It took me over ten years to eliminate my attachment to computer games. Some people might find it hard to believe a sixty-year-old lady could not peel herself away from gaming.
My profession allows for some flexibility. After our office installed computers in 1997, I would play a few rounds of card games whenever I was tired or bored.
Access to the Internet got my hands on various brain teasers and puzzle games. The more I played, the more I wanted to play.
The notion of “leveling up” often occupied my mind. I was very irritable when I played those games.
I realized this was interference, but I could not stop. There were times when I wanted to stop playing, but my hands would not stop moving.
Playing a couple of hours at a time was the norm. My excuse was that “it helps relax my brain.”
I was ashamed of myself when I studied the Fa and thought to myself, “Are you still a Dafa disciple?”
I used to read a section from Zhuan Falun over and over again:
“Have you ever seen a Buddha or a Tao sitting there with a cigarette in his mouth? How can that be possible? As a cultivator, what’s your goal? Shouldn’t you quit it? Therefore, I have said that if you want to cultivate, you should quit smoking. It harms your body and is a desire as well. That is completely contrary to the requirements for our cultivators.” (Lecture Seven, Zhuan Falun)
It seemed Master Li's words were aimed right at me. Playing computer games was an obvious attachment and interference, but I was still holding on to it!
In the evening of the Moon Festival ten years ago, I stood under the moon with my hands pressed together. I promised Master that I would never play computer games again and that I would be a genuine Dafa practitioner.
I did not play computer games after that for a few years. During the past several years, however, smartphones started to influence me.
I do not remember how and when, but I started to play games again on my smartphone. Even though I played only briefly each time, it was still an attachment.
I would check out the new games when I saw them and regret my decision later. I worried that Master might have given up on me as I had already promised him not to play anymore.
I realized I had too much human sentimentality and negative thoughts. Sometimes I would reflect on what Master said in “Teaching the Fa in the City of Los Angeles:”
“Who is capable of never making mistakes, anyway? And what do mistakes count for? We just need to correct them, don't we? The crux of the matter is your attachments. Aren't you supposed to cultivate away your human attachments?”
I was far from being a genuine Dafa disciple. My daily routine included Fa-study and exercises, but I felt I had been at the same level for a very long time.
I had dreams that I was running down a set of stairs. While studying the Fa one day, my body shook as I read this sentence:
“Eating meat or not isn’t itself the purpose—the key is to give up that attachment.” (Lecture Seven, Zhuan Falun)
I understood that the “key” was to eliminate my fundamental attachment that caused my addiction to playing computer games.
I started to recite the article “True Cultivation” in Essentials for Further Advancement:
“Whether you can let go of ordinary human attachments is a fatal test on your way to becoming a truly extraordinary being. Every disciple who truly cultivates must pass it, for it is the dividing line between a cultivator and an everyday person.”
Gradually, I thought about computer games less and less. I chuckled whenever I happened to see a game: Why was I attracted to such silly things?
I finally detached myself from computer games.
My Addiction to the Internet
Smart devices have become part of our daily lives, as almost everyone has one. They can manipulate our mind.
My dependence on gadgets exceeded my attachment to video games. I knew I needed to break free from it after reading “What All Dafa Disciples Must Know” published on the Minghui website.
Deleting the QQ app was first and easiest. WeChat was harder to part with.
My husband and I moved to the southern part of China a few years ago, while our family and friends all lived in the north.
I spent a long time every day chatting, sharing photos, and reading news with family and friends on WeChat. I was ashamed of myself for wasting so much time on that app.
I scaled down on my usage but never thought about getting rid of it. After reading the announcement on Minghui, it was clear that it was time to completely delete the WeChat app.
I explained my intention to my family and close friends. The app was then deleted, and my phone was reset.
As I looked at my newly purged phone, I suddenly remembered that I had forgotten to back up the over 3,000 photos I had carefully saved over the years. After the initial shock, however, my heart felt light as if I had let go of a heavy load.
I then uninstalled many shopping and money managing apps, which consumed my time and became part of my many attachments.
During the process of eliminating these attachments, much of my human sentimentality surfaced. It was hard to let them go at first, but it was necessary as they had become interference in my cultivation.
As a genuine Dafa practitioner, we must completely remove ourselves from the allure of the Internet. After I unloaded the burden of internet addiction, I felt free and refreshed, and I also had more free time to do the three things.
Realizing the Urgency of Saving Sentient Beings
Not long ago, I ran into a former colleague at a bus stop. We were excited to see each other and made arrangements to meet again that weekend.
I planned to tell her about Falun Dafa and the persecution in China. I called her the day we were supposed to meet, and she was having dinner at the time and said would come to see me shortly.
Her husband picked up her cellphone when I called her half an hour later. She had just had a massive heart attack.
The paramedics were doing chest compressions when I rushed to the scene. She already looked lifeless and passed away that evening.
It was a sleepless night for me. I was not only in shock from her sudden death, but more importantly, I blamed myself for not telling her about Falun Dafa earlier.
Her outlook might have been different if I had convinced her to cut her ties with the Chinese Communist Party. After much reflection the next day, I learned two lessons from this incident.
I was planning to persuade the couple to withdraw from the CCP before we were to meet, as both of them were CCP members. But, unfortunately, we cannot predict the future.
She did not hear the truth about Falun Dafa before her lifetime was up and she lost her chance to be saved. I also witnessed that a person can shift between life and death so suddenly.
What happened that day warned me that time is precious.
Everything that happens in the universe is free from sentimentality. One does not know when his or her life will come to an end.
I blamed myself for not putting in enough effort in saving sentient beings. I felt the urgency and wanted to do better, but I was never able to put my thoughts into action.
I said in my heart: “Master, it was my fault. I will be a diligent practitioner and will save more people.”
My heart felt lighter, and my mind became clearer the next day. As my main consciousness became more alert, the quality of my meditation also improved tremendously.
For the past few years, I often felt sleepy during meditation. Now my mind is clear and calm.
Master removed the layer of substance that had been blocking my cultivation.
Category: Improving Oneself
