My Insights and Experiences Overcoming “Pain”

(Minghui.org) Master said, 

“Cultivation is the perfection and fulfillment of a being.” (“2018 Fa Teaching Given in Washington, D.C.”) 

When I first read this part of the Fa, the words “perfection and fulfillment” gave me a jolt. I thought as long as I cultivate diligently, I will be able to achieve “perfection and fulfillment,” that is, consummation. However, after studying this article eight times, I saw how limited and selfish my original thought was.

We came to this human world to help Master Li (Dafa’s founder) rectify the Fa and save people. We are here to help more beings fulfill their lives and achieve perfection. As long as we do the three things well, sentient beings in our worlds will advance into the future. 

We utilize our wisdom, talents, wealth, physical bodies—everything that we have in the human world to save others. It may seem like we’re giving up all that we have, but who gave us these? Dafa created everything in this universe and everything that we own is given by Master. We have these things to use to help Master save people, not to enjoy an ordinary life. In other words, everything that we think we own is not ours to begin with.

Leg Pain When Meditating

Even after many years of practicing Falun Dafa, my legs still hurt when I meditated. The pain blocked me from calming my mind and entering into tranquility. I realized one day that I was too attached to “pain,” which means I'm attached to my physical body. 

Shakyamuni’s school of cultivation requires that one reach nirvana and to eventually give up the physical body. In Falun Dafa, however, there is no limit to how high a level one can achieve. At the very minimum, we should relinquish the attachment to our physical bodies. 

We have descended many levels to arrive in the Three Realms, and the physical body is but a vehicle. We have this physical body, so we can be here in this human world to save people. Master has explained that the process of enduring pain is the process of getting rid of karma. 

Once I realized this, I told the black substance that caused my leg pain, “You will all become new lives that meet the standards of the new universe. I hope you can assimilate to Dafa and stop interfering with me.” Just like that my leg pain immediately eased.

Master said, 

“So if one wants to renew all of this in the Fa-rectification, or even remove whatever is substandard, and make everything good, [certain old beings] won’t be willing to see those things go. And so they try to meddle with the Fa-rectification and change it into what they would have it be.” (“2018 Fa Teaching Given in Washington, D.C.”)

Master's words: “won’t be willing to see those things go” stood out. When I thought about it further, I realized that all things that we don’t want to let go of are exactly the things we need to relinquish in our cultivation. If we don’t even want to let go of our “shortcomings,” then how can we cultivate? We need to be willing to suffer pain in order to let go of the black substances, only then can we cultivate. Only when we eliminate something bad, can we gain something good. 

Ever since Master’s lecture, “2018 Fa Teaching Given in Washington, D.C.” was published, I have been able to sit in meditation for an hour easily without any pain.

Toothache

Since the outbreak of the CCP (Chinese Communist Party) virus (coronavirus), I have had a toothache on and off for months. At first, I thought it was because my mother moved in with us and my body was adjusting to the change of routine and lifestyle. Only when the toothache got worse, I started examining myself. I found my sentimentality to my mother, the fact that I liked being complimented, and that I don’t like being told what to do. 

The pain was alleviated for a few days after I found these attachments but soon intensified. I then realized it was caused by my fear of pain. I took the pain too seriously. 

Master said,

“If you want to return, you must possess the following two factors: one is suffering, and the other is enlightenment.” (Fa-Teaching Given at the Conference in Sydney)

To fear pain is to not want to suffer. If one does not want to suffer, it’s impossible for a being to return to its origin. 

Master also said,

“… Let joy be found in hardship …” (“Tempering the Will,” Hong Yin)

I asked myself, “Have you found joy in hardship?” I looked grumpy and frowned. I did not want to endure pain. I had not met the standard of the Fa—in other words, my actions and thoughts were not based on the Fa. I may be able to temporarily endure as a “tough” person among ordinary people. However, as it went on I could not have overcome this hurdle if I hadn’t had the Fa as my guide.

Then what is not being afraid of pain? When we turn “enduring” to “accepting,” to even “enjoying” pain, we’d be happy about having “pain,” as we know that this pain helps us eliminate karma and improve in our cultivation. While completely denying the old forces’ arrangements, we examine ourselves, as we know it is only an illusion so we take it with a calm heart.

Negating “Pain”

While working on a truth-clarification project recently, I experienced the greatest tribulation in my cultivation. I had excruciating pain in my hip for two months. At its worst, I couldn’t sleep for three days straight. 

I limped during the day and continued working on the project. For every twelve steps I took, I had to stop and rest to alleviate the pain. At night, I rolled around in bed. Sometimes I sweated so profusely that my clothes became soaked. When it hurt so badly that I couldn’t take it anymore, the true me and the fake me argued loudly in my head.

The fake me said, “Go to the hospital. Get some relief.” The true me said, “I am a Falun Dafa practitioner. Can a doctor help me?” The fake me said, “Remember that a practitioner said that these are symptoms of diabetes? Your father died of diabetes. He had to have one of his legs amputated.” The true me said, “When I started cultivating in Dafa, Master purified my body. What diabetes? It has nothing to do with me.”

The fake me said, “If you don’t have the ability, you shouldn’t have taken on the job. How could you not know your limitations? You thought you could handle the project. Don’t bring it upon yourself again next year. You could just do something else—there are all kinds of truth-clarification projects.”

The true me said, “This is my mission. If I don’t complete it, how can I face Master?” The fake me said, “You’re following the requirement of the project but others, they haven’t figured it out yet.” The true me said, “We look inward and examine ourselves unconditionally. It is my fault. You will not be able to make me start a conflict with other practitioners. I’m not falling for it.”

The battle between the true me and the fake me went on as they took turns dominating my thinking. Various bad thoughts kept cropping up in my head. With much difficulty, I suppressed these thoughts knowing that it was the old forces trying to bring me down. Even breathing was difficult—it was a violent battle with the old forces every minute and every second.

Getting Through Tribulation

My younger brother brought me a traditional Chinese herbal painkiller and I applied it to my hip area. I immediately felt a burning sensation. It didn’t reduce my leg pain but caused tightness in my chest—as using the medication was not based on the Fa. I rushed to the bathroom, rinsed it off in the shower, and apologized to Master, “Master, I was wrong.”

One night, I just couldn’t take it anymore. I begged Master, “Please let me sleep for two hours.” With Master’s help and fellow practitioners continuously sending righteous thoughts for me, I fell sound asleep that night. Master endured so much for me. 

To get through this tribulation, I examined myself constantly and recited over and over, “Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good.” The pain sometimes lessened during the day but at night it was intense, almost unbearable.

Help from Other Practitioners

A practitioner whom I had not seen for a long time suddenly came to visit. Seeing how much pain I was in, she said, “Master must have sent me. Don’t worry. I will come to pick you up and drop you off to do the project every day.” Tears welled up in my eyes. 

I let it all out and told her everything that I had gone through in the past weeks. As I spoke, I cried louder and louder even though I had always considered myself a strong person and rarely cried. She patted my arm and said, “Well, now you will improve.” I wiped the tears away and said, “Let’s go. Let’s go work on the project.” 

This practitioner brought breakfast every day and came to pick me up in the morning. She also dropped me off at night after the project was over.

Another practitioner from out of town came to visit and told me, “Increase the capacity of your heart. Don’t focus on just one thing when looking for attachments. Get out of that narrow focus. We not only need to endure for ourselves, but we also need to endure for the project and for the sentient beings of the world.” 

As I increased my capacity like the practitioner suggested, my hip pain alleviated. Master said,

“When encountering conflicts, cultivators should bear them. Furthermore, you yourself should be able to endure, and only then can you truly ascend.” (Teachings at the Conference in Houston)

Forming One Body

Other practitioners involved in this project also encountered interference to various degrees. One practitioner fell and broke her wrist. Another practitioner had a stomachache and another had a toothache. No one took time off. Everyone finished their assigned task and produced high-quality work day after day. 

The project had a deadline that we had to meet. As a team, we depended on each one to finish their task and then proceed to the next phase. The perseverance and steadfastness other practitioners on the team demonstrated were truly admirable. The old forces targeted this project and interfered ruthlessly. I believe the reason was a disagreement between me and others on how to approach the project. We created a loophole in the one body that was exploited by the evil.

But where exactly was the loophole? I knelt in front of Master’s picture and asked for help. Master flashed two words in my head, “Sharp corners.” What are the characteristics of sharp corners? My thinking has been deeply imprinted with the CCP culture and as I examined myself, I found many of my notions and attachments stemmed from it—being pleased with myself, wanting to get things done quickly, wanting to validate myself, the attachment to fame, my sentimentality towards fellow practitioners, my competitive mentality, my resentment towards fellow practitioners for not cooperating, narrow-mindedness, and intolerance of others. 

I asked myself, “Do you believe in Master? Do you believe in Dafa? Do you believe in fellow practitioners? Do you believe in yourself? Do you believe that you will achieve Buddhahood through cultivation? Do you believe that these tribulations are all good things?”

Then how do we form one body? I realized, at my current level, that we need to at least achieve three things. First, support others willingly and cooperate unconditionally—this is also the process of letting go of the attachment to self. Second, communicate with other practitioners and take advice instead of being stubborn and insisting on our own ideas. We need to eliminate the tendency to impose, which is characteristic of the Party culture. Third, learn to apologize and lower oneself to the lowest position. We should increase our tolerance so it’s as broad as the ocean and treat everything with a calm heart and a humble attitude. Not only should we apologize when we’ve done something wrong, even when we’re wrongly blamed for something that has nothing to do with us, we should still apologize. If we can achieve this, then we’ve truly improved.

Eliminating “Pain”

When the project was completed, I allocated more time to Fa-study and read four to five lectures each day. I couldn’t sit so I knelt when I read the Fa. I did all five sets of exercises every day despite the pain, which was especially intense during the sitting meditation. I sweated and my entire body trembled after sitting in the full lotus position for even just a little while. However, as one practitioner put it, “The more it hurts, the more I have to sit (in meditation).”

On the morning of the 61^st day, since this tribulation started, I woke up at 3 a.m. in tremendous pain. As soon as I erected my palm to send righteous thoughts, my entire body was enveloped by energy which made my body and my erected palm sway back and forth. I tried my best to stay still but the energy was too strong. I then saw a black rock the size of my palm in my hip area. There were red veins all over the rock that looked like running lava, only much thinner, with a layer of black on the surface and moving ever so slightly as if it was breathing. I immediately asked Master to strengthen me and bestow on me the power to burn the rock. However, I was not powerful enough so I shouted, “My guardian deities, please help!”

My guardian deities are dragons—golden dragons of various sizes, big and small. Master showed me this when the persecution first started. At the time, I had a lot of anxiety distributing Dafa flyers in residential areas. I was so scared that my heart almost jumped out of my throat when I left flyers at the door of each apartment unit. Master showed me my guardian deities in a dream. 

In my dream, I was walking towards home and all of a sudden the wind started blowing and a golden dragon descended from the sky. It landed on the rooftop of my apartment building. It was a seven-story apartment compound spanned over four buildings but still, it wasn’t enough to contain the dragon’s entire body—its head and its tail went beyond the rooftop. I was standing about 50 feet away from the building and the dragon lowered its head to my level and nuzzled me playfully. I saw clearly its whiskers, eyes, and the wrinkles on its nose. My body was surrounded by many small dragons that were floating vertically. I have relinquished a lot of fear since then.

As I called out for my guardian dragons to help, the big dragon showed up and spit fire towards my hip. The fire spiraled, quickly approached my body, and drilled deeper into my flesh, breaking through one dimension after another and layer after layer of dimensions. Some dimensions were small so the smaller dragons went right through them while also spitting fire. 

After a long time, a voice told me, “You’re fine now.” The pain in my hip area was gone. My erected palm was joined with my other hand as I firmly pressed them together to show my deepest gratitude toward Master. Thank you, Master!

After 60 days of battling between good and evil, I lost more than 10 pounds. I had let Master and fellow practitioners down. I had not done a good job supporting and completing the one body and have had doubts in Master and the Fa. Master still compassionately watched over me and fellow practitioners helped me unconditionally. Thank you, Master. Thank you, fellow practitioners.

[Editor’s note: This article only represents the author’s understanding in their current cultivation state meant for sharing among practitioners so that we can “Compare with one another in study, in cultivation.” (“Solid Cultivation,” Hong Yin)]