[Minghui Fa Conference] Removing Attachments and Improving as One Body
(Minghui.org) I started practicing Falun Dafa not long ago. I understood the urgency of telling people the facts about Falun Dafa, but it is difficult for me to fulfill this task because I live in a remote village and there is no opportunity to meet Chinese people.
First Year Working on Minghui Translation
One year after I began to practice Dafa, I emailed Minghui's editors, asking if I could help with proofreading and podcast recording. A few days later, I was given a task to translate an English article into German. I was so thrilled. My husband is also a practitioner. Thus, we decided to do it together.
We divided the article into two parts. My husband worked on one part and I did the other. We then edited each other's translation and read the entire article together. This process seemed very simple and easy, but it was a very big step forward for me.
Eliminating the Attachment to Perfection and Inferiority
In the beginning, I was very happy that we could help Minghui translate articles. Both of us felt this is also an opportunity to clarify the truth. However, a few hours after the first article was translated, I started to wonder if this was a good approach.
“In some cases it has reached the point where couples have even considered divorce. Yet few practitioners have given much thought as to why this happens. Your spouse will have no explanation if you ask him to explain his anger after one of these episodes. He really won’t be able to, and will agree that he shouldn’t get so upset and allow his anger to flare like that. So what’s really going on, then? Your karma needs to be reworked for you as you go about your practice. Yet for that to happen, there have to be costs involved. But take heart in knowing that whatever costs are entailed, you will be better off for it.” (The Fourth Talk, Zhuan Falun)
Our harmonious marriage started to have cracks and I felt so helpless. The problem was attributable to my attachment to perfection. I put a lot of thought into every word I wrote. But, the changes he made to my translation made me feel inferior and that I was not good enough. Because of the attachment to fame, I was mad at him.
“How dare he correct my translation?” I thought. I defended my translation, even though his correction was closer to the original meaning and easier to be understood. I felt insulted and cried. To pay him back, I changed almost every word and sentence he wrote.
After I calmed down, I thought of what Master taught us. “For a cultivator, looking within is a magical tool.” (“Fa Teaching at the 2009 Washington DC International Fa Conference.”
I had to deal with my human notions and attachments. Reluctantly, I took a deep breath and asked Master for help.
I realized that I had an attachment of perfection, which was fully exposed in my translation task. I tried my best to get rid of it, but did not quite succeed. The attachment still depressed and tortured me. I cried, but I repeatedly forced myself to calm down.
After a while, I discussed with my husband to end our mutual proofreading. In the first few articles, I belligerently defended my translation. Seeing the final changes made by the editors, I doubted again and again about my translation ability. It was truly challenging for me.
I talked with my husband several times. After a while, I finally realized my attachment to perfection and slowly let it go.
Not Demanding Too High Standards
When a Minghui translation coordinator told me about the weekly meeting, I thought that I must be present in every meeting.
I worked a night shift. Everyday, I slept between 6 p.m. and 9 p.m. and attended the group Fa study and experience sharing before going to work after 11 p.m. I occasionally did not sleep at all before the work shift. Sometimes, I would leave work to attend the group Fa study in the early morning.
I demanded so much of myself that I almost had to sleep through the whole day on the weekends and did not send righteous thoughts at all. Sometimes, I fell asleep before the hour for sending righteous thoughts or during sending righteous thoughts.
A few weeks after the translation work started, I thought that I did the work because of my obligation. I could no longer work wholeheartedly. This mental state was also reflected in the quality of my translated articles. I knew this state should not last for too long and I must change.
“With anything there is always a process, whereby one goes from not being able to do something to being able to; and as one gradually gains experience and skills, one learns to do things well. There is indeed a process.” (”Fa Teaching Given at the Fa Conference Marking the Tenth Anniversary of Minghui’s Founding”, Collected Fa Teachings, Vol. X)
Cultivation is a process. I cannot reach a higher level at once. I was attached to removing the feeling of fatigue. I was exploited by the evil because of this weakness and could not send forth strong righteous thoughts.
I recognized this shortcoming and let go of it. My situation improved. With Master's help, I also eliminated some other attachments, and thus could accept the editing by fellow practitioners.
Prior to a Minghui meeting, my husband and I decided to put cultivation as our top priority, as nothing would be more important than that. This included work and translations for Minghui. We decided to study the Fa together every morning and finish one lecture of Zhuan Falun before we translated articles.
We felt it worked well this way. Our cultivation levels improved very quickly and we could cooperate. We encouraged each other more often.
My translation skills also improved. I used to translate articles with software first. Now, I only need the software to help with certain words and phrases.
Through cultivation, Fa study, and exercises, I can feel Master's help. I asked myself one day, “How could I translate so many articles within such a short time?” Dafa and Master have pushed me forward!
Improving as a Whole Body
On one occasion, I spent a lot of time translating a long article. When I was ready to upload it, I was shocked to discover that another practitioner had already translated this article and uploaded it. My first thought was to just upload it so that the editors could compare and choose the better version. But I gave up this idea, because it was a reflection of the attachment to fighting, perfection, and self-validation.
“So, going forward, don’t think that the issues you experience with people are by chance. They’re not, even if they come out of the blue. They are meant to perfect your character.” (The Fourth Talk, Zhuan Falun)
Thinking of this Fa teaching, I believed that Master provided me with this opportunity for enlightenment and improvement. After discussing with my husband, I decided not to upload my translation, but just helped polishing it.
I identified a new attachment while doing the polishing. I compared my translation with the other translation word by word and sentence by sentence. Unknowingly, I had changed the entire first paragraph to my translation.
I asked myself, “Is this my purpose? Did I try to use this way to replace this translation with mine? This practitioner also spent a lot of time on this. Is her translation worthless?”
It was obvious that Master let me cultivate away my human notions with this opportunity. I deleted my translation, as I did not want to let it affect me. I spent a few more hours on this article. When I polished, I reminded myself not to have any attachment. I just made sure that her expression did not change the original meaning.
I realized that only by practitioners working together, can we spread the experiences and stories of practitioners through the Minghui website to the whole world. If every translator and every polisher is not obsessed with their own word choice, we can then improve as a whole entity and make a large contributions to truth clarification.