Cultivation Experience of a Young Practitioner Born in the 90s
(Minghui.org) I am a Falun Dafa practitioner who was born after the 90s.
Enlightenment Through a Dream
Recently my maternal grandmother, who is also a Falun Dafa practitioner, had a dream. In the dream, I was with her. She saw a vast ocean and mudslides coming towards us. My grandmother wanted me to run with her, however, after running for a while, I refused to run any further. My grandmother kept running. When looking back she saw the flood and mudslides coming very close to me. She ran back towards me, and then dragged me along. We jumped over a deep ditch made by the flood and started to run for our lives.
We ran past a village, and there were still a lot of villagers. My grandmother transformed her mouth into a set of big speakers, and yelled: “Sentient beings, run now, mudslides and a flood is coming your way, run now!” At the first house she saw, she pushed opened the doors and told the people: “There are mudslides coming, run now!” No matter how my grandmother urged them, they did not seem to care nor believe her.
Running back onto the road, my grandmother saw two people and said: “A flood and mudslides are coming, run now!” One of the onlookers said in disbelief: “I don’t see any flood or mudslides.” My grandmother and I kept running. We ran up to a hill and saw a black pole rising up from the ground, emitting poisonous gas. My grandmother had a plastic bag with which she covered both of our heads, Inside the plastic bag we were able to breathe clean and fresh air. We bypassed the poisonous gas and saw that it spread in all other directions. We looked behind us and saw very few people following us.
We then saw a Mongolian yurt, opened the door, and entered. Someone approached us and said that we had to show him the soles of our feet, so he could check for our inborn quality. Others were very happy after being checked for their inborn quality, but as for me, I still felt drowsy, and my feet were numb. A while later, someone was knocking on the door. My grandmother asked: “What's going on?” Someone in the yurt said that people outside were trying to come in. The person who was checking my foot said: “No one can come in now. It’s too late”. Gradually, the knocking stopped.
It was during our morning exercises when my grandmother was telling me about this dream. She wanted to tell me about the dream because she noticed that I was being lazy and did not want to practice the exercises. After I had done the exercises, I thought about what happened in the dream. With imminent danger right in front of me, I was still looking restless and absentminded. I had to be even dragged along by a practitioner and had no feelings when someone was checking for my inborn quality. I enlightened that I needed to be more clear-minded.
Recently, I was attached to browsing as to what the media was saying about storing food, goods and other materials. I started to store food and goods by buying them online, or in stores without telling my grandmother. I was also attached to using coupons and checking for the cheapest stores. If I bought something at a decent price, I would feel very satisfied. Isn’t this an attachment to personal gain and profit? On top of that, I started to share with my colleague as to which type of rice could be stored the longest, where to buy inexpensive materials, or what was on the news today. All this was for showing off myself.
I could not focus on studying the Fa for as long as I used to and could not keep up with practicing the exercises. I was also lacking behind on doing the three things. Back then, I used to leave my smartphone at my workplace, and brought home an older model cellphone. When I got home, I would usually read books. This way, I restrained myself from being attached to cellphones and browsing for the news. However, I started to bring my cellphone back home, and would constantly be on my phone. I even began to watch television dramas.
One morning while practicing the exercises, I remembered Master’s Fa:
“Then, before we Consummate, we’ll always have ordinary human thoughts and behavior during the course of our cultivation.” (Teaching the Fa at the Conference in Singapore)
“You probably understand the principle I just discussed: “Oh, so that’s why people might have bad thoughts the whole time they cultivate. From now on I won’t worry about them, I’m not afraid of them anymore. I’ll just let them go however they want to.” That’s unacceptable! Since you’re a cultivator, if you don’t exercise self-control at the surface level, it’s the same as not cultivating. That’s how these things are related.” (Teaching the Fa at the Conference in Singapore)
I realized that I needed to watch my thoughts. I never took the initiative of cultivating my state of mind but ignored it, let it slip past me, and wasn't worried about my main consciousness. When I watched the news, I followed the crowd blindly thinking: “Will I starve? Will prices be inflated? Will I lose my job? How will I support myself financially? What will happen to my family?” Using all kinds of ordinary methods to suffer less during this epidemic, I never once thought this was a chance to improve, and to eliminate ordinary thoughts. Thus, I told myself that I should not accept it, and I should let go of ordinary things once and for all. However, I was still lost in ordinary society. After realizing what I should do, I started to focus on my thoughts, eliminating all that was not righteous for a cultivator.
“In the past, after climbing into a cave with the help of a rope, a practitioner would cut off the rope to practice in the cave. If this person could not succeed in cultivation, he would die inside it. Without food or water, it was under this very special circumstance that he resorted to this particular cultivation method.” (Lecture Eight, Zhuan Falun)
I thought that cultivators of the past led a harsh life. If they did not reach consummation in a cave that they were cultivating in, they would die inside the cave. If it was me, would I have slacked off in cultivation? The answer is no. Because if one was not diligent, one would die in that cave.
I continued to look for the reason why I cultivated. Master said:
“Many of you have the heart to truly attain the Tao, which, of course, is the purpose of cultivation practice. The ultimate goal of cultivation practice is to attain the Tao and complete cultivation.” (Lecture One, Zhuan Falun)
Death cannot be compared to not being able to reach consummation. Not being able to assimilate with the Fa is by far worse than not being able to make it out of the cave. And yet, I still think about dying, and not being able to make it out of the cave. Being afraid of death is an attachment, an attachment of selfishness. Is this fake cultivation?
This attachment is a reflection of not being diligent in cultivation. Because of the comfortable environment, my cultivation started to slack off. Back then, when the evil was rampant nonstop, I would study the Fa whenever there was a problem. But, that was only for me to get rid of my own suffering. My cultivation was not pure, I used Dafa to appease myself, and had the heart of pursuit. I felt remorseful deep down inside. After being aware of this attachment, I adjusted the basis of my cultivation. The basis of cultivation is to obtain the Tao and complete cultivation, cultivate away all selfish thoughts and assimilate to Dafa. If it’s all about me, that is fake cultivation, everything would be in vain.
Cultivating at my Workplace
When my supervisor and colleagues at work expressed their ideas and thoughts about themselves, thinking their ideas were the best, they were always forcing their ideas on someone else. Taking a step back and reflecting on myself I realized that I did exactly the same. When I would express my ideas, I wanted people to agree with me, and that agreeing that my ideas were absolutely correct. This is the mentality of showing off. When I was unjustly treated at work, I would cry at home wanting to quit my job and go find a better job. My grandmother said: “Let’s say you did quit, your next job would still be the same as this one. There will be supervisors just like the one you have now.”
Master said: “Even though you are a Dafa disciple, your work in society isn't cultivation, but your cultivation will be reflected in your work in society.” (Teaching the Fa in San Francisco, 2005)
I knew deep down inside that my workplace did not bother me, but it was because I had to eliminate all of my attachments after looking inward, and raise my xinxing.
One time my supervisor brought some figs from home and distributed them to everyone. As soon as I saw my inedible broken figs on my desk, I was upset. The figs on my colleague's table looked fine and were edible. I thought: “This is unfair, she always treats other people better. I would clean the workplace every day, and be left with the dirty and tiresome chores, besides that my colleagues do less work than I do. It is fine if you don’t compliment me. But, why do you still have to treat me like that? This is too much.” The more I thought about it the angrier I got.
After calming down I decided that ordinary people have their own state of mind and level of enlightenment, so why should I argue with them? Isn’t my heart moved when I look outward and pick at other people’s shortcomings? Sometimes when you are mistreated by someone, maybe you’ve mistreated him badly in a previous life. I started to look inward, and found many attachments such as resentment, jealously, being materialistic, requiring people to return favors, selfishness, as well as placing what I think and feel before anyone else’s. There exists a selfish mentality behind all the above attachments. After digging out these attachments, I did not feel as angry.
Master said: “Think about it, everyone: Living to prove one’s point or to save face—isn’t it tiring? Isn’t it painful? ” (Lecture Nine, Zhuan Falun)
After reading an experience sharing where a practitioner shared that she picked up a nail that fell on the ground at her workplace, I cleaned my workplace, I picked up a safety pin and put it in the garbage. I thought that if the practitioner picked up something as small as a nail, I can also do the same. Before, I rode on the company’s motorcycle and charged my cellphone at my workplace. However, whatever belongs to my workplace should rightfully stay there. In addition, everybody charged their cellphones at my workplace, thinking that it is more convenient. But in reality, this is an attachment of self-interest, as I would not waste any electricity at home.
Thinking about my attachment to self-interest, there was also an incident that happened recently. I was going to buy green beans and saw that the prices were inflated quite a bit, but still bought some anyway. During checkout, the cashier miscalculated by 10 yuan. I pretended not to notice and left. Isn’t this just another way of deceiving myself? I returned and asked the cashier if she miscalculated. She double-checked the price and said: “I did miscalculate, you could have walked away. You are really a good person.” As she fixed the price difference, she kept saying: “You are really a good person.” She decided to also give me an extra handful of green beans. I said: “I cultivate Falun Dafa, Falun Dafa practitioners are all like this.” At that moment, I felt as if my attachment to self-interest had been eliminated.
There are No Coincidences in Cultivation
At home, I recollected what happened. Everything happened for a reason. There are no coincidences in cultivation since I still have the attachment of self-interest. At first, I thought that the price of the green beans was too expensive, but I still bought it anyway. When the cashier miscalculated, it was to test whether my heart would be moved or not. When the cashier gave me some extra green beans, I accepted it voluntarily, and thought it wasn’t wrong since I did not ask for it. However I could have rejected it, I was not firm enough, and my attachment of self-interest still existed. I need to do better next time.
I realized that there are rules and standards for everyday persons, but amidst the warped, modern day society, these rules and standards can’t be regulated. How can I be instilling these negative things in me?
Before I thought there were so many human attachments, such as the attachment of self-interest, lust, jealously, holding a grudge, and thinking that cultivation was really hard. Now, I understand the root of all of this is: selfishness. Selfishness has different variations, but in the end it is all the same. After discovering the origins of all of my attachments, eliminating them wasn’t as hard as I thought.
Thinking over my cultivation path, I remember that I experienced many ups and downs. From a naive cultivator I moved on to being able to look inward. Dafa has truly changed me, eliminating these attachments are now much easier.