(Minghui.org) To say that my relationship with my father was rocky would be an understatement. I could never talk to him. He was arrogant, had a bad temper and was selfish. I also had a hot temper and after years of tension between us I could not tolerate him. Whenever we spoke, we immediately began arguing. He would say the meanest things to me, as if I were a total stranger; I never felt he loved me.
When I was in secondary school I decided that I would go to a university abroad so I could get away from him. I planned to never return. However, I got into a vocational school in our province's capital. Three years later, I was assigned to a job in my hometown. So much for my dreams of getting away from my father.
Things Change
After I began practicing Falun Dafa in 1995, I gradually changed. I measured everything I said or did with the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance and did my best to be a good and better person. Although my opinion of my father changed, he still upset me. I tried not to argue with him anymore. I told him about Falun Dafa and in 1996, I played the videotapes of Master Li’s lectures for my parents. Although my father was arrogant, when he watched the lectures, he said that Master Li (the founder of Falun Dafa) was not an ordinary person.
On July 20, 1999, the Chinese Communist Party launched the persecution against Falun Dafa. My parents still felt Falun Dafa was good. However, after I was sentenced to two years in a forced labor camp for speaking about the Tiananmen Self-Immolation Hoax, they became silent.
I continued to practice Falun Dafa after I was released. They did not object, but they were worried. I suggested they should say: Falun Dafa is good; Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good. The pain in my father’s legs and his insomnia subsided. Most importantly, he no longer needed his stomach medication.
I gave him a copy of Zhuan Falun and asked him to read it whenever he had time. My mother was illiterate so I got her a reading machine. But my father’s bad temper did not improve, which made me think that he never read Zhuan Falun.
My Father's Behavior Points Out My Attachments
During the New Year celebrations, my father said something that upset me. Instead of immediately looking within, I became upset and my resentment flared. I kept thinking that he was in the wrong. I said to myself, the next time I visit them I'll ask for that copy of Zhuan Falun. I was fuming and thought that nothing would help him. However, out of my attachment to him, I was worried about him.
At this moment, I remembered Master’s teaching: “Cultivation is about looking inside yourself. Whether you are right or wrong, you should examine yourself. Cultivation is about getting rid of human attachments.” ( Teaching the Fa in the City of Los Angeles)
I asked myself, “Why am I not looking inward? Why do I get upset all the time? Is there anything that I need to eliminate? Why am I the only one of my siblings who cannot stand our father’s temper?” I found many attachments: I was resentful, judgmental, competitive, vain, defensive, arrogant, and had attachments to family members. I'm also a product of the CCP party culture: critical of others, self-righteous, intolerant, selfish, and my personality is domineering. I was not gentle like a woman should be. I knew that the faults I saw in my father mirrored my own character traits. I decided not to ask for Zhuan Falun.
Yesterday, I called my father about something and casually asked if he still had Zhuan Falun and whether he had read it. He replied, “Yes, I've read it twice!” I was relieved. I misunderstood him. Not only had he read the book, but he also took good care of it. I understood that everyone’s life is arranged and controlled by Master. We should not worry too much as long as we do what we are supposed to.
Master said, “Those who are attached to affection for family will definitely be burned, entangled, and tormented by it. Pulled by the threads of affection and plagued by them throughout their lives, they will find it too late to regret at the end of their lives. (“Cultivators’ Avoidances” from Essentials for Further Advancement)
As practitioners we need to just focus on cultivating ourselves well, do the three things well and not let our attachments get the better of us. Otherwise, our notions and attachments may cause us to have misunderstandings. We must break through the old forces' interference and eliminate all our attachments and notions so the old forces cannot take advantage of us. We should remember that it's our responsibility to save the people around us, and we must treat them with compassion.
Category: Improving Oneself
