Search Within Before Saying Hurtful Words
(Minghui.org) We are five Falun Dafa practitioners who study the Fa together. All of us acquired the Fa before July 1999 (when the persecution began in China) and are leaders in four different industries. Although conflicts sometimes happen, we use such occurrences to cultivate ourselves.
For example, I was influenced by the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) culture and often looked at my fellow practitioners’ shortcomings instead of using my observations as an opportunity to get rid of my attachments. I narrowly understood Master’s Fa and thought I was helping others in the group by pointing out their shortcomings, but forgetting the Fa principle of searching within even if I was a third party observing things.
Hai (alias) took on the heavy task of purchasing supplies for and producing truth-clarifying calendars. I heard that he accepted money from another practitioner and questioned him about it before the group Fa-study. He told me that a practitioner wanted to donate money for the calendar production, but he refused to accept it. The other practitioner put the money on the table and immediately left. When he saw the person again, he seriously asked him to take the money back, which the practitioner said hurt his pride. When others learned what happened, the practitioner caused a stir in the Fa-study group trying to find out who leaked the story.
I heard many people picked up the calendars from Hai’s home. I worried about the safety of the information production site and was concerned that we shouldn't let so many practitioners know where things were made, especially those who did not cultivate their speech well. However, I was influenced by the CCP culture and questioned Hai after Fa-study. Using a strong tone of voice, I asked how many people came to his place and who they were. Hai didn't say much in response.
Ming (alias) also has a strong personality. Once he told us he noticed a suspicious person lurking around his apartment building and that he followed the person around. When I heard this, I interrupted him and asked, “Why did you follow him? Maybe he was (a practitioner) handing out information about Falun Dafa. Your job is not to spy on people.” Ming left before I finished speaking.
Ming didn't show up for the next two Fa-study sessions. I visited him and he straightforwardly said that I had hurt his feelings. I still didn't understand why he was hurt. He pointed out that my criticism left him speechless. I realized that I had unintentionally hurt his feelings and immediately apologized to him. We started sharing many cultivation experiences. He pointed out that I hurt Hai’s feelings too. I sincerely apologized again.
I reflected afterwards on why these things happened to me. Experience sharing is a platform practitioners use to improve as a whole. Why did I keep creating conflicts among practitioners and hurt their feelings?
I understood that I shouldn't focus on specific things but on xinxing improvement when others are sharing their experiences. Before I speak, I should first think about whether what I want to say is within the Fa. When I hear other practitioner’s sharing, I should think about how to react to their words and whether my reaction conforms to the Fa.
I felt that Ming’s actions were too reactionary but never thought about it from his point of view. My questioning of Hai seemed to be well-intentioned, but I didn't have compassion for him and my tone was not kind either. I sounded like I wanted to expose Hai's shortcomings. Regarding the issues of money and too many people coming to Hai’s place, I should have talked with him in private instead of causing a conflict and affecting other practitioners unnecessarily.
When I searched within, I understood Master’s mercy. Master used these conflicts to let me realize my shortcomings and attachment of showing off. There are no official titles in Dafa cultivation. Everyone is a practitioner. I should not look outward when conflicts occur and should not use strong words or the tone of teaching others a lesson.
“Cultivation is about cultivating oneself. Some people just always look externally. “You are not in line with the Fa in this aspect” and “He is not in line with the Fa in that aspect.” When you see another person doing something not right, you may say to him kindly, “Shouldn’t we do it this way, as we are cultivators.” I think he will be able to accept it.” (“Fa Teaching at the 2016 New York Fa Conference”)
“Cultivating oneself is primary. If others have all cultivated well and you help others cultivate well, and yet you yourself have not cultivated well, what's the use?” (“Fa Teaching at the 2016 New York Fa Conference”)
Comparing myself to Master’s Fa, I felt ashamed that I did not cultivate myself well and did not listen to Master and search within. I must take this profound lesson seriously and always remember I am a Dafa practitioner during my future cultivation. I must let my true self take charge and eliminate all human notions. As Master Li said:
“Your enlightened, original nature will automatically know what to do. Cherishing your human side enables you to enlighten to and ascend in the Fa.” (“Expounding on the Fa,” Essentials for Further Advancement)
I must cherish the cultivation environment, do the three things well, and truly cultivate myself in this last stage of Fa-rectification.