Looking Inward When My Husband Encounters a Tribulation
(Minghui.net) My husband and I are Falun Dafa practitioners. He recently went through a sickness tribulation.
Fake Sickness Karma
My husband once stopped practicing Dafa for a few years. A little over two years ago, he returned to Dafa.
Because he had been plagued by a diabetic disease, he had been studying the Fa and doing the exercises on one hand, and also taking medicine on the other. However, the effect of the medicine was not very good.
At this year's Qing Ming Festival, he paid a visit to the grave of his deceased parents in his hometown. He soon caught a cold, accompanied by fever and coughing.
He took medicine, but his body temperature was still around 38 ~ 39°C (100.4 ~ 102.2°F). After returning home, he insisted on listening to the audio Fa teachings, and he didn't take any more medicine.
After the high fever receded, he still had severe coughing along with asthma, which prevented him from lying down to sleep. Most of the time he leaned on the headboard of the bed.
He kept listening to the audio Fa teachings, and he recovered within about three days. However, his blood glucose index exceeded 16, while the normal person's value is no more than 7.
He said he might have obtained diabetic comorbidity. One morning, he measured his blood glucose again, and the level did not drop.
I asked him if he wanted to go to the hospital, or study the Fa and cultivate. He asked what I thought about it. I told him he needed to decide for himself. He still asked my opinion.
“We two need to talk,” I said.” During the past few days, whether you had a fever or a cough, you didn't take any medicine. It is a fact that Master helped you twice when you listened to the Fa teachings. If you treat your tribulation as diabetes, then you should go to the hospital, as ordinary people do that. If you can cultivate you won’t have any problem. Have you realized that Master has helped you twice?”
He said that he would take my suggestion. However, I told him that he needed to listen to Master's words, and do as Master said. He agreed with me.
After breakfast, we began to study the Fa together. The next few days, we sometimes studied one, two, or three lectures in Zhuan Falun, and sometimes Master’s other Fa teachings.
It was quite good in the first few days, and he seemed to recover from his illness karma. Two weeks later, he started feeling very thirsty. He kept drinking water, and went to the restroom frequently. The next day, he began to have lower back ache and stomachache.
Later, he couldn’t eat any food, and felt his stomach was full. He basically did not have a bowel movement or urination. According to his words, the passage was blocked. He even could not drink water. His stomachache hurt him so much, which made it very difficult to sleep during the daytime or at night.
Master Encouragement: Showing Other Dimensions
During that time, compassionate Master had been encouraging my husband and let him see some miraculous scenes. Once when he was doing the exercise of holding the Law wheel Master let him see another dimension.
He saw a moving golden scene, the multi-story houses were gold, the ground was gold, the trees were gold, everything was gold. People there wore robes, and they were all golden. Many people were there, and he was also golden. This scene lasted for about 16 minutes.
On the last night of his recovery, he dreamed that Master divided his internal organs into three piles, and cleaned everything including the gaps of the intestines.
Since then, he could eat anything. My husband's tribulation lasted for a month.
Looking Within and Improving my Cultivation
It was my husband who went through the sickness tribulation, and it seemed that it had nothing to do with me. But, I realized that no matter what the circumstances are, as a cultivator, I must look inward.
"...looking within is a magical tool." ("Fa Teaching at the 2009 Washington DC International Fa Conference", Collective Fa Teachings, Vol. IX)
I realized that I had to cultivate myself. When my husband was going through the sickness tribulation, I still went out to clarify the truth to people.
Once, I returned home from outside, and walked into the bedroom, I recognized my own shortcomings.
In the past, I tended to compare myself with him regarding who was doing better, even when I cooked food. I should not have the attachment of comparison and competition with him. I told myself: “I don’t want to have this attachment and need to eliminate it.” Since then, I got rid of my attachment for comparison that I had for quite a long time.
When my husband was suffering, I looked inward again and again. I felt that although he suffered from the sickness karma, there must be a cause from my side which contributed to his situation.
Because he usually did not say anything when he had a problem, if I could understand him more, and take better care of him, maybe he would feel better.
I should cultivate myself better in the future. Doesn't Dafa cultivation require us to consider others first?
When my husband was going through the sickness tribulation the most, I saw him suffering from thirst and going to the restroom again and again. I found that I was interfered with by the sentimentality of husband and wife, since I paid lots of attention to the number of times he drank water and went to the bathroom.
I said to myself: I need to get rid of this attachment. If I could not get rid of this attachment, he may just keep doing that for me. What is a fake sickness karma? If I am moved by sentimentality, then I take it as real even though I said it was fake. I want to get rid of this sentimentality.
I also had a strong attachment of anxiety. I hoped that he drink less water and go to the bathroom less often. I even counted how many times he went to the bathroom at night. I asked myself: What am I doing? Am I helping him? Clearly, I was not.
What I needed to do was to send forth the righteous thoughts together with him and disintegrate all the evil factors that were interfering with him.
We all walk along the path that Master has arranged for us. As I looked inward, I found that my xinxing was improved and it was really good to look inward.