(Clearwisdom.net) When I first began to practice Falun Dafa, it did not matter much to me whether I practiced cultivation or not. You could say that I was one of those "average" practitioners. One day, I suddenly realized that I didn't even qualify as a good person. The illnesses I used to suffer from recurred again. I then considered studying Dafa more diligently. Even though I wanted to study the Fa well, I still didn't study Teacher's newer articles. I thought it was sufficient to just study Zhuan Falun. I felt that if I couldn't even study Zhuan Falun well, why should I read the other articles? I thought that it was good enough to just become a good person. It seemed to me that I could not ascend higher in my understanding of the Fa.
Our compassionate Teacher, however, didn't give up on me. He constantly hinted to me to study his recent articles. Only after a long period of time I realized this. After I studied the lecture, Touring North America to Teach the Fa, I finally understood what the Fa-rectification period was and about our responsibility of saving sentient beings. There was no reason to not cultivate well, and if I didn't, then many sentient beings would be affected. Right then, I began to study the Fa until it was almost 11 p.m. I was so tired that I would have fallen asleep if I closed my eyes. However, a weak thought emerged that I needed to send forth righteous thoughts. Just when I could hardly stay awake, a stream of light appeared and irritated my eyes. At once, I regained my consciousness and I was able to send forth righteous thoughts. I realized it was Teacher's compassion to increase my faith in cultivation.
Since I stepped out late, it was difficult for me to catch up with Fa-rectification. However, Teacher arranged for me to do some Dafa work. The first time I tried to print some Dafa truth-clarification materials, the printer would not work even though the cords were properly connected and the power was turned on. I thought to myself, "What is the matter? Could it be that I didn't clarify the truth to the printer?" As soon as I thought this, the printer started to work. We really need to cherish all beings. I experienced the situation that when I was in a good mindset, everything went smoothly, but if I wasn't, everything would go wrong. I improved a lot from this understanding.
Owing to my inadequate understanding of the Fa and my deep attachment to qing, the old forces took advantage of my loophole and persecuted me. I had a toothache and one side of my face swelled. I also had a fever and there was a lump in my throat that was painful. I couldn't sleep well. I could hardly eat and was only able to drink some soymilk. I even had trouble talking. I could only nod or shake my head to "talk" to my family. This lasted for several days. I tried to use ice to see if it would help, but it didn't. I was in great pain and there was talk that I may need to get a shot. I calmed down and earnestly sent forth righteous thoughts. The pain started to diminish. Teacher then showed me my attachment to "qing" so I would recognize it. Suddenly, all of the pain I experienced disappeared. I felt Teacher's great compassion and the power of Dafa. I shouted out, "Dafa is miraculous! Dafa is miraculous!" In just ten minutes, both my mother and daughter saw a great change in me and said with amazement, "Why are you shouting so loudly?" I continued to say loudly, "I can shout loudly now. I am so happy!" My mother saw the amazing change in me and began to practice Falun Dafa. My daughter also wanted to read Zhuan Falun.
After that experience however, for some time, I slacked off in cultivation and only stayed at home to study the Fa and send forth righteous thoughts. Once when I sent forth righteous thoughts, I couldn't keep my palm upright and I must have dozed off. I then heard voices saying, "Look at this. Look at this!" The voices started to bother me. I heard a sharp voice laughing at me, "Ha, ha, ha, that is funny." I suddenly woke up and realized that, not only was I unable to eradicate the evil while sending forth righteous thoughts, but I allowed the evil to laugh at me. I needed to send forth righteous thoughts with a clear mind and be responsible to the Fa, to fellow practitioners, sentient beings, and myself. I should concentrate all my energy and keep my eyes open when I get sleepy in order to have the power to eradicate the evil.
Through constantly studying the Fa diligently, the Buddhas, Taos, and Gods showed the deeper meaning of the Fa to me and let me see the greatness of the Fa. I realized that it does not matter how much suffering I endure. I could clearly see the difference between my true self and my acquired notions. Only when we eliminate theses notions, can our true self manifest.
Teacher said in Hong Yin: "Washing away all wrong thought, Buddhahood, with less adversity, is wrought." It is truly so, that, "... a great way is extremely simple and easy." (From The Great Consummation Way of Falun Dafa)
The changes that occurred in me this past year made me realize the greatness of the Fa and Teacher's compassion. I have now become a steadfast Dafa practitioner. It is easy to cultivate when we have the great Fa to lead us. Our goal is not to just cultivate well, but also to save more sentient beings. We need to do well the three things and accomplish our mission to fulfill our pledge.
Category: Improving Oneself
