(Minghui.org) I am a young practitioner born in the 1980s. I started to practice Falun Dafa in 2010. Falun Dafa has purified my body and soul and helped me find the meaning of my life in this muddy world.
Hard Life During My Long Journey of Illness Treatment
Before I practiced Falun Dafa, I suffered for eight years from a rare disease called sensory neurological disorder with mild muscle atrophy. It is deemed incurable. In the latter stages of the disease, large areas of muscle atrophy resulting from nerve necrosis leave the person noticeably disfigured. I spent my precious youth visiting various hospitals and looking for all sorts of treatments.
Back then I was away from home attending university and had to see the doctors and go to the clinics all by myself. Nobody could ever really understand what tribulations and hardships I endured.
The left side of my body was numb. My legs were so heavy they felt like they were filled with lead. My face was swollen and disfigured. I suffered from headaches and insomnia and could not bear a draft. I didn't wear skirts or sandals or eat any cold food in the summer. I had to use warm water to brush my teeth. I also suffered from gastritis, enteritis, bone hyperplasia, and otitis media. Almost no part of my body was unaffected.
I didn't go home for three years when my face was severely disfigured. On Chinese New Year's Eve, I stayed in the dormitory eating instant noodles. I was kicked out of the school study room because of the strong smell of the medication I used. My roommates kicked me out and created difficulties for me. Passersby on the street laughed at me because of my bald head.
Life was such a disappointment and I was filled with sorrow and hatred. I couldn't understand why I had to suffer huge hardships even though I had never harmed anyone or cursed at anyone. Why did people always bully me even though I was kind to them? My disease became controllable after I consulted specialists. Although I would have to be on medication for the rest of my life, I was content. I didn't ever expect to be cured.
I was employed by a well-known financial institution after I graduated from graduate school. I put all my time into my work to make up the time that I lost in the previous years and hoped to reward my parents and pay back those who had helped me.
Contrary to my wishful thinking, I felt tired both physically and mentally. People in the financial industry were profit-oriented. Conflicts were normal and the workload was heavy. I doubted the meaning of life. Should life be like this: fighting with each other, making money to become famous and rich? Those were not what I wanted. I wanted to be a good person. But, in reality, good people were bullied. I was lost, anxious, and depressed and left my job. I suffered from mild depression. I didn't want to do anything or see anyone. I felt tired and lost my way.
I believed in Gods and Buddhas when I was a child. I'd read the Bible in primary school. I also read Buddhist books. I didn't change after reading those books even though I thought they were very good. I visited many temples during my university years but found that monks didn't cultivate themselves and behaved like ordinary people. They weren't kind, like the Buddhist books told them to be. I often searched the internet, hoping to find the Great Way that could tell me the meaning of life.
Totally Convinced by Falun Dafa's Principles
For several years, I had visited websites outside of China by using software to circumvent the internet firewall and knew the facts about Falun Dafa. I knew the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) was evil and didn't tolerate any group that had its own beliefs. I regarded Falun Dafa as another religious group or a human rights organization. I was sympathetic with the practitioners but didn't offer them any help.
When I first learned that the CCP was harvesting organs from practitioners against their will, I couldn't sleep all that night. This was demonic, beyond the bounds of morality or human conscience. My heart ached. Compared with those practitioners, my suffering was nothing. I wondered what they were like and what made them so determined in their belief. In this material world where people were so money-oriented, only Truth could inspire them to hold onto their belief and give up everything, even when their organs were harvested.
I'd downloaded Falun Dafa books in the past but hadn't read them yet. I wanted to know what was in them and why so many people didn't give up their faith. I was drawn to Zhuan Falun.
As soon as I opened the book, I was unable to put it down. Just like connecting a plug to a power source, I was electrified. I was totally convinced by the principles in the book. I realized that I had finally found the truth of life. I had found the answers to what I had been searching for. This was the authentic Buddha's Law!
Master said:
“And this is in fact the meaning of life. And it explains why the wish to become a better, or more spiritual, person is considered divine, and so it is prized; it means that the person wants to return to his true, heavenly abode and be freed of this world.” (The First Talk, Zhuan Falun)
“It’s because the way that the universe works, according to Buddhist thought, is that everything in a person’s life normally has “causal reasons” behind it, and the ordeals of existence—such as coming into the world, aging, getting ill, and dying—are as they should be. The ailments and travails that people experience result from their karma, and karma is the product of past wrongdoings. So the ordeals that people face are how they pay for their karma.” (The First Talk, Zhuan Falun)
Knowing the Fa principles, I finally let go of the grievances I'd accumulated from the past many years. I realized that I shouldn't disapprove of anyone. If other people hurt me, it might be that I had to pay back the debts I owed them from previous lives. Everything had a causal relationship. Life was predestined. I should face the adversities and unfairness actively. Since the meaning of life was to return to my original self, shouldn't I let go of everything?
Master said:
“… then you must live by the cosmic qualities of zhen, shan, ren. Anyone who abides by these is a good person, while anyone who lives a life contrary to them is in fact a bad person.” (The First Talk, Zhuan Falun)
I came to understand what it meant to be a good person and how to be a good person. A truly good person doesn't expect to be paid back and is truly good to other people; a truly good person can put up with other people's shortcomings and unreasonable demands and can forbear everything; and a truly good person considers others from their perspective and doesn't care about other people's wrongdoings. This is true compassion.
Judging by Dafa's principles, I was actually expecting returns for what I did. I expected that those I had helped at least wouldn't hurt me in return. I was not a truly good person. When I was not satisfied, I thought the situation was unfair and that upset me.
I was so focused on reading the book that I forgot to take my medicine on time. A week later I realized I felt fine and was sleeping well. I had been afraid of cold and drafts. It was the start of winter in November. I didn't put the heater on but my limbs felt warm. I felt so hot at night that I had to take off my blanket.
I was overwhelmed by Dafa's principles initially and was not concerned with its amazing healing benefits. Educated in the empirical sciences, I didn't believe that one could be healed just by reading a book. But my body's extraordinary reactions were about to prove me wrong. I tried to stop taking any medication and started to learn the exercises.
Several days later I started to feel cold and I could sense cold air being released by my body. Pimples popped out on my face. I had diarrhea and vomiting. I knew that Master had started to purify my body. I put up with it no matter how bad I felt. I recovered completely a month later. My legs felt light and I could walk briskly. My face became fair and rosy. The numbness and swelling disappeared. I could eat cold food and didn't fear the wind. The once impossible notion that I could ever be illness-free was now a reality. And I hadn't spent a penny on a cure. It was truly a dream became true.
My face was no longer swollen or numb, and my atrophied nerves gradually recovered. Once again I looked as pretty and lovely as I used to be. My big eyes became clear and pure. People thought I was just over 20 when I was actually 36. They could never imagine that I had been seriously ill for 8 years.
Falun Dafa gave me a second life. It was a miracle. Like myself, thousands upon thousands of practitioners have witnessed Dafa's miracles.
Abiding by Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance to Be a Clear Stream in the Financial Industry
I have worked in the financial industry for over ten years. In China, morality has declined dramatically, especially in the profitable financial sector. Money and desire contaminate those who work in it. Some of them have colluded with government officials and engaged in fraud to make profits. Some became rich and famous while others were sentenced to prison and their families were destroyed. Many more became numb and passively participated. They didn't dare to face their own conscience. I stumbled and had regrets but moved forward steadily. Guided by Falun Dafa's principles, I have managed to see through the colorful illusions and stay honest and righteous. I have been like a clear stream in this muddy industry.
I was in charge of granting loans in a financial institution. The institution is not interested in how well the business is run. As long as the institution thinks it will get repaid, it will grant the loan. When the business has a high risk of going bankrupt, the loan is quickly withdrawn. When the economy is good, we approve as many loans as we can. When the economy is not good, many businesses go bankrupt when the bank withdraws its loans or the business has resorted to usury. The relationship between financial institutions and businesses is not good.
I had to deal with a lot of such problems. I had to ensure that our loan would be repaid in time. But it was tough to balance our relationship with the business. It is general practice in the industry to pressure the business to repay the loan. As a Falun Dafa practitioner, I would not pressure them. I had to view things from their point of view and look at the bigger picture.
Master said:
“The various trades and professions in this world are meant to exist. Your heart is what counts, not your occupation.” (The Fourth Talk, Zhuan Falun)
Private businesses have a hard time in China. Their profits are low and their taxes are high. It is not easy for them to keep their businesses solvent. I talked to the business owners and learned where they fell short, tried to understand their predicaments, and offered them professional suggestions.
Some businesses supplied goods to listed state-owned enterprises, which didn't pay their suppliers' invoices. The businesses had over a million in debt to collect while, on the other hand, they had to pay taxes once the invoices were issued. I talked to the owners and asked them if they had other income and gave them advice on how to revitalize their assets. I did stock taking with some of them in their warehouses and helped estimate the approximate turnover period of the inventory after I had communicated with their suppliers for their purchase planning. I suggested that they stop buying to reduce the stocks and release capitals.
Some businesses produced good-quality goods. Because they ran their business honestly and didn't bribe the buyers, they were sandwiched by the buyers and suppliers. Their account periods were over eight months with accounts receivables exceeding 100 million. I provided a lot of loans to them to solve their financing problems. I talked to their sales representatives to boost their confidence and asked them to re-negotiate with their buyers for better payment terms for their good quality goods. One sales manager was very touched and actively involved in the negotiations and got favorable terms in the end. Because of his company's good-quality goods, they extended to many more markets. They were blessed for remaining honest.
Financial institutions should provide services to businesses and help them run smoothly. Financial institutions and businesses should be interdependent. In today's China, however, the priority is to make money, even at the expense of other people's interests. Some potentially good businesses were forced into bankruptcy while unsustainable businesses were granted big loans. In the end, the financial institutions incurred large bad debts and upset the previously harmonious ecosystem. People ignorantly hurt others as well as themselves.
I believe that the profit-seeking financial industry could maintain a congenial relationship with other businesses if the Dafa principle of “considering others first” was applied.
The CCP has distorted the moral principles that we Chinese have observed for thousands of years. In China today, kindness is seen as cowardice, honesty as stupidity, and adhering to principles as being inflexible. In response, we Falun Dafa practitioners must abide by the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance, practice kindness and tolerance, resolve people's misunderstandings, and win their respect. They are the hope for this materialistic society.
