(Minghui.org) I am a 45-year-old father with an 18-year-old son. We live in a major city in southwest China. I have been practicing Falun Dafa since I was in high school. Over 20 years have passed, and I have learned the importance of solid cultivation. More specifically, cultivating compassion without selfishness is critical for us to let go of attachments and assimilate to Dafa. Below are some examples.
Compassion Toward My Child
For many years, I felt my son had many problems and did not behave like a child of a Falun Dafa practitioner.
During childhood, my son was kind and smart, although a little stubborn. He often studied the Dafa teachings and did the Dafa exercises together with me. When he did something wrong, I would point out his mistakes with patience and he listened. Upon entering middle school, however, the negative elements in his mind became stronger due to the bad influence in society. For instance, he had a strong ego, looked down upon others, spent too much time playing video games, had no manners, and tended to force his opinion on others. Over time, he also spent less time on studying the Fa.
While doing my job as a parent, I often had tense arguments with my son. As I did better with Fa study and reciting Fa teachings, I was able to let go of human notions through solid cultivation. I learned to understand him and remain calm when I noted his various issues. Because I was able to communicate with him rationally, our relationship became harmonious. But his habits did not seem to change.
My wife, who is not a practitioner, was obsessed with our son’s academic performance. When he did well on tests, she would be happy; otherwise, she would be upset and angry. As a result, the two of them often had conflicts. For example, my wife said our son did not work hard enough because he hardly studied at home and always played hours of video games each weekend with no exception. Our son, on the other hand, said he had done his best.
When my wife and son had conflicts with each other, I tried to mediate, sharing with them what I learned from Dafa teachings. Deep in my mind, however, I agreed with my wife. My supervisor’s daughter was in the same grade as my son, although in a different school. Whenever there was a city wide standard test, my supervisor would ask how my son did. Almost every time his daughter outperformed my son on those standard tests. When that happened, I would comfort myself that my son was a very smart kid, but that he did not study hard enough.
In March 2022, my son did poorly on a diagnostic exam in the senior year and his total score dropped dozens of points compared to a previous similar test [in China, such tests are indicators of how well a high school senior may perform on the college entrance exams]. My wife had a big fight with our son. I tried to intervene, but no one listened to me. Looking back, I knew I was not happy with my son’s score – with that mindset, my communication with him would not go well. During the argument, he repeated a sentence he had told us over the years: I am a human being, not your personal belonging.
This incident triggered me to think deeper – since a Dafa disciple often encounters something like this, I must have problems on my side. Through consistent Fa study and looking within, I noticed my attachment to my son’s academic performance. Digging deeper, I found my jealousy, thinking that my son should have done better on the standard tests than my supervisor’s daughter. I realized what my son said was actually true – I used him to satisfy my own ego and vanity instead of treating him as an individual with his own thinking. Without pure compassion, forbearance, or selflessness, I was not able to be fully considerate of him.
It suddenly dawned on me that every conflict with my son was meant to reveal my problems and help me improve. I had all the issues that I complained about my son: big ego, looking down upon others, and forcing my opinion on others.
I then tried to see things from my son’s angle. Since the second half of his junior year, he had been trying his best with school work. Besides going to school to study during weekends, he also went to his teachers during class breaks to ask questions – one empty desk next to a teacher almost became his personal desk. Upon recommendation from his teachers, we also bought extra study materials for him. With all these efforts, my son improved quickly. Due to a poor foundation, however, his performance was still not stable and he felt bad about his poor grade on the aforementioned diagnostic test. I came to see why he was so upset and hysterical after my wife complained about his bad grades.
Another issue I thought about was his playing hours of video games each weekend. When putting down my human notions, I came to understand that today’s society has become this way already. Almost all his peers were like this and video games had become part of their conversations and social interactions. As a Dafa practitioner, I know that, without Dafa, a person cannot resist temptations like this. Since my son had studied the Fa at a young age, Master has taken care of him. I believe he would come back to cultivation when the time was right. Before that happens, I need to behave well as a Dafa practitioner. My pure and upright cultivation status will also help him come back to cultivation.
We are separate individuals with independent thinking, and one day my son will grow up and have his own life. Although I am his father, I cannot change his life, which is based on his karmic relationship. So during the time we are together, I need to raise him, help him build character, and prepare him for genuine cultivation at a later time.
So I decided to have an open and honest discussion with him. One evening after picking him up from school, I shared my thoughts with him. I said that, before he became financially independent, I would provide him with all assistance needed in school and life. As long as he agreed, I would do these for him without any pressure or expectation, since I just wished him well. My son was quiet when I said these things. As I finished, he thought for a while and said, “I have been saying I am not your personal belonging. I think you get it now and we will see how things go.” I know underlying his words were his expectation of me, a Dafa practitioner.
Since then, I always tried to understand things positively from my son’s angle. When chatting with my wife, I also shared my thoughts, hoping that she could do the same to relieve our son’s pressure and anxiety. Gradually, our family environment improved. In addition, I also changed my attitude toward my supervisor’s daughter. I no longer felt jealousy when she did better than my son. Instead, I wished she would do well in school and go to a good college.
One day after the college entrance exam, I dreamed of my son reverting to a young boy again, lovely and smart. In the dream, I told my wife that our son is back and that he had been a good child all along. Upon waking up, I knew this dream was encouragement from Master that I had improved on this issue and cultivated compassion towards my son.
Compassion Toward a Police Officer
Earlier this year, I had a dream in which there were two gigantic doors. Although some beings were blocking the doors, I was able to push them open. Then I saw many Dafa practitioners standing on a high platform, quietly observing the city in front of us. In the dream, I knew it was the city I live in. With corpses stacked up as high as a tall building, the city was burning and the scene was horrific.
After waking up, I was still thinking of the terrifying dream. I considered it a hint from Master for us to save more people before it is too late. I shared this dream with other practitioners and we reminded each other to fulfill our mission of saving people. This is a prehistorical vow we had made and I also tried my best to save people in daily life.
One day in late March this year, my family went to a friend’s home for him to tutor my son in chemistry. Just as my wife and I were chatting with the friend’s wife, someone called me and it was local police officer Lei.
I went to another room and answered the call. Since we had not seen each other for a long time, Lei was hoping to have a meeting. This made me disgusted – I had talked to him about Dafa so many times over these years, but he still kept harassing me. I told him that we could not meet since I was not at home. When he asked what time I would be available, I said my work had been busy and I would let him know later. After ending the call, I found myself full of negative thoughts toward Lei. I looked down on him, and I also had complaints and fear in my heart. I tried to send forth righteous thoughts and study the Fa, but it did not work out since I was at the friend’s place for my son’s chemistry tutoring.
After we returned home, my son needed me to help him with something. Seeing all this interference, I calmed down to look within. Then I realized something important.
Since the pandemic broke out nearly three years ago, I had not met with Lei. As practitioners, we know the plague was not accidental and those still following the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) to persecute innocent Falun Dafa practitioners were in danger. Although I thought of Lei from time to time these years, I had not told him how the phrases of “Falun Dafa is good” and “Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good” could bring blessings. The reason Lei reached out to me this time was not interference for me. Rather, it was an opportunity arranged by Master for me to tell him this important message.
With that thought, all negative feelings in me were gone and my heart was filled with compassion. I called Lei and told him that we could meet at lunch time the following day at a nearby street intersection. This would have minimal impact on my work. Lei said no problem.
On the next day, I went there a little earlier and Lei came with a young police officer. We greeted each other and I apologized for being available only at noon due to my busy work. He was very understanding. During our conversation, I told them how society had changed dramatically over the past few decades. Even compared to the 1980s, moral values have dropped sharply and many people just want to make more money, even at the expense of others. I reminded them that following one’s conscience and helping the innocent will make a difference, especially given today’s pandemic and myriad of social problems. In fact, many people have received blessings for keeping in mind the phrases of “Falun Dafa is good” and “Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good.”
The conversation went well and Lei was also sincere. I told him I saw them as my friends and even brothers. Lei looked at me and said seriously: “I am treating you as a friend too.” After talking for about 20 minutes, we parted ways and I returned to work. In my heart I felt relieved – finally I told them the important message they needed to know.
Compassion for People I Came Across
I live in an apartment building. The family living one floor above my apartment unit had renovations about two months ago. When demolished materials were removed, there was loud noise from time to time. One day I was studying the Falun Dafa teachings at home, when I heard banging sounds on the metal canopy outside the master bedroom. My wife went to check and saw things dropping from upstairs. They hit our metal canopy before falling down to another family’s backyard on the first floor.
My wife went upstairs to inquire about what was going on. She came back to tell me that the renovation company working upstairs was too careless. They didn’t have any protection measures when removing windows in the bedroom. As a result, the cement and metal pieces just kept falling down. “What if the family on the first floor got hit?” asked my wife. Anyway, my wife has told the company to put in place protective measures; otherwise, she would complain to the property management requesting to stop the renovation. After hearing all these things, I also felt the renovation company was too careless. What a society! I thought.
One day when walking upstairs to my apartment unit, I noticed one piece of stone surface was newly damaged. It must be the renovation company, I thought. Not long after returning to my apartment, I heard heavy footsteps in the staircase with banging noise – the workers must be moving the old windows down. Would they break something else this time? I was worried. Then I suddenly realized my many complaints and resentment. Where was my compassion as a Dafa practitioner?
I calmed down and imagined what I would do as a renovation worker. It was hot and moving the bulky windows down from the fifth floor was not easy. Since there was no elevator, knocking around here and there would be understandable. Plus, from the Fa, we know everyone in this society could come from a high level for this Fa and they have suffered so much. I really felt bad for the workers.
I then sent forth righteous thoughts to help them move materials and reduce their burden. After that, I heard their footsteps no longer being so heavy and the knocking sound was also gone. This way, I learned how wonderful it was to be a Dafa practitioner.
Several days later when I left home for work, I ran into two workers moving materials upstairs. I told them the facts of Falun Dafa and one of them agreed to quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) too. I hope the other worker would withdraw from the Party some day too.
Another time I went out during lunch break and saw a woman was selling something on the roadside. She was from the countryside and did not dress well. With a heavy accent, she said she traveled over 50 kilometers here to sell reishi mushroom. But no one bought it and she hadn’t earned even one penny these few days.
Seeing her looking at me eagerly, I asked how much it was.
“It is on sale. All these would be 200 yuan,” she replied.
This was not cheap and a practitioner would not need to eat reishi mushrooms. But since we had started talking, I decided to buy half of it. She was very happy. As she was bagging the mushrooms, I talked about how society had changed over time.
“Yes, I know. What can we do?” she replied anxiously.
I told her that being a good person will lead to a better future. I also urged her to quit the CCP and its junior organizations. She said she would like to renounce membership in the Young Pioneers that she had joined earlier. I also told her to remember “Falun Dafa is good” and “Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good” before leaving.
After that I kept walking, hoping to find someone else to clarify the truth to. But people either refused to listen or just waked away. I then thought about going back to the mushroom vendor and talk to her more about Falun Dafa. But did I need to buy more mushrooms? Yes, I could give some to my mother since I had not visited her for a long time.
I went back and told the woman I would like to buy the remaining reishi mushrooms too. She was thrilled and kept saying that I was a good person. I continued sharing my personal story of practicing Falun Dafa, how the CCP made up lies and the staged Self-Immolation Incident to defame the practice. She was receptive to what I said and agreed that Falun Dafa practitioners are good people.
As I became more considerate of others, my truth-clarification results also improved. I gained wisdom to break through barriers and more people agreed to quit the CCP organizations.
One day I talked to a taxi driver about the persecution and he agreed to quit the CCP organizations. After we arrived at my destination, he was very happy. “This is my happiest day during these few months,” he said. “What you said really made me comfortable. If you take my taxi next time, it would be free.”
Looking back at my cultivation journey, I feel very fortunate to be a Falun Dafa practitioner. In order to assimilate to the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance we should change our selfish mindsets and become considerate of others. Only then can we attain the state of selflessness and wisdom that belongs to the new cosmos. During this process, Master will also help rectify our environment. It was just like what Master wrote, “Bathed in divine light, conduct and thought become right.” (The Third Talk, Zhuan Falun)
Here I wish all Dafa disciples would make the best use of the remaining time to assimilate to Dafa. By becoming purer and more selfless, we could save more people and live up to Master’s compassion.
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