Getting Rid of Fear After Spending Over 14 Years in Prison
(Minghui.org) My life dramatically changed after I started practicing Falun Dafa in 1996. I realized that Dafa is an advanced practice of Buddha school cultivation, and I have benefited a lot from it.
When I was in middle school, two of my teachers had been persecuted by the Chinese Communist Party (CCP). I also learned how the CCP ordered the army to attack students and other people in Tiananmen Square during the June 4 massacre in 1989. After going through these political campaigns, I formed an attachment of fear.
When the CCP launched the persecution of Falun Dafa on July 20, 1999, I thought that the state-run media broadcast slanderous propaganda because the government did not know the facts about Falun Dafa, so I believed it was my responsibility to clarify the truth to them.
Years in Detention
Since the persecution was severe, I had to truly let go of life and death in order to go out and talk to people.
I went to Beijing on July 23, 1999, and again on October 12. I was then illegally arrested, and sentenced to a three-year prison term.
A Chinese prison is a harsh environment; but I never forgot that I was a Dafa disciple. I was determined to tell the people around me about the persecution, so I told people about my wonderful experiences of practicing Falun Dafa, and about the slanderous propaganda that was being spread in the media. I also wrote letters to the prison authorities to let them know the truth.
It wasn't long after my release that I was arrested again in February 2003. In the detention center, four of us practitioners worked together to let people know about the CCP's evil nature. The guards gave me an assignment to write about my thoughts, so I wrote about the CCP's malevolent nature of persecuting good people. One of the inmates assigned to monitor me read out my article at a meeting attended by more than 100 people, which helped me to eliminate my fear of the CCP, and strengthened my righteous thoughts.
I was sent to a provincial brainwashing center during the 18th National Party Congress in 2012. A guard put a picture of Master Li on the ground and ordered me to step on it. I refused, picked up Master’s picture, and held it close to my chest.
I was later called upstairs, and saw slogans slandering Dafa posted on the wall. I hesitantly tore one down, but then remembered that I was a Fa rectification period Dafa disciple, and had the responsibility of defending Master and Dafa. I knew that Master was looking after me, so I let go of my fear and tore up all of the posters.
In the spring of 2013, I was held in a detention center in another county. An inmate handed me a pen and paper, and asked me to write down what I knew about Falun Dafa. When I had finished I told him to pass it on the inmates in all the different sections.
After reading my article, I heard some people shout, “Falun Dafa is good!”
I felt happy for them.
I was told that I would be detained for ten days; but on the fifth day, I shouted out, “Heaven Does Not Tolerate the CCP” and “The Chinese Communist Party Is an Evil Cult.”
I was released the following day.
The Domestic Security Division arrested a fellow practitioner, and ransacked her home in April 2014, confiscating tens of thousands of yuan that her daughter had saved, without giving her a receipt.
Several practitioners and I went to see the head of the Domestic Security Division. Four of us were arrested, and I was sentenced to four years in prison.
As I was going outside to the prison yard once, I passed twelve cells, with many people held in each cell. I saw so many precious, but lost Chinese people, so I told them about the goodness of Dafa, and asked them to say “Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good.” The words were repeated in unison, and some of the inmates yelled out, “Long live Master Li Hongzhi,” and “Down with the Chinese Communist Party.”
Overcoming Fear of Talking to People in Public
After a total of 14-and-a-half-years in unlawful detention, I have to stay diligent in assisting Master with Fa-rectification. Because I was not used to talking to people in public, I realized that I should let go of my fear of the CCP once and for all.
When I went out with other practitioners, I learned to overcome my fear by watching them. I saw how they held up the information booklets making it easier for predestined people to see the materials.
One time, I was holding a pamphlet when someone reached out, and took several copies from my bag. So did another woman. I asked them why they took so many, and they said that dozens of households in their community were waiting to read them.
A man once requested eight copies of the pamphlet titled The Ultimate Goal of Communism, saying that seven of his friends were waiting to read it. I gave him the only pamphlet I had left.
Another man told me that he went looking for pamphlets about Dafa every day.
I ran into someone who was returning to his hometown. He asked me for enough pamphlets for dozens of households. I felt so happy for these awakened people. They are waiting to hear the truth, so we should work harder to save more of them.
While I was distributing brochures one time, I saw someone taking photos of me. My heart was not moved, and I kept doing what I was supposed to do. I knew that Master is always there to help us, and that having a firm faith in Master and Dafa is fundamental.
I can now tell people the truth openly and honorably, and do well fulfilling my historical vows.
A few days after a large parade took place in Hong Kong, three police officers from our community came knocking on my door. I invited them in, but they refused, and accused me of “getting political.”
I said: “Do you say that because we help people quit the CCP? Think about it, we are descendants of the earliest Chinese Emperors Yan and Huang. We're Chinese. We don’t follow Marx and Lenin.”
Upon hearing this, they quietly left. But before they did, I told them to remember “Falun Dafa is good, and Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good.”
I then remembered Master’s words,
“…cultivators have no enemies…” (“Turning the Wheel Towards the Human World,” The Essentials of Diligent Progress Vol. III)
The root of fear is selfishness. I want to step out of selfishness and cultivate myself to selflessness and altruism, fulfill my prehistoric vows, and go back to my origins with Master.