Dafa Changed My Husband and Me
(Minghui.org) My family lives in the countryside, and we bought an apartment in the city. We left the apartment vacant for two years because my husband was unwilling to move to the city. He felt the air in the rural area was better, he needed to take care of our land, and he knew people in the village well, but didn't know anyone in the city. Thus, I ended up moving to the city by myself. My husband came to live with me some time later, in the winter.
Our child got married and moved away. With the help of fellow practitioners, I established a Dafa material production site. Every morning, I go out with practitioners to clarify the truth about Falun Dafa. In the afternoon, we study the Fa together. When my husband was at the apartment he had no objection to the practitioners being there. Sometimes I was too busy to do household chores and asked him to help. He would usually agree to do some work around the house.
In the winter, when my husband was in the city with me, I was very happy and thought that I now had a helping hand and my meals would be ready when I returned home from talking with people. But things were not as I thought they would be. He didn’t help with anything. He just sat on the couch watching TV day and night.
We didn’t have much to talk about, but when we did talk he would yell at me and display a bad attitude. As time went by, my heart became heavier and heavier. Sometimes I looked inward to find my problem, sometimes I asked him to help me to do some work, but he was very reluctant to help.
Once, I asked him to wash the floor, but when he finished, I told him that the floor still wasn't clean. He shouted at me, “Don't say that to me, otherwise I will not live here.” I tolerated his behavior but wondered why he became like this? Sometimes I couldn’t help yelling a few words back at him.
When sharing with practitioners, I told them that my husband was not doing anything at home. Someone said: “We are cultivators. Isn’t this an opportunity for you to improve?” Right, if cultivators have no conflicts, and everyone is nice to each other, how can we cultivate? My husband was helping me to improve, yet, I hadn't thanked him. I had only blamed him.
Then, I studied the Fa more and looked inward. I’ve been cultivating for so many years, but still have attachments like jealousy, resentment, looking down on others, feelings of unfairness, and selfishness. Whenever something happened, my heart would be driven by ordinary people’s notions. So many human notions were caused by not strictly following the requirements of Dafa. I wanted to correct myself based on the Dafa principles. These attachments were not mine, and I didn't want them.
“If your heart is always very kind and compassionate, you will usually have breathing room and space to think when situations come up unexpectedly.” (The Fourth Talk, Zhuan Falun)
After studying the Fa and cultivating my xinxing, I changed a lot. I showed a good attitude toward my husband, and even prepared water for him to wash his feet every day. The atmosphere at home was no longer tense. Sometimes he sang songs and proactively did some house chores, such as cooking, and cleaning. He also suggested, "It's getting cold, you need to put something warm on."
My husband used to have poor health including high blood pressure and heart disease. I always wanted him to start Dafa cultivation. Once, when I was studying the Fa, I said to him, “Let's study the Fa together.” He said, “You do it on your own.” I said, “I get sleepy when studying alone, if two of us study together, I won’t feel that way.” He said, “Then I will join you.”
Thus he studied the Fa with me every day; but he didn’t do the exercises. I said to him, “If you did the exercises in the morning, you wouldn't have to go outside to exercise during the day." He agreed, and began doing the Falun Dafa exercises with me. Thank you Master. It’s Master who let my husband walk into Dafa.
One morning after the meditation exercise, I asked him: “Why did you uncross your legs? Did they hurt? “He said, “It didn't hurt, but my mind was not quiet, and I was thinking about many things.” I said: “If it happens again, say to yourself: It’s not me, I don’t want to think so much, it’s not me.” When I finished talking he shouted, “You shut up!” I looked at him, and wondered why he was so angry with me? I complained to him in my mind.
Master said: “...because whoever has acquired the karma feels uncomfortable. It is guaranteed to be this way.” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)
My husband was helping me to improve. I understood that I should look inward, cultivate myself, and shouldn’t blame him. I should thank him.
Once we were studying Master’s lectures, and were sharing a book. When it was my turn to read, his mind wandered, and he picked up a stool and looked at it. I said, “We are studying the Fa, you are not concentrating.” He immediately turned to me and said: “Aren't I listening? I quit, you read by yourself.” Then he walked away.
My heart ached and I started wondering what went wrong. I looked inward. Didn't I do the same thing sometimes when studying the Fa? I realized that I needed to study the Fa more. I dug deeper in my heart to find my attachments and get rid of them.
One day, my husband told me that when he was doing the exercises, he felt that his heart was moved bit by bit, and that Master had given him a new one. He used to be in poor health. Because of a previous stroke, he had to be hospitalized every spring. Now he’s in good health, his blood pressure is normal without taking any medication, he looks very healthy, and has found a job in the city.
He has changed, has a smile on his face, is willing to talk about things that happened at work, and helps me cook meals. When he has time, he helps me put together copies of the book The Ultimate Goal of Communism by cutting paper, stapling pages, packing books in cartons, or sharpening a cutting blade. He repairs the paper cutter when it doesn't work. Thus, he has joined our project of making books.
I said to my husband, "You have changed." He replied, "I changed because you have changed" Thank you, Master, it is Dafa who changed me and my husband.