Clarifying the Truth to My Family Helps Remove Each Layer of My Attachments
(Minghui.org) Perhaps every human emotion such as joy, pride, frustration, sadness or sorrow, adds another protective layer which eventually becomes a shell. These attachments are sometimes hard to perceive. It may require a dramatic occurrence like a conflict to expose them.
“Accordingly, in your future cultivation, you will run into all kinds of tribulations. How could you cultivate without these hardships? If everyone is good to one another without conflicts of interest or interference from the human mind, and if all you do is just sit there, how can your xinxing improve? That wouldn’t do.” ( Zhuan Falun )“But normally when a problem arises, if it does not irritate you psychologically, it does not count or is useless and cannot make you improve.” ( Zhuan Falun )
One is uncomfortable when one is irritated, but this is an excellent opportunity to remove the attachment. One may experience a breakthrough in one’s cultivation if one can keep a clear head during a conflict and not get caught up in it. It's also an opportunity to cultivate one’s compassion.
Cultivate Oneself During Conflicts
My parents came to visit me after I left China. I realized it was a good opportunity to clarify the truth to them. The mass protests in Hong Kong against the extradition bill were going on. I subscribed to the Epoch Times newspaper and put it in the guest room. The next day my father roared, “I have friends who've been in Hong Kong. They all said this is not true. You shouldn't read these things.” My anger rose and I responded with sharp words.
I thought, “I graduated from a prestigious university and earned a master's degree in a western country. I work in a large international company and have many sources of information. You didn’t even graduate from a university. What do you know?”
My father hadn't shouted at me like that since I was a child. I couldn’t bear it. I tried to explain the persecution, but it seemed that whoever had the loudest voice would win and logic and reason had been forgotten. My mom also joined in the quarrel. She complained and said, “You shouldn't participate in any parades or assemblies. Don't let anyone take advantage of you!”
I was about to argue back. However, her words caught my attention. I knew it was Master’s hint! Shouting and saying hurtful words were a display of demonic behavior. This was not the way to save people. I quickly restrained my emotion and tried to calm down. I realized that my cheeks were hot, my hands and feet were cold, I was sweating and my heartbeat very fast.
Throughout the following days, my parents and I argued. I kept looking for ways to help my parents understand how evil the CCP was. But, my parents refuted everything I said. I was exhausted. My western husband always managed to lighten our mood and amused everyone with the few awkward Chinese words he knew.
Whenever my tone when I spoke to my parents became stern, he might throw in a Chinese word, “Nonsense”, which amused everyone. He often called me: “Teacher Chen” and then exaggeratedly mimicked me which made my parents smile. I was not a teacher. I realized that Master was giving me a hint to remind me that my attitude towards my parents wasn't right. I always preached to them! This was the attachment to showing off. I always thought I was right. My behavior was the complete opposite of what Master said, “He’s right, And I’m wrong, What’s to dispute?” (“Who’s Right, Who’s Wrong”, Hong Yin III )
After I overheard a conversation between my parents I suddenly realized that they were afraid of the CCP and were worried that I would get arrested. They knew the CCP wasn't good. In addition, my parents have pretty good pensions and their lives are comfortable. The CCP controlled them because of their fear and their comfort mentality. They didn't realize they were being controlled. This is a trick the CCP has always used. It makes people first see the consequences if they are against it; then how good it is to those who follow it. This kind of trick has been played for so long that people are confused with what's right and wrong. I didn’t know how I could help them see the truth. Master said, “Righteous thoughts can save the people in this world” (“Fa Rectifies the Cosmos,” Hong Yin II Vol. II) (Translation Version B)) I didn't do well because my righteous thoughts weren't strong enough.
I started out by apologizing to them. I said,, “I apologize that my attitude hasn't been respectful. You know that I wouldn't do anything reckless. Please don't worry about me.” This is the first time I apologized to my parents since I was a child. I silently thanked Master for this breakthrough! I nearly wept and so did my mom. My father said, “We're relieved!” My husband didn’t understand what we said. He looked around and kept asking what Teacher Chen said now, which made everyone laugh. I thanked Master for arranging to have such a patient and funny husband who always reminded me and helped me improve.
I couldn’t restrain myself and we had two or three more quarrels after my apology. My father shouted at me, “How can you talk like that! Being a lady, you should not be so tough. The more you say, the more wrong you are!” My mom said, “You're always so arrogant!” I continued to fight back until my father said, “Has Falun Dafa made you behave like this?” I was shocked and realized that I discredited Dafa. I quickly stopped. That night, I was very sad. I kept sending forth righteous thoughts. Why is it so hard to clarify the truth to one’s parents? Does it mean that I can’t save them?
“During the process of transforming karma, to keep yourself under control-unlike an everyday person who would mess things up-you should always maintain a compassionate heart and a calm mind. If you suddenly bump into a problem, you will be able to take care of it properly. If you always maintain a heart of benevolence and compassion, when a problem arises suddenly, you will have a buffer and room to think. If you always think about competing with others and fighting over this or that, I would say that you will start a fight with others whenever there is a problem-this is guaranteed. Thus, when you encounter a conflict, I would say that it is to transform your black substance into the white substance, de.” ( Zhuan Falun )
I was ashamed! How far I was from having a heart of benevolence and compassion! How could I treat my parents like this! I never fought like this with others but only with my parents. Master gave me the opportunity to cultivate myself but I didn’t do well. For the rest of their stay, I avoided talking about the CCP and so did my parents.
Reflecting and Enlightening
Soon after they went back to China, the CCP Virus (coronavirus) began to ravage the world. One day, my cousin had a video chat with me. She told me that my mother stopped by to ask her mother how to say the Falun Dafa sentences. My cousin’s mother has practiced Falun Dafa for more than 20 years. I only started practicing after I left China two years ago. I was surprised and asked how it went. My cousin said with a smile, “Falun Dafa is good; Truthfulness-Benevolence-Forbearance is good.” She said my mom repeated it several times until her mother assured her it was right.
I couldn’t believe it! Although my mother did not join the CCP she always praised it. I was touched by her. I remembered that during my parents' visit I practiced the exercises on the balcony every day, and my mother watched me. She refused my invitation to do the exercises together, however.
At one point, her vertigo flared up and she was unable to eat for several days. She felt dizzy and wanted to vomit but couldn't. I asked her to do the exercises with me but she said that she couldn’t stand up because of her dizziness. I suggested she try. She stood up and learned the first exercise. When she did the exercise the second time, she rushed to the restroom and vomited. She felt much better.
A few days later she was fully recovered without taking any medicine. However, she didn’t want to do the exercises. I told her some Fa principles that I understood from Master’s teachings. She listened to me and even asked some questions. I realized that it was good to keep telling her the truth! People are listening even though they have resistance on the surface.
I understand more why Master said, “Righteous thoughts can save people of the world”. When I clarified the truth to my parents in the past I had a strong attachment and my words were not powerful. My strong attachment and hurtful words cannot save people.
I had another important understanding. I should start by telling people how wonderful Falun Dafa is. I remember that when I told my parents that I had begun practicing, although they weren't happy about it, they didn’t object because they felt it kept me healthy. My husband pointed out, “You shouldn't keep telling them that the CCP is not good and that China under the CCP is no good. They feel you are tearing apart their sense of identity. No one can bear your accusations and criticisms!” An ordinary person could see this so clearly. I must pay attention and cultivate solidly and cherish every conflict to cultivate myself.
Clarifying the truth is a good cultivation process, especially clarifying the truth to family members. Every phone call is a test for me. Have I been polite? Have I shown off by saying something even though I wasn't sure of the facts? Have I hung onto grievances? Have I measured everything according to the Fa? Every phone call is a chance to improve myself and to have a breakthrough.
My parents are still blinded by the CCP’s lies and swayed by its propaganda. This also means that I should improve myself when I talk with them. Whether I can control myself well and not make things worse, depends on how well I've internalized the teachings and if I measure everything with the Fa.
“One should always improve xinxing.” ( Zhuan Falun)
“When your xinxing is improved, your gong will increase.” (Zhuan Falun)