An Amazing Thing Happened When I Let Go of My Resentment
(Minghui.org) I suffered from rheumatoid arthritis for most of my life. I tried every Chinese herbal medicine and treatment, but nothing helped. During one of the most emotionally traumatic events of my life, my arthritis disappeared. I'd like to tell you my story.
I began practicing Falun Dafa in 1997. Since I had little education I only knew that Falun Dafa is good. Although I very diligently did the exercises, my understanding of the deeper meanings of the teachings was very shallow. In 1999 when the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) started to persecute Dafa, they took away my books. I was frightened so I stopped practicing for 11 years.
On June 26, 2010 my husband died in a car accident. This sudden heavy blow nearly caused me to suffer a mental breakdown. I wept every day. Despite the persecution, my older sister continued to practice Falun Dafa. When she saw that I was struggling to come to terms with my husband’s death, she persuaded me to resume practicing and suggested I start by reading Zhuan Falun. Every day she and I studied the Fa and did the exercises. She encouraged me to continue.
After my sister left, I began reading the teachings with local practitioners. They were very happy to see me and encouraged me. My depression lifted after constantly studying the Fa and deepening my understanding. I was no longer attached to my grief over losing my husband. I began to do the three things with the other practitioners and I kept myself busy clarifying the truth and saving people.
The year my husband passed away, our son was in his early 20s. I had to take care of everything. The insurance company compensated my family a total of three hundred and thirty thousand yuan. Of that amount, thirteen thousand and two hundred fifty yuan was given to my mother-in-law, and the rest of the money was given to my son and me. My mother-in-law lived with my sister-in-law, and she took her mother to handle the insurance settlement. When the insurance company notified both of us to come and collect the money, the compensation was given on the condition that both parties agreed and signed the documents. However my sister-in-law thought the amount was too small, so they did not go.
Since my sister-in-law was not satisfied, I thought I should give my mother-in-law more money so I offered to give her fifty thousand yuan. My mother-in-law is over 80 years old, and life has been not easy for her.
I am a Dafa practitioner, and I knew that I should not be attached to money. I felt that my son and I could spend less. So I asked my son to tell his grandmother and aunt. My son was quite reasonable, but when he told his grandmother and aunt about this, instead of agreeing, my sister-in-law demanded ninety thousand yuan. She said she would take us to court if we did not give her the money.
I was quite upset when my son came back and told me about her response. I thought, “Your son and brother suddenly passed away. Instead of grieving over his death you just want to get rich.”
At that moment, I forgot that I was a practitioner. I felt that they were bullying us and my tears would not stop flowing. I asked my son what we should do. He said they had already filed a lawsuit with the court, and we needed to hire a lawyer. He told me that I didn’t need to get involved, and I should just let him and the lawyer deal with it.
The case started in the spring but by autumn, there was still no progress. What should we do? I calmed down and reminded myself that I am a Falun Dafa practitioner. I should not fight like an ordinary person. Instead I should be compassionate. I needed to behave according to the principles of Falun Dafa.
“What attitude should we cultivators adopt towards loss and gain? It is different from that of ordinary people. What ordinary people want is personal interests, how to lead a good and comfortable life. But we cultivators are different. On the contrary, we would not seek what ordinary people want. Moreover, what we achieve is something desired but unachievable by ordinary people, unless they should cultivate. ”
“Our school is directly aimed at human nature. Whether personal interests and person to person conflicts can be cared little about and treated lightly or not is the crux of the matter. ” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)
If I fought with ordinary people, was I a practitioner? I needed to let go of my interests and benefits. When we practitioners give up money, human attachments, and selfishness, what we gain is virtue, the elevation of our xinxing and we can rise in cultivation levels. As soon as I understood and truly let go, I immediately relaxed and felt light and happy.
I told my son, “If your aunt and grandma want ninety thousand yuan, then let us give it to them. They are our elders. Your grandmother’s health is much more important than any money.” My other children all agreed after I talked with them. The next day I phoned my lawyer and told him. He seemed reluctant, but when he saw that I was quite determined, he just did as I asked.
We gave ninety thousand yuan to my mother-in-law, and we also paid the lawyer twenty thousand yuan. One third of the compensation was gone. Although I had less money, I felt very light, as though a huge burden was removed from me!
My rheumatoid arthritis, which hadn’t stopped troubling me for years, was gone! I truly thank Master for helping dissolve the resentment between my mother-in-law, my sister-in-law and myself.
Every year I visit my mother-in-law during the Chinese New Year and on her birthday. I make sure to bring her money and gifts. My mother-in-law holds my hands and praises me for being filial. This year, when I went to visit her for the Chinese New Year, I sincerely wished her all the best.