(Clearwisdom.net) On our paths of cultivation, if we use everyday people's notions during our Fa-rectification efforts and cultivation, we will stumble. If we study the Fa calmly and try to meet the standard of a true cultivator, we will steadily walk our paths. I started practicing Falun Gong in 1996. During the past nine years, I have learned many lessons. During the period of personal cultivation prior to the persecution, I had many ordinary human attachments. Even though I appeared to be cultivating, I wasn't truly cultivating. Initially, during the Fa-rectification period, I was not rational and had attachments to fear and pursuit. These factors prevented me from doing the Three Things well. Fortunately, our benevolent Teacher has repeatedly given me opportunities to catch up with the Fa-rectification.
During the Fa-rectification period, my biggest shortcoming was not being able to clarify the truth rationally and clear-headedly. I made the same or similar mistakes over and over again. In 2001, when the persecution was at its peak, at the company where I worked, I created a personal email account using the human resource department's computer to enable my coworkers to read Dafa materials. However, I was forced to resign from my job because I had given the evil an excuse to persecute me. This led to great difficulties in my personal life.
In Teacher's latest articles, Teacher has asked us to take every opportunity to clarify the truth to people. Sometimes when I read this, I felt the urgency and became irritable. Sometimes I would tell people all of my understandings of Dafa based on insights reached in my cultivation, regardless of their ability to accept what I was saying. In addition, after I lost my job, I had an attachment about myself when I clarified the truth -- I always emphasized that there is nothing wrong with my practicing Falun Gong. So, I was validating myself instead of using the opportunity to save sentient beings. Not until I read Teacher's words regarding this issue did I realize that I had caused losses to Dafa.
When I truly clarify the truth to people based on the foundation of wanting to save people, I am able to pay attention to their ability to accept what I am saying. In this state, I avoid arguing and I maintain righteous thoughts and a cultivator's compassion. The results improved significantly. My wife used to threaten me with divorce, trying to force me to give up the practice. Now, she speaks well of Dafa, even under pressure. She has also read Zhuan Falun and learned the first set of exercises. Many of my friends, colleagues and family members used to be against Dafa, but now they will tell me that there is nothing wrong with practicing Falun Gong and that I should just be careful. They also became aware of the evilness of the Chinese Communist Party. I enlightened to the understanding that when I am really doing the three things according to the requirements of the Fa, the power of the Fa manifests.
Moreover, I fully understood the historical mission I have, to spread the truth widely and save sentient beings. However, the attachment to fear still affected me. When I was posting truth-clarification flyers by myself, I felt that there were many evil eyes staring at me even though no one paid attention to me. Sometimes I felt my heart beat extremely fast. So, what was sacred became less sacred. Sometimes, I had many notions, making me afraid of clarifying the truth face-to-face, and I thus lost opportunities to save people. After I understood the Fa more deeply, I realized that those are the notions that I developed during my life. They are just attachments that exist on the superficial level. If I have stronger righteous thoughts, they are easy to get rid of.
It is not easy to discover attachments that are deeply hidden if one does not pay close attention. As a cultivator, I understand the real purpose of life, and I know I must abide by the standard of Truthfulness, Compassion and Tolerance in daily life. Therefore, I should able to be tolerant when there is a conflict at work or at home. But I have some fundamental attachments that I have not gotten rid of, so my tolerance was based on apprehension much of the time. I endured because of fear. Sometimes, I endured the loss of my own small interests out of the fear of losing more personal interests later on. Sometimes I endured because I wanted to protect my image as a cultivator. I was not enduring with an open and calm state of mind.
During my cultivation, I realized that I have always had a fundamental attachment. When I was able to study the Fa calmly, I could do better in clarifying the truth. When I studied the Fa less, I was easily affected by everyday matters. As a result, I did not do so well when clarifying the truth and sending forth righteous thoughts. When I saw other practitioners doing well, I became hasty. Why is that? Being able to do the three things consistently is a requirement for Fa-rectification period disciples. I also know that everything is encompassed in doing the three things. After thinking carefully, I realized that I was afraid that I could not keep up with the Fa-rectification and thus could not improve enough to reach consummation. To get rid of attachments for the sake of reaching consummation is also an attachment in itself. I must use every opportunity during the last leg of my cultivation to rid myself of all attachments.
Therefore, we must strengthen our will to eliminate the attachments that we are aware of. Even if we cannot get rid of them right away, we must not let these attachments affect us. As long as we persist, we will able to get rid of them. Teacher said, "When a disciple is full of righteous thoughts, Master can move heaven and earth" ("Hongyin II", provisional translation). As Fa-rectification period disciples, we face the gods who have reincarnated as humans because they put all their hopes in Fa-rectification. We shoulder a great historical mission. We should clarify the truth and save sentient beings with immense compassion. Only when we cultivate ourselves in an upright manner can we have compassion and the ability to save more sentient beings.
October 28, 2005
Category: Improving Oneself
