Letting Go of Resentment and Treating My In-Laws with Kindness

(Minghui.org) Soon after I began practicing Falun Dafa in 1997 I experienced the joy of being free of illnesses. After years of pain and suffering I was finally able to smile. Ironically, it was a harsh comment from my father-in-law that led me to find this precious practice.

I had severe stomach pain when I went to the county town to grade exams in the fall of 1991. The school arranged a lunch for all the teachers but I didn’t eat. I wanted to rest at my in-laws’ house during the lunch break so I could return in the afternoon (my own home was far away in the countryside, but my in-laws lived near the school). When I entered, my in-laws and my husband’s younger sister were having lunch. I felt it was rude to go lie down right away, so I sat at the table and drank some water. My mother-in-law said my father-in-law could get me transferred to the county town (he was a senior official in the county’s education system and had the ability to arrange this).

The two of them went back and forth on the topic. I was already in pain, and hearing their discussion made me so nauseous I ran to the restroom outside their home to vomit. When I came back and stepped inside, I overheard my father-in-law saying loudly, “Who would hire her in her condition?” As soon as he saw me, he fell silent, visibly embarrassed. I knew he was referring to me—implying that no one wanted to hire someone who was so sick. Resentment and grievance flooded my heart, and I remembered all the unpleasant things my in-laws did to me.

What my father-in-law said deeply hurt me. I thought, “I’m only in my thirties. I must cure my illness and show my in-laws a new, healthy version of me.” I went everywhere seeking treatment and tried many medications, but none of them worked. My migraine headaches, ulcers, pharyngitis, and digestive disorders persisted. Eventually, I turned to qigong. After I practiced a qigong my condition worsened instead of improving. In 1997, a colleague suggested I try Falun Dafa, saying it helped resolve illnesses. Soon after I began practicing Dafa all my illnesses disappeared without any medical treatment.

As I read the teachings I understood more of Fa principles. I realized the mistreatment I received from my in-laws was actually a way for me to repay the debts I owed from past lifetimes. They were helping me cultivate, building the steps I needed to return to my true home. It was a very good thing. I no longer resented them. Instead, I truly thanked them from the bottom of my heart. If they hadn’t created those conflicts, how could I have let go of human attachments, dissolved karma, and elevated myself?

My father-in-law said that we didn’t need to care for him. But after my mother-in-law passed away in 2012, he changed his mind. In front of the entire family, he arrogantly declared, “You two move back in and live with me. Taking care of me is your duty.” I didn’t hold any grudges against him for his past behavior. I let go of my resentment and held myself to the standards of a Falun Dafa practitioner. I readily agreed. My husband and I moved in with him and began taking care of him. Deep down, I made a firm vow to look after him well and demonstrate the dignity and kindness of a Falun Dafa practitioner.

I cheerfully took care of my father-in-law every day. One time, when I brought him water to wash his feet, he dipped his foot in and found it hot. He shouted at me, “Are you trying to burn me?” I wasn’t the least bit angry. I just laughed and said, “I’ll add some cool water to it.” My husband saw how his father yelled at me and got really upset, casting a glare at him.

My father-in-law knew he treated us poorly in the past, so he thought the reason we moved back in and treated him so well was because we were after his money. I found his suspicion both humorous and sad. I thought to myself, “It’s only because I practice Falun Dafa. Otherwise, even if you gave me mountains of gold and silver, I wouldn’t serve you.” He was a selfish and very hard person to deal with. When we first moved in, my husband was often be driven to tears because of him. Once, he exploded at my husband over the laundry. After holding back so much frustration for so many days, my husband couldn’t bear it anymore and cried out loud in the bathroom. If I didn’t practice Dafa, I might have been driven crazy by my father-in-law. It was Dafa that saved me—and saved this family. I’m deeply grateful to great Master!

At that time, we had to care for both our young grandson and my demanding father-in-law—it was extremely challenging. When it was time for our grandson to start kindergarten, we brought my father-in-law along to our daughter’s home. My daughter and my husband’s younger brother lived in the same city. The brother invited us to stay for over twenty days, but didn’t invite his father over. My father-in-law took the bus to his younger son’s house by himself and stayed for more than ten days. He ended up having constant conflicts with his daughter-in-law. After that, he never went there again.

No matter how my father-in-law treated me, I just followed Master’s teachings and continued to take good care of him. My daughter even took out a large loan to buy a house with a loft so we could care for him better. He had the entire loft to himself. Everything upstairs—from big things like a TV and air conditioner to small things like toothpaste, toothbrush, and a sewing kit—we bought for him without using a single penny of his. Whenever we made delicious food, we served it to him first. Whenever we brought home treats, he was the first to try them. Under my guidance, my grandson developed the habit of always offering tasty things to his great-grandfather first. Sometimes I bought hamburgers, which kids love. I’d buy two: one for my father-in-law and one for my grandson. Once, I bought four peaches at 16 yuan per pound—two for him, two for the grandson. My father-in-law was so moved and said, “You don’t need to be this good to me.” He once told me, “My superior, the bureau chief, said I’m really lucky to have such a good daughter-in-law.”

Seeing how sincere we were in caring for him, my father-in-law changed his attitude. He has told everyone, “My eldest son and daughter-in-law are great—especially my daughter-in-law. She never loses her temper with me.” He told us, “I’m not going anywhere else. This is my home.”

He knew it was because I practiced Falun Dafa that I could treat him with such kindness. He went from strongly opposing my practice to supporting it.