(Minghui.org) I noticed that practitioners have different understandings of the meaning of forbearance in cultivation. Some practitioners say that we should not just tolerate evil, as believing it condones the evil. Some say that we should practice the tolerance of a practitioner, and not debate over every little thing.
When I first obtained the Fa, I knew a fellow practitioner who was not tolerant when it came to family conflicts. She thought that it was not correct to tolerate her husband’s mistakes and shortcomings. Later, her family conflicts worsened. She even fought with her husband’s mistress. Over time this fellow practitioner gave up cultivation. At that time, I didn’t have a clear understanding of the Fa principles regarding this issue and didn’t understand how to communicate with her.
I eventually realized that during cultivation, when we can endure, the results are often positive, but when we fail to endure, the results are negative, and we have regrets. Sometimes we seem to endure, but can’t let go in our heart, and therefore we still feel pain and grievance.
I have not been able to eliminate conflicts with my daughter over the past few years. I helped her out after the birth of her two children, and have gone through many xinxing tests in my daughter’s home. The complicated relationships among family members, even how to get along with a three year old child, all exposed my human attachments. And the run-ins with my daughter were especially heart-wrenching.
A fellow practitioner reminded me that the conflict between my daughter and me was because of the sentimentality I have for her. I can’t deny this, but how and where does the sentiment manifest? I really want to eliminate it. Whenever I felt pain a firm thought arose in my heart: study the Fa more. I felt this was a hint from Master. I thus began to study the Fa more every day, and I recently recited Hong Yin VI again.
I came to understand through the Fa that I should remain unmoved. I looked within and realized that the sentimentality for my daughter determined how hurt I was. I felt hurt because I couldn’t let go of sentimentality.
I understood that when I felt hurt, I was an ordinary person. If I could let go of my sentimentality for my daughter and treat her as if she was not related, I could improve my cultivation level. After understanding this, I would check if my heart was moved in a conflict with my daughter, and would deny it if my heart was moved.
After dealing with these type of tests often, I no longer felt hurt. I can now stay calm in conflicts with my daughter. I am sometimes even able to stay content when my daughter scolds me. I feel the peacefulness of compassion, and I don’t feel wronged or resentful. I think I have reached the forbearance level of a cultivator.
During this process, my daughter has gone through great changes as well, both in mindset and appearance.
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