(Clearwisdom.net) I am a practitioner who came out late to clarify the truth about Falun Gong. Because I did not let go of my fundamental attachments and because of fear, I seldom did anything to validate Dafa. Fortunately, guided by Master's compassion, I finally became determined to continue my path of cultivation and started to strive forward. The following is my experience to share with fellow practitioners.
After I started to cultivate diligently, I reviewed my progress: First, I did study the Fa a lot, but I studied the Fa with my attachments, so the Fa did not manifest itself to me. I also did not learn the Fa by heart because of too many postnatally formed notions and too much thought karma. So whenever I had time, I would study the Fa and memorize it. If I did not memorize it, I would write it down, so that I could gradually come to see the Fa principles that would guide my cultivation and actions to validate the Fa. I progressed very quickly while doing this. Master has helped me to almost completely overcome jealousy, competitiveness, showing off and complacency.
After a while though, I had to deal with interference. I could not get up early and send forth righteous thoughts, and I did not always do the exercises. I did not have a breakthrough for a long time, and I was very anxious. I started becoming apathetic, and my cultivation felt like a trivial task. I look back on this period and see that my attachments were hidden very deeply.
Different from other practices that cultivate the subordinate soul, Master left some human attachments for us so that we can live, work and validate the Fa in this world. These human attachments are sometimes quite bad. At first, whenever these attachments surfaced, I was very clearheaded and able to suppress them. Later during the Fa rectification period, I did not pay enough attention to them.
For example, I studied the Fa a lot, but with the deeply hidden attachment of fear. Because I was afraid of being persecuted, I studied the Fa with the intention of gaining Master's protection. When selecting truth clarification material, I liked to read the articles with more human knowledge. I had the attachment to knowledge and fame in the back of my mind. Also, I had the attachment of competitiveness when I clarified the truth to others face to face. If they did not accept my opinion, I would be irritated and unhappy. I hated the people who were deceived by the CCP's propaganda and who helped the CCP to persecute Falun Gong practitioners. So the effect of my truth clarification face to face was not good.
No matter how these attachments surface, we need to see them clearly and remove them according to the Fa. As Master said in the article "Further Understanding": "If you are able to succeed in improving yourself this way, what you do then, with a pure heart, will be the best and most sacred." ("Further Understanding" in Essentials for Further Advancement)
I think that practitioners who came out late to clarify the truth should pay special attention to Fa study and sending forth righteous thoughts. We are not participating in activities of a human organization--we are saving people! Practitioners can walk on the upright path when they study the Fa well.
April 13, 2005
