that time, that female classmate suddenly had a reason to move out of the city. Now my husband is able to handle those feelings reasonably. The continuation of our truth-clarifying materials work was not affected at all.
In my city, everyone does the three things as individuals, and we haven't acted together as a whole. If a practitioner is persecuted, the rescue progresses very slowly and the effect is not very good. Because of this, many practitioners have suffered persecution. The evil has used different means and has started with each practitioner's weakest point.
Now we encourage each other to study the Fa more and we form study groups if the circumstances allow it. If we do well as a whole, the situation will change. I believe that, with our improvement as a whole, we will be more reasonable and clear in our cultivation. As long as the Fa-rectification continues, we will have opportunities to do well and to fulfill our sacred mission as Dafa disciples - clarifying the truth and saving sentient beings.
December 24, 2005
