Attention to Eliminating Sentimentality and Resentment
(Minghui.org) There have been ongoing situations in my local area recently, relating to illness karma. Although the practitioners involved have their own unique situations in cultivation, they also have a common problem; that is, they have not been able to let go of deeply held sentiments and resentments.
Late last year, a young married couple lost their two-year-old son in a car accident. The incident was quite a shock to practitioners in the area. The child's mother was very sad, her eyes often red and swollen from crying. Many practitioners thought a certain amount of sadness was normal, and in time, she would be able to let go of her sorrow, calm down, and find the deficiencies in her cultivation. Before she could completely let go of the pain of losing her son, however, her body displayed a serious state of illness. All her internal organs then began to shut down and her whole body became swollen. Over a very short period of time, her body was destroyed from the inside out, and she eventually passed away. She was less than forty years of age.
Of course, there may have been other contributing factors to her passing, but what stood out was sentimentality, especially sorrow and resentment at the loss of her son. She blamed her son's death on what she perceived as the unrighteous thoughts of other practitioners. As her physical condition deteriorated, she didn't concentrate on studying the Fa, but was instead controlled by emotion, expecting her husband to comfort her through the whole experience.
In another situation, an older practitioner ran a large truth-clarification materials production site. She was diligent in her cultivation and efforts to help people understand the truth about Falun Dafa. She ran the local material center smoothly for over ten years, and her righteous attitude was obvious to those who knew her. Her husband passed away not long after the Chinese New Year, but she didn't show too much sorrow, continuing to do the three things. At night, however, she still couldn't help missing her husband. This situation continued until, suddenly, she suffered a cerebral hemorrhage, lost consciousness, and was taken to the hospital. While sending righteous thoughts for her, a thought came to my mind: “She hasn't truly let go of feelings of affection to her husband, giving the old forces an excuse to persecute her.”
I recalled instances when she would carry a mobile phone with her during the large group Fa study and experience sharing, claiming that her husband might call her at any time. Other practitioners had communicated their concern about this to her many times, but she could not let go. I would like to emphasize how important it is to eliminate sentimentality in a timely manner, lest it becomes a fatal flaw in our cultivation. We should treat all people and situations with rationality.
There is a middle-aged couple who live locally and provide a good example of not being able to let go of such things. After getting married, the husband was very fond of his wife, while she was relatively indifferent to him. As a result, his deep feelings turned into deep grievances. Trying to elicit some sort of emotional response from his wife, he even threatened to stop practicing, and did indeed quit. This husband’s emotions and grievances were not eliminated in a timely manner, leading his cultivation to ruin.
Another senior practitioner comes to mind. This practitioner didn't receive much education and had difficulty reading Dafa books fluently, but he paid great attention to cultivation, participating in group Fa study every day and doing the three things consistently. His spouse passed away suddenly, however, and he also started to experience serious illness karma. I heard that he often felt empty after his spouse passed away and wished that their children would visit from time to time. Feeling lonely, he would often go downstairs to find people to chat with. If a practitioner starts to feel empty inside, it is a hint that it is time to let go of that attachment. While enduring illness karma, this practitioner failed to find the cause of the tribulation.
As a result, his children were unwilling to visit, and he started to feel strong resentment toward them. His younger sister was also a practitioner, but she couldn't study the Fa with him every day as she had to take care of her grandson. He soon developed a strong resentment toward her as well. Entangled in sentimentality and resentment, this practitioner eventually lost his life.
An elderly female practitioner, who is diligent in cultivation and clarifying the facts, managed to avoid illegal detention on numerous occasions by maintaining righteous thoughts. The last time she was detained, however, her righteous thoughts weren't strong enough and she cooperated with the police to a certain extent.
She is quite introverted, and her life revolves around her husband and child. She would often complain about her husband, though. After looking within, she realized that the resentment toward her husband was caused by an emotional attachment. But when she rejected the attachment, it would always come back. She didn't fundamentally let go, though she understood that as a practitioner she should treat her husband with compassion, regardless of how he treated her. With lingering attachments to affection and resentment, and with the additional interference of sleepiness, she was arrested while putting up truth-clarification materials.
It was not until recently that I understood better these same feelings and resentments in myself. For a long time, in my dreams I would meet a person I once liked, but who had let me down. Every time I had this dream, I treated myself as a practitioner. I felt that I had passed the test for lust, but the same dream kept recurring. In addition to feelings of affection, I always questioned why that person had not been honest in our relationship. Later I realized that it may not have been a test for lust, but I still couldn't work out what it was. Consequently, my cultivation state declined, and I was often sleepy, even falling asleep during sending righteous thoughts.
I realized that I needed to clean up my field. After sending forth righteous thoughts for two to three hours continuously, I became very clear. When I meditated the next morning, I realized that deep down I still held onto feelings of affection and resentment. It turned out that the dream was not a test of attachment to lust, but a hint to help me let go of old grievances. I was not aware of these residual feelings until I completely failed the test in my dreams: I realized that this resentment was sitting in my heart like a rock. I became aware that many hardships recently experienced by practitioners were mostly related to sentimentality and resentment.
When we are moved by feelings of resentment, we should look inward to see if we have developed affection or dependency toward another practitioner. Is Master using these opportunities to eliminate attachments? Many practitioners do not solidly cultivate and tend to look outward when encountering issues. Holding on to feelings of resentment will lead to a decline in xinxing and create a lot of gaps between practitioners. It is dangerous for a cultivator to hold onto these feelings for an extended period of time.
This article is only for the purpose of exposing the manifestation of sentimentality and resentment. It is not aimed at any practitioners in particular.