Letting Go of a Deeply Hidden Attachment

(Minghui.org) The Chinese Communist Party always arrests more people during the so-called “sensitive dates,” such as the National Congress. The targets will be petitioners, veterans and Falun Gong practitioners, or the people whom the Party has labeled as terrorists.

I have been repeatedly harassed around “sensitive dates” because of my belief in Falun Gong. From the perspective of cultivation, I realized that I must have cultivation problems that allow me to be harassed. I have tried to deny the old forces' arrangements, while looking inward at the same time. But my cultivation state wasn't stable and I was not very successful.

Finding Out My Deeply Hidden Attachment

I remembered that many practitioners went to Beijing to appeal for the right to practice Falun Gong when the persecution had just started, around the year 2000. I also went, but I didn't go to the appeals office, and just walked around the area. I knew I'd failed the test.

In 2015, many practitioners started to file criminal complaints with their real names to sue former leader Jiang Zemin for launching the persecution of Falun Gong. My first thought was that I must do well; I don't want to be left behind this time.

I had similar thoughts before, but I didn't pay any attention to them. I became alert this time. I was afraid of being left behind; I asked myself, what do you mean, you're afraid of being left behind? The answer was that I was afraid of being unable to reach consummation.

Master said:

“It is in fact time to let go of your last attachments. As cultivators, you already know that you should, and in your actions you have, let go of all worldly attachments (including the attachment to the human body) and have made it through the process of letting go of life and death. Then is being attached to reaching Consummation an attachment? Isn’t it also an attachment born of human desire? Would a Buddha be attached to reaching Consummation? As a matter of fact, those cultivators who are truly approaching Consummation don’t have this attachment.” (“Essentials for Further Advancement II,” Eliminate Your Last Attachment(s))

I studied Master's article many times, but I always thought that what Master talked about was related to others and had nothing to do with me. I thought that I didn't have the attachment of pursuing consummation, until I read this paragraph of the Fa again. I realized that being afraid of being left behind... isn't it an attachment?

This deeply hidden attachment of pursuing consummation caused me to be persecuted severely and I nearly lost my life ten years ago. As some practitioner said, “The Fa-rectification is approaching the end, and practitioners need to step forward to save people.” However, I misunderstood their words, and thought that stepping forward meant taking part in large scale activities, which caused me to be persecuted severely.

After filing criminal complaints against Jiang Zemin, many practitioners were harassed or persecuted. I was also afraid of being persecuted again. I know, from the angle of cultivation, that this meant I was acknowledging the old forces' arrangement. Of course the evil would have an excuse to persecute me.

Master also said:

“Sometimes in your cultivation you are unable to pass a test or identify your attachments, and that’s because you have not taken some little problem(s) seriously. But actually, no matter how small a problem is, it’s unacceptable if you can’t meet the standard.” (Fa Teaching Given at the 2014 San Francisco Fa Conference)

I think that we should pay attention to our every single thought, uncover those deeply hidden human notions, and let go of them.