(Clearwisdom.net) Since beginning my cultivation practice, the karma I had accumulated lifetime after lifetime has come out on numerous occasions in the form of various illnesses. Very often, as soon as it appeared, it would be immediately cleared away. The miraculous cleansing of illness and Dafa's supernormal principles strengthened my righteous belief in Dafa.
However, for a long period of time, my understanding of the Fa stayed at this level, and I could not make any breakthroughs.
Since July 20, 1999, this situation obviously changed. For example, various diseases I had in the past came back to me one after another, and this situation lingered on stubbornly for almost two years. This is a situation that had never happened in the past, even before I took up cultivation practice. Why did this happen? Was it because I had fallen behind with my xinxing (mind nature) cultivation, or was it interference from the evil forces? I had been constantly thinking about this, but always separated the xinxing issue from the evil interference in my way of thinking. As a result, no matter how hard I tried to figure out the reason, I could not make any breakthroughs, and of course the problem was never resolved.
In fact, one's xinxing problem and the interference from evil go hand in hand. Master made this very clear in the article "Towards Consummation," "Whatever you're attached to, they have evil ones concoct lies about that. Even if you're afraid that Dafa is being damaged, they fabricate articles allegedly written by Master..." From what Master said we can see that if there had not been the former, there would not have been the latter. Then where did my attachment lie?
When I carefully cleared my thoughts according to the Fa Master taught us to see where my attachments were, I found that cunning attachments were deeply hidden under the banners of " validating the Fa" or "safeguarding the Fa," and as a result, I could not see them for a long time. For example, in order to "validate the healing effect of Dafa," I always hoped that people around me could see how healthy I was, and that my good health was all gained through cultivating Dafa. However, things often went contrary to my wishes. Often when I saw people I would start coughing uncontrollably. In order to "validate that Dafa is a cultivation practice for both mind and body," I always hoped that I would look younger, compared to other people of my age. But the reality is just the opposite, and I have aged a lot in the last two years. The truth is in my mind there was a lack of compassion to offer salvation to people, and I was attached to the human notion of pursuing good health. What a big loophole this was.
To give another example, I was also concerned that Dafa practitioners might be misunderstood and be considered being involved in politics and against the government, so on several occasions I made it clear to everyday people that I was a patriot and I even went so far as to try to offer advice on how the people in authority should manage the country. Of course, the result was that I was kidding myself. Master stated the principles so thoroughly and clearly in his article "No Politics." It was just that I did not study the Fa attentively! Master said, "Dafa disciples' cultivation surpasses what is human, they are cultivators who have grasped the truths in higher realms, and what they understand transcends the realm of everyday people. Any understanding below the realm of the higher Fa-principles is no longer the Truth of the cosmos. Every Dafa disciple is clear about this in his cultivation, so even less should he mix everyday people's politics into Fa-rectification." ("No Politics")
Although I read this article several times in the past, I did not understand the inner meaning. The reason was that I did not study the Fa wholeheartedly. How could I melt into the Fa when I was studying the Fa with strong attachments and not attentively? If I could not dissolve into the Fa, then how could I rectify my incorrect thoughts and notions? Dafa practitioners must check every detail of their words and deeds against the standard of the Fa in the course of Fa-rectification, and only when what they do accords with the standard of the Fa can they manifest mighty power.
How could I lower myself to an everyday person's level with human notions under the banner of "validating the Fa" or "safeguarding the Fa?" How could such actions be counted as assisting Master in Fa-rectification! To put it more seriously, it was as bad as giving in to the old forces; it was a kind of compromise and it may have to a certain extent played a role of hindering sentient beings from attaining the Fa.
When the illness karma reappeared, I saw another attachment of mine-- since I still have illness karma, it means that I'm still cultivating within In Triple World Fa. There was a hidden selfishness of pursuing consummation, which combined with another strong attachment of showing-off. There were so many attachments and such big loopholes that it was so easy for the evil to interfere.
If we want to fundamentally break through human notions and truly become qualified Dafa disciples in the course of Fa-rectification, the only way is to study the Fa more and study the Fa attentively with a calm mind, because if we do not change ourselves fundamentally and we still keep many attachments and use human notions to do Fa-rectification work, then we will not be able to meet the objective requirements of Fa-rectification.
