[Celebrating World Falun Dafa Day] Masters Li Teaches Me To Be a Good Person
(Minghui.org) I am 53 years old and I have practiced Falun Dafa for 20 years. My parents died when I was young, and I experienced much suffering in my life. I thus tended to refrain from arguing with others or promoting strong ideas. But regarding Falun Dafa, I know it is truly righteous, and no one will ever be able to affect my determination to practice.
Although I am just an ordinary practitioner, during the suffering and hardship I have been through, people have witnessed how a Falun Dafa practitioner handles things differently from how everyday people would. As a result, people who know me have developed a positive attitude towards Falun Dafa and its principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance.
Considering Myself a Practitioner
My father passed away when I was 14. My brother and sister were already married, leaving my younger brother and I with my mother. My mother also later fell ill. As the oldest unmarried child in the family, I took care of my mother, until she left us.
After my mother's death, my elder brother asked me and my younger brother to live with him in the city. Without any parents, we lived like orphans and life was not easy. Whenever our younger brother did something wrong, I apologized to my brother and sister-in-law, saying it was my fault, so that my young brother would not be punished. Nonetheless, we could not stay there without contributing, so I worked for a construction company during the day and did cleaning as well as laundry for the family after work. I often worked very late into the evening.
My marriage was arranged by my brother. I did not like my future husband when we met for the first time. But thinking that I could not live with my brother and sister-in-law all my life, I chose to accept the arrangement. Married life was far from happiness. My husband never brought any money home, and I had to open a small clothing store to make ends meet. My husband suddenly disappeared when my son was six years old, and I didn’t know where he went. I still worked in the store every day, feeling depressed and lost.
I was on the verge of collapse when a friend recommended Falun Dafa to me. She said, “Please give it a try. Falun Dafa helps one become open-minded as well as a better person.” I took her advice and began to practice. I was happy that Master Li, the founder of Falun Dafa, showed me a new path.
Jiang Zemin, the former Communist Party leader, started to persecute Falun Dafa in July 1999. My husband had returned home, but treated me badly. In addition to fighting with me at home and wasting money outside, he also had an affair with a single woman. They held each other's arms while going to a restaurant in front of me and left me behind. I was in deep despair one day. While contemplating taking my own life, I suddenly remembered Master's words, that a practitioner cannot commit killing or suicide. So I got rid of this thought.
With Dafa and Master in my mind, I gradually learned how to handle my family tribulations. No matter how difficult it seemed, I had to discipline myself with the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. I no longer hated my husband and instead treated him well. Although he had been hurting me, his actions were actually harming himself as well. So I needed to forgive him with tolerance. In this way, I began to organize our home and take care of his life. When interacting with his family, I also followed the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance and looked after his mother well. Some of our neighbors said my parents-in-law were so lucky to have me as their daughter-in-law.
Taking Care of My Father-in-Law
Many things have happened to me that are related to my practice. During the past year, for example, I first lost my mother-in-law, and then my husband.
My parents-in-law have three children, including my husband, his elder sister, and his younger brother. Since his sister was in poor health, she could not help much. So from time to time, I had to put my business on hold and help out. My father-in-law had been bedridden for many years and had lost control of his bowels and bladder. Probably due to the fatigue of caring for her husband day in and day out, my mother-in-law died of a heart attack in September 2018.
I then had to take care of my father-in-law all by myself. He was stubborn and the people we hired to take care of him could not stay long. I had no choice but to close my store and look after him. Because of his difficulty urinating, I needed to help him with it, along with having to turn him over in the bed. When he had constipation, I had to wear gloves and dig out the waste. When his sputum was stuck, I needed to take it out with a syringe. His lower jaw also fell from time to time and I learned how to put it back. Since I fed him water and food spoon-by-spoon, my father-in-law was very moved and called me his daughter.
My father-in-law would occasionally hold my hands and thank me sincerely. I said, “Dad, you don’t need to thank me—please thank Master Li since Falun Dafa teaches me to be good person and to be considerate of others. Otherwise, I would not do this even if you paid me 10,000 yuan per month.” My husband's sister was also very grateful, “Without you taking care of him so well, our father could not have lived this long.” I again gave credit to Falun Dafa for my actions.
My husband was also touched. He once said in front of many of our neighbors, “My wife treats my father much better than I can. She is the best!” He then gave me a thumbs-up.
I am fortunate to be a Falun Dafa practitioner, but I am strict with myself. Although I have been busy with so many things, I have always had good health over the past 20 years, thanks to my practice.
The Sudden Death of My Husband
Influenced by modern society, my husband had many bad habits, including smoking, drinking alcohol, playing Mahjong, and extramarital affairs. He did not take care of his parents or me. Although impressed by my kindness, he nonetheless ignored my advice about taking care of his parents.
His girlfriend introduced him to a liquor retail business. As a result, he often drank with friends over there and played Mahjong with them. One day in November 2008, after drinking with six other people in the store, he felt bad and was taken to the emergency room. When I arrived there, he was already in a coma, and an examination indicated that he had a 10 mm. brain stem hemorrhage. He was on an oxygen supply, but there was no sign of life. At 10:00 p.m., the chief surgeon announced his death.
Although he treated me badly, I was still in deep grief over his death. The day after his funeral, I found a note from a person indicating that he had borrowed 15,000 yuan from my husband. My son called that person, but he did not admit to it. It took us a long time to get the money back. He had also lent money to other people, but it was impossible to retrieve it all without written notes.
The sudden death of my husband put me in despair. My son was still young and my father-in-law needed my help. And now there was no one around to help me or for me to discuss things with. I collapsed at the cremation site and nearly lost consciousness. My son cried loudly calling my name and said he would help as much as he could. My sister-in-law said to me, “Did you forget who you are? I thought you have your belief and your Master is taking care of you...”
Her words helped awaken me. Yes, I have Falun Dafa and Master. I cannot just indulge in sorrow and forget my responsibility as a mother and daughter-in-law. So I wiped off the tears and moved on.
The doctor said the fluids my husband had vomited upon his death had a great deal of alcohol in it. He asked me if that should be saved to claim liability. My brother and other relatives also suggested that we could sue the friends who were drinking with my husband, as well as the liquor store. In fact, in two recent similar local cases, the victim's families both received large amounts of compensation. I replied without hesitation, “He [my husband] already passed away. What is the point of a lawsuit?”
At that time, my son was planning to get married and needed a house. I needed money, too. But I refused to fight for money like this. I told my son, “We must live with dignity. Even if they pay us 800,000 or 1,000,000 yuan, could that last our entire life? Plus, if they give us so much money, how could they live after that?” My son agreed with me, and so did my relatives. My brother said to me respectfully, “You are doing great and what you believe is righteous.”
Many people in our extended family had initially been against my practice. But they had now changed their attitudes and become supportive.
One day I went to the liquor store and talked with the owner about my husband’s death. After hearing my story and about my belief in Falun Dafa, the owner was deeply touched. My father-in-law also improved his health by reciting “Falun Dafa is good” every day.
A friend once told me that she had overheard people talking about me. One person said, “She is a really good person—her husband died like that and she did not ask for any compensation.” “Yes, I heard about that too. Her husband treated her so badly and rarely came home at night. She not only forgave him, but also took good care of her bedridden father-in-law.”
I was in tears upon hearing this. I am an ordinary person. It is Falun Dafa that gives me strength and compassion, which not only cured my sorrow, but also showed me a righteous path.
(Submission to “Celebrate World Falun Dafa Day” 2019 on the Minghui website)