(Minghui.org)
It Is Painful to Look at the Past
I was born into a farmer’s family in the southern mountainous area in China. I have seven siblings and our family was very poor. My father was beaten and hurt during the Cultural Revolution and as a result, his temper was very bad. He often beat us and cursed at my mother. We were all really afraid of him. My family also moved into a village and were seen as newcomers so we were bullied a lot.
Growing up in this kind of environment made me very rebellious. As I got older, I hung out with gangsters and gradually became unable to distinguish good from bad. All I was interested in was getting money by any means, enjoying myself, and eating. I was very self-centered and only cared about having a good time; I never considered others.
My mother worked very hard for the family, but instead of showing my appreciation, I would get angry and curse at her if she made dinner just a little late or if the food she cooked didn't taste good.
Once, my father was beating my brother for no reason, so I viciously cursed at him in front of many villagers. My behavior was totally against Chinese moral values. On the surface it seemed as though I was tired of him beating my family members, but in fact I behaved badly due to the growing evil inside me.
I began to suffer a lot of misfortune in life. First, I partnered with a friend to do business, but he tricked me and took a ton of money from me. Because he was more powerful than I was I couldn’t do anything about it.
In 1995 I went in with a number of people to illegally log trees and when we were discovered by forest rangers I was arrested. There were many others who cut more trees but I was the only one arrested. Then, in the news it was said that I destroyed 50 acres of forest by myself. My family ended up spending a lot of money to get me out of trouble.
I then rented some land and worked extremely hard planting watermelons. Every day before dawn I would go to the field to manually fertilize the soil. But fate played a joke on me. Just when the watermelons were almost ripe, it rained continuously for several days and they were all destroyed. I was totally defeated by one misfortune after another.
Life felt completely hopeless and living felt so tiring and difficult. All sorts of crazy things went through my mind and sometimes I even wanted to kill those who had harmed me. At night I was often woken up by nightmares. Things were so messed up.
Just as things were going from bad to worse, I dreamed I saw Buddha Shakyamuni and Bodhisattva Guanyin with tears in their eyes. I told my mother about it and wondered why I had such a strange dream.
Reborn after Practicing Dafa
I will never forget August 12, 1996 as that was the day I attended an introduction to Falun Dafa while working in another city. I had tried other Qigongs in the past and was just curious and wanted to see what Master Li Honghzi (the founder) looked like. So I walked several miles to a Fa-study site to watch a video of Master Li lecturing.
I was watching the lecture with a cigarette in my mouth and a practitioner said, “It’s best not to smoke here because there are a lot of people and it’s a small room with not much air circulation.” I immediately threw the cigarette away. From then on I never wanted to smoke again. I didn’t have any desire at all. But before that, my smoking addiction was very strong. I had tried many times to quit but failed. Dafa is so miraculous.
In the past I used to swear a lot; but after practicing Dafa, I instantly felt ashamed when I said even a single swear word.
Dafa has shown me so many miracles. My heart was awakened by it and the principles of “Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance” have made me understand what good and bad really are. I now understand that one's real goal in life is to return to one's true self.
We must first become good people in society, be considerate of others, and look within when encountering conflicts. Master told us,
“From now on, whatever you do, you should consider others first, so as to attain the righteous Enlightenment of selflessness and altruism.” (“Non-Omission in Buddha-Nature” Falun Dafa Essentials For Further Advancement)
I feel extremely honored to be Master’s disciple.
Firmly Believing in Dafa No Matter How Difficult
On July 20, 1999, led by dictator Jiang Zemin, the Chinese Communist regime launched a brutal persecution of Falun Dafa. They viciously defamed Master and tortured both Dafa practitioners and their families. Their lies poisoned people around the globe, and especially the mainland Chinese people. As a result, many Chinese people began to resent Dafa practitioners.
Just like the tens of millions of other Dafa disciples, I tried my best to clarify the facts to people. For doing that, I was sentenced to jail twice, sent to a forced labor camp, and put in detention centers many times. During 20 years of persecution I suffered all kinds of torture, including hanging, “aircraft lockdown,” burning, “tiger bench,” and so on. But my belief in Falun Dafa never wavered. Master was taking care of me and protecting me during the most difficult times. For example, when the guards slapped my face dozens of times, my face did not swell, nor did I feel any pain.
In August 2017, right before I was about to be released, a prison guard told me that I had to sign the three statements. I told them, “You cannot force me to do this, this is not good for you either. Do not participate in this persecution.” I told the guards the facts about Falun Dafa, and a seemingly huge tribulation was resolved with Master’s compassionate protection. They did not pressure me to sign anymore and I righteously walked out of the jail without signing anything.
We Must Cultivate Ourselves Well in Order to Validate the Fa Well
Because I hadn't done a good job previously, my siblings were initially against me practicing Dafa. They even worked with Chinese Communist Party (CCP) agents to try to stop me from practicing. I sincerely talked to my younger brother and told him that I would do better. I worked hard to improve myself and often brought him Dafa information pamphlets. Now he understands the facts about the persecution. When I was released from jail, he talked about how great Dafa was in front of the people who worked at the police station and justice bureau.
My mother is now in her 80s and she has always believed that Dafa is good. But because of the persecution, she was often scared when I gave pamphlets to relatives and friends and asked me not to do it. I gave her a Dafa calendar but she tucked it away when I left home.
Once, I went to visit her and she told me that there were demons in her home that were trying to scare her. I said, “Normally, demons can't enter our homes because Master has cleared our environment. However, you have not truly believed in Dafa and you didn’t sincerely recite ‘Falun Dafa is good; Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good.’ Sometimes you stopped me from giving Dafa materials to people, and you are afraid to even hang up a Dafa calendar at home. You are over 80, What can those people do to you? Even I’m not afraid of them. What are you afraid of?” After that, she followed what I told her and there was no more interference from demons.
After a while my mother happily told me that she recited “Falun Dafa is good; Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good” when she felt pain in her bones, and the pains went away very quickly.
One of my sisters-in-law was against Falun Dafa. When I was in jail, some practitioners went to visit my mother and my sister-in-law cursed at them. In 2015, she got cancer and went to her daughter’s city for treatment. I called her and asked her to sincerely recite “Falun Dafa is good; Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good.” I told her to remove the load in her mind and keep her spirits high. I couldn’t physically visit her so I sent 1,000 yuan to her home.
She was touched by my kindness and she really followed everything I asked her to do. In the end, she only had one bout of chemotherapy and now her health is back to normal. She asked me to teach her the Dafa exercises and I promised her that I would.
Every time I go back to my hometown, I first go to the urban area to pick up some Dafa materials so I can bring them to the rural area. Because of this I often miss the last bus which leaves at around 6 p.m. But each time I am able to get home some other way. I only need to wave at passing trucks and the drivers happily give me a ride. One time, a driver even stopped to ask me if I needed a ride. After I got in the truck I would talk to the drivers about Falun Dafa and give them pamphlets or booklets.
Once, I went with several practitioners to a nearby county to share cultivation experiences with the practitioners there. It was raining very hard and so dark that we couldn’t see the road at all. We stopped and sent righteous thoughts. Once we arrived at the place, a practitioner said to us, “My son told me that there would be practitioners coming today. He saw in another dimension a fierce battle between good and evil forces and saw Master was with you.”
It is indeed true that Master is constantly next to us and protecting us.
As Dafa disciples, we really need to listen to Master, cultivate ourselves well, and fulfill what Master wants us to do.
