(Minghui.org) Toward the end of 2017, I felt a hard lump in my lower right abdomen. It was slightly larger than a table tennis ball and hard to the touch. I knew this was a false manifestation and I did not worry that it was a health issue. Over the years I had had different symptoms, which had vanished within minutes or days after I elevated in levels or sent forth righteous thoughts. Since Master Li had already purified my body to a disease-free state, this must have occurred for me to improve my mind!
Searching inward, I uncovered jealousy, lust, competitiveness, hatred, grievances, and attachments to loss and gain. I started sending forth righteous thoughts to clear away these bad thoughts. Because these attachments were now firmly entrenched, eliminating them required repeated effort. From time to time, emotional images and sounds linked to these attachments would appear, stimulating negative human emotions, which frustrated and discouraged me.
Master said,
“If this sentimentality is not relinquished, you will be unable to practice cultivation. If you are free from this sentimentality, nobody can affect you. An everyday person’s mind will be unable to sway you. What takes over in its place is benevolence, which is something more noble.” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)
Master taught us to eliminate human emotions to cultivate godhood. How can a practitioner remain driven by human emotions? These negative attachments had to be eliminated and I knew many practitioners had overcome similar obstacles. I continued to do what was required of a Dafa practitioner, though there were occasional relapses.
Gradually, the left side of my abdomen became really swollen. Unable to lie on my left side due to pain, I was forced to lie on my right or back to sleep. The swelling began to extend upward and toward my back. I began to eat and drink less, because the swelling put pressure on my stomach. Worse still, the increased pressure on my bladder made me incontinent. Though I refrained from eating and drinking whenever I ventured out to clarify the facts, I was often unable to reach a toilet in time and wet myself.
The following winter I had to change my cotton pants frequently. By then, my incontinence had worsened and the bitter cold made my wet cotton pants unbearably cold. Fortunately, my huge down jacket covered most of my pants, successfully hiding my wet pants from view and allowing me to rush home at the earliest opportunity to change. While bathing at my usual public bath, an attendant casually asked, “What’s growing in your belly? It's so big and hard.” I then changed to another public bath.
During this period, I continued to send righteous thoughts. I would tell that entity: “If I have hurt you in the past, please forgive me. Now I am a Dafa practitioner committed to saving people. I must fulfill my vow and help Master in this Fa-rectification period! There is no place in the new universe for bad entities that interfere with practitioners in validating the Fa. Leave my body if you wish to secure a better future for yourself.”
I continued to do the three things but found myself less diligent than before. I spent less time clarifying the facts and, as I watched my stomach continue to expand, began to feel helpless and depressed.
I wondered, “Should I buy two more pairs of pants? I might have difficulty replacing them.” These negative human thoughts began to invade my mind. However, I knew that, even if I bought the extra pants, my problem remained unsolved. Moreover, I would have acknowledged this interference imposed by the old forces and presented ordinary people with a negative impression of Dafa.
Over the years, many people I met started to believe in the goodness of Dafa after seeing its positive effects on my health. Some even started to cultivate. My condition would undoubtedly affect the salvation of sentient beings, despite my firm, unwavering belief in Dafa and Master.
During this period, I discovered two attachments. The first was my reliance on Master in this desperate situation, instead of searching inward and cultivating. As a result, these attachments would surface again and again.
Many practitioners have written experience sharing articles about overcoming illness tribulations, and I realized I had yet to reach their realm of understanding. Although I know each practitioner’s cultivation path is different, I would wonder, “What should I do? Why is this thing still here?” I knew I should refrain from following others blindly, ignoring my problem and feeling depressed and that I should focus on validating the Fa while letting go of my attachments and fears.
The old forces had slowly twisted my thoughts: “To be safe, buy two more pairs of pants, otherwise you may find yourself with nothing to change into. When you go out to clarify the facts, eat and drink less. Remember to return home early so you can change your pants.” When a person’s mind has strayed from the Fa, evil forces will exploit such gaps. As Master said, “…matter and mind are one thing.” (Lecture One, Zhuan Falun) Bad thoughts will encourage the existence of evil entities.
On March 12, 2019, I was reading the experience sharing article “My Understandings Regarding the Power of Righteous Thoughts” on the Minghui website when I had an epiphany. Despite knowing the importance of sending righteous thoughts, I continued to feel depressed and helpless, persistent manifestations of my human thoughts. Weren’t these negative emotions arranged by the old forces?
Suddenly alert, I immediately thought of Master’s article “Expounding on the Fa” from Essentials for Further Advancement:
“If it continues endlessly and if there do not exist other problems in your xinxing or conduct, it must be that the evil demons are capitalizing on the weak spots caused by your lack of control. After all, a cultivator is not an ordinary human. So why doesn’t the side of you that is your original nature rectify the Fa?”
After reading this passage twice, I realized that I had failed to correct my original nature and had understood only the surface of the Fa, choosing to endure this tribulation blindly. By doing so, I had accidentally nourished this evil entity for more than a year.
Although I had been reading this passage from the moment of its publication in 1997, I had not truly understood it. After studying it carefully, I now understand a little more with regard to how practitioners should deal with tribulations. By allowing our original and divine side to dominate, everything will be rectified by the Fa. Our original side will then help clear away the evil that interferes with our progress in the Fa-rectification.
I then sent forth strong righteous thoughts to disintegrate all evil interfering with Fa-rectification. I also sought help from Master. In an instant, my mind was clear and my only thoughts were of eliminating the evil beings. I continued to send forth righteous thoughts for 45 minutes, with a clear mind and relaxed body. I knew for certain that the interfering entity had been removed by Master and was now gone from my body. When I came to my senses, I lifted my blouse and saw that my stomach was flat and my abdomen had returned to normal.
A few days later, I went to the public baths, weighed myself, and saw that I’d gone from a hundred to 94 pounds. Master and Dafa saved my life, allowing me to continue assisting Master in validating the Fa. My gratitude and admiration cannot be expressed in words.
With this sharing, I hope to remind fellow practitioners of the importance of sending forth righteous thoughts and eliminating the evil forces.
Category: Improving Oneself
