Home Is a Good Cultivation Environment
(Minghui.org) One day while sending forth righteous thoughts, a hospital medical report came to mind. I sent out a thought, “I don't want to see it, as it has nothing to do with me.”
Tested by the Old Forces
At that moment, a voice said, "There are two small white spots on the lungs." I replied, "You have little white spots on your lungs, don't disturb me!"
A few days later, I had symptoms of a dry cough, and my throat was itchy as if a small insect was crawling around in there. I tried to hold back my coughing while looking within and sending forth righteous thoughts to clear the interference.
My coughing only got worse, and I couldn’t help but cough while talking. The words, “There are little white spots on your lungs” popped into my mind.
I knew this was the old forces' way of persecuting me; using this suggestion to get me to admit that there is a problem in my lungs.
When I first began practicing Dafa, I had a terrible dream: I was dying, my lungs were blocked and I could not breathe.
At the moment of death, I remembered Master and said, "Master, I can't die, I want to practice Dafa, and follow you to achieve enlightenment."
When I woke up I felt that I had a lot of karma in my lungs and that Master had saved me.
I thought, “Now that this kind of interference has occurred, could it be that the old forces wanted to use my karma to persecute me?”
I stayed alert to this possibility. Over the past two years, evil has been threatening and interfering with me using suggestions, trying to lead me to think negatively and follow those negative thoughts, then persecute me with the excuse that I asked for it.
Master said: “..good or evil comes from a person’s spontaneous thought, and the thought at that moment can bring about different consequences.” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)
I used the sickness karma as the initiative to look within myself for the cause, to clear human notions and attachments, and consider the sickness as a sign of body purification.
I sent forth righteous thoughts every day to remove the negative factors in my thoughts, especially my suspicions and fears.
One night I couldn't help but cough. My husband said, “Why do you cough frequently? If you don't feel well, go to the hospital; do you have cancer?"
He suddenly had a look of savage and joyful satisfaction. At that moment, I was a little disturbed.
I thought to myself, “How much I have done for this family over the years?” I was upset that he didn't seem to have any gratitude towards me. “When you see me coughing from time to time,” I thought, “You don't show any concern, instead, you want to kick me when I am down; what kind of person are you?”
Then I realized that I shouldn't have these thoughts, because at that moment my husband was clearly being controlled by evil.
The old forces used him to lay a trap for me: Once I gave into feelings of being wronged, I would become resentful, and quarrel with my husband.
The old forces would use this as an excuse to persecute me. At that point, a sentence appeared in my mind: "...just by having your heart unaffected you will be able to handle all situations." (“Eliminate Your Last Attachment(s)”, Essentials for Further Advancement II)
I calmly thought to myself, "I won't let that happen to me." I sent forth the righteous thoughts, “I will not allow evil to manipulate him.”
I spoke with my husband without any resentment, as if nothing had happened. The evil was disintegrated, and his expression even looked regretful.
After that, he didn’t say anything about my cough. A month later, the dry cough disappeared and the heart palpitations and chest tightness also disappeared.
I knew that Master had helped to remove my karma.
Recognizing My Attachments
For a while, my husband learned to use his mobile phone to buy lottery tickets. His gambling addiction became stronger and stronger.
He would play the lottery as soon as he got home from work, he was obsessed. He would buy more than 50 lottery tickets a day, and didn't want to do anything else. I talked to him several times, but he did not listen.
Later, I found out that he used his client's money when he had no money left. When he lost money, he also took money from home.
One day I really couldn’t help but say, “You're almost a waste of space, how can you be so obsessed with gambling? Can’t you see the money goes to the Chinese Communist Party?”
I continued, “You are being deceived. Why can't you control yourself? Even if you win money, it is exchanged for your virtue, the evil still gains.”
“Furthermore”, I said, “ If you don't have virtue, you will have to suffer tribulations. Do you understand?”
He was annoyed and said, "You're wasting my time. If I don't win, it will be your fault! There are lots of people that play it. Who is like you? You are not normal! You are so selfish. Don't talk about it if you don't understand it."
Seeing his attitude, I couldn’t hold back my anger. I was full of bad feelings toward him and resentment around the sacrifices I had made over the years.
I thought to myself, “If I didn’t practice Dafa, I really wouldn't want to be with you. I will uninstall your WeChat and change the password, and we will see if you can play again.”
It was the time for sending forth righteous thoughts, but my heart was as heavy as a stone. How could I send forth righteous thoughts in such a bad mood?
But it wouldn't be right to not do it, so I sat there to calm myself down, and the thought came to me, “I have been manipulated by negative human notions, and many attachments have already pushed me into the illusory world.”
I have said to fellow practitioners many times, “Don't try to solve problems in the illusory world. You have to extricate yourself from it to see the truth.”
But how did I get stuck in the illusory world?
At this time, I suddenly remembered the meaning of "...against the strong tides of this world" ("2018 Fa Teaching Given in Washington, D.C." Team yellow translation)
“Yes,” I thought, “At this moment I have to look inward and go against the tide.” I immediately felt better.
"But normally when a problem arises, if it does not irritate a person psychologically, it does not count or is useless and cannot make him or her improve." (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)
I thought to myself, “My attachments are controlling me at the material level, but I shouldn't let them run wild. Why don't I immobilize, and completely eliminate them?”
“At this moment in history, countless eyes are watching my thoughts. Isn't this a good opportunity to validate the Fa?”
My righteous thoughts came out. I began to look carefully at my human notions and attachments: accusation, resentment, grievance, competitiveness, revenge, despising others, and speaking harshly.
These attachments are not part of my true self, they are part of the old universe. I immediately recited the Fa-rectification verses, and sent out a powerful thought, “Eliminate!"
With Master's help, the energy was very strong, and there were no distracting thoughts in my mind. After I finished sending forth righteous thoughts, I had calmed down and realized that I still had a lot of sentimentality.
"If you are free from this sentimentality, nobody can affect you. An everyday person’s mind will be unable to sway you. What takes over in its place is benevolence, which is something more noble." (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)
Because of sentimentality, I regarded my husband as my own private property, and thought that as such, I treated him well and sacrificed a lot for him. However, he didn’t listen to me and didn’t change the way that I wanted him to, which irritated my attachments of self-righteousness and controlling others.
These attachments have been concealed for many years by the excuse of being good to others, but I had never recognized them. No wonder he said that I was selfish, which was really quite reasonable.
When I changed myself and no longer forced change on my husband, he changed a lot: he became more rational, and would only buy lottery tickets occasionally.
He told me that it was a way of diverting himself from boredom. He doesn't misappropriate his client’s money anymore, and our relationship has also improved significantly.
Over the years my husband refused to listen to the Fa. He would say that he had a headache and would also add something disrespectful about Dafa.
Sometimes he interfered with my sending forth righteous thoughts, and I almost classified him as evil. I've realized that I was wrong and that I pushed him away.
I did not cultivate compassion and was confused by his behavior at the surface level. I didn't cultivate myself well over the years, which hasn't made it easy for him—I didn't really save him.
These days I often help him by sending forth righteous thoughts, clearing the evil factors that control him and send out a strong thought, “He came to help me cultivate and validate Dafa, and must be saved!”
I had a chance to talk to him a lot that day, and he listened to what I said.
Above is my recent cultivation experience to share with fellow practitioners. Please kindly point out anything that is not in line with the Fa.