(Clearwisdom.net) While reading the diaries that I wrote two years ago, I suddenly realized that old problems such as being fond of play, food and sleep, and fond of women, and a new problem - fear of my boss - remained. Finally, I figured out that the reason for these problems was my indecision about whether or not to become a genuine cultivator of Falun Dafa.
A human being's desires and enjoyments conflict with cultivation. When you determine to cultivate, you must let go of those desires and be willing to endure hardships. This is a question of choice, the choice to be either an ordinary person or a cultivator. My problems appeared repeatedly because during the past two years I have not made a conscious choice and hesitated choosing what I want to be. Unless I decide to genuinely cultivate, I can never resolve this dilemma.
Have I solved these problems? Yes, I did, because I finally realized that letting go of these attachments, like it or not, is a question of choice, the choice between being an ordinary person and a practitioner. If one chooses to let go and cultivate, the attachments will leave.
