Positive Changes for a Tough Guy with a Hot Temper
(Minghui.org) As a victim of domestic violence growing up, I became convinced early on that fists solved problems faster than reasoning. Whenever a conflict arose, my first impulse was to curl my fingers into a fist. I fought through much of my 58 years of life and I resented the entire world.
Though I seemed tough on the outside, deep down I was vulnerable and grew more and more tired of the life I was leading. When my life seemed most hopeless, I was introduced to Falun Gong.
Fighting for Petty Benefits
I felt my only chance to get out of my dysfunctional home environment was to join the military. When I was discharged a few years later, however, I couldn't secure a job in the city. Watching my buddies from the military landing high paying jobs through bribery or family connections, I became bitter.
I moved back to my hometown in a small mountain village and worked in our family fields. My years of experience in the military didn't help me get anywhere and I was back at square one. I resented life and everyone around me. I felt I was already short-changed by life.
I never paid my dues nor taxes. When our production team (the basic accounting and farm production unit in the people's commune system in China from the late 1950s to mid-1980s) lead a group of police officers to my home to collect six years' worth of taxes, I told them “No!”
I got drunk one day and broke into the production team's office to pick a fight. The staff was so terrified that one by one they sneaked out of the office. After that, nobody dared to mention the taxes I owed.
After my parents died, I left my hometown to try my luck in the big city. Things weren't exactly what I had imagined. People outsmarted me and took advantage of me. Though I worked hard I didn't make much money. I resented the world even more and picked fights wherever I went.
Leading a Tiring Life
A friend thought I'd make a good watchman and helped me land a job at a ginseng field in the mountains. I worked as a watchman and a laborer and was paid double.
Watching the fields was a big responsibility, especially during spring and fall when the nearby farmers' cows fed free-range and wandered into the ginseng fields. The price of whatever crops they stomped on and ruined was taken out of my salary.
Once, I threw an ax at a cow to drive it away. The owners followed the bloody trail and came looking for me. They dared not start a fight with me knowing they would not have won. I threatened to take their cow and sell it to pay for the ruined ginseng. The owners went back empty-handed and afterward I had a bad reputation among the villagers.
When things calmed down, I often regretted what I did. I was hot-tempered, but I worried when I thought I'd done the wrong thing. I felt lost.
I developed many health problems over the years and grew tired of my life. I knew that if I didn't do something to change, I would not have a happy ending. I wanted to work hard and save as much money as I could for my kids. Afterward I planned to become a Buddhist monk in a remote temple. My life was too difficult and I longed for a simpler life.
Friends told me even the temples were not how they used to be. The monks had become corrupt as high-ranking officials and were as attached to money and lust as everyone else. Without money or connections, I wouldn't be able to become a monk. I saw no hope in life and truly questioned why I even came to this world.
Introduced to Dafa
It all changed when an old couple moved to the village. The man was named Liu and he practiced Falun Gong. One day while we worked together we chatted.
He asked me, “Who do you think is good? Falun Gong or Jiang Zemin (the then head of the Chinese Communist Party who launched the persecution against Falun Gong in 1999)?” I paused. This was the third time I'd heard about Falun Gong. I was curious so I said to Liu, “I'll tell you my opinion if you let me borrow your book (Zhuan Falun).” Liu didn't respond.
That night, I was drinking by myself and began thinking about Falun Gong. “Why is the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) spending so much money to persecute Falun Gong? I have to read the book so I know who is right and who is wrong. Liu must have a copy. Maybe he didn't want to tell me because he's afraid of being arrested.”
I decided to ask Liu to borrow his book again so I put my chopsticks down and hurried to Liu's home. As if he knew that I was coming, Liu and his wife opened the door and said, “You came for this book, didn't you?” With both hands, I took the book from them. I said, “Don't worry. I'll return it when I'm done. I won't tell anybody.”
As soon as I got home, I lit the candles and started reading. I started with the first lecture, and the more I read, the more excited I got. I had never heard of the principles mentioned in this book, yet they sounded so familiar to me.
I finally knew that the universe's characteristic of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is the sole criterion for distinguishing good and bad. I knew that human beings didn't evolve from monkeys, that we all came from the heavens.
I finally found the answer to my question and knew that we all came to this world for the Fa. I'd been someone who never shed a tear, but I couldn't stop crying that night. I read through the first seven lectures in one sitting. During the next few days, I read Zhuan Falun whenever I had a free moment. As I turned the pages, Master's words purified my filthy mind. I wished that I could have a copy of this precious book.
I knew that I had to stop fighting. Master told us,
“As a practitioner, the first thing you should be able to do is to not fight back when you are beaten or sworn at—you must be tolerant.” (“People with Great Inborn Quality,” Zhuan Falun 2014 Translation)
Master also said,
“One’s gong level is as high as one’s xinxing level...” (“Why Doesn’t Your Gong Increase with Your Practice?” Zhuan Falun 2014 Translation)
“Today we have made public to you this great practice. I have already delivered it to your doorstep. It is up to you whether you can cultivate and make it. If you can do it, you may continue your cultivation. If you cannot do it or cannot cultivate, from now on you can forget about cultivation. Except for demons that will deceive you, nobody else will teach you, and in the future you will not be able to cultivate. If I cannot save you, nobody else can. As a matter of fact, finding a true master from an orthodox Fa to teach you is harder than climbing to heaven. There is nobody at all who cares.” (“Whoever Practices Cultivation Will Obtain Gong,” Zhuan Falun 2014 Translation)
I Began to Practice
I asked Master, “I want to cultivate. Master, please take me as your disciple.”
Master saw that my heart was sincere and arranged for me to secure all of the published Dafa books shortly after. I successfully quit smoking, drinking, and many other bad habits. My body reacted strongly, just like what Master said it would:
“Many students from different places have raised this issue previously in their experience reports, 'Teacher, after attending your class I was looking for a toilet all the way home.' This is because all your internal organs must be purified.” (“The Issue of Pursuit,” Zhuan Falun 2014 Translation)
For over a week, I had to run to the bathroom several times a night but was fine during the day. After seven or eight days, many of my ailments, such as arthritis, neck pain, and stomach problems that I had suffered from for many years were gone. My entire body felt light and I was a completely different person.
Living Up to Dafa's Standards
Guided by Dafa, I gradually changed. On my way to Mr. Liu's house one day, I saw a flock of sheep running into the ginseng field and called out to alert them. Mr. Liu and his wife came out and tried to drive the sheep away.
I approached the flock and grabbed one of the sheep at the front. It was medium-sized but it was was heavy—no matter how hard I tried I couldn't pick it up.
To save face in front of Liu and his wife, I tried even harder but I slipped and fell. I wanted to show off my strength but ended up making a fool of myself. I was embarrassed and became more upset.
I picked up a clump of dirt and threw it at the flock, but I fell again! I suddenly realized that now that I had started cultivating Dafa, nothing was coincidental. Master must be holding me back from doing bad deeds and accumulating karma. Master looks after each disciple and watches my every thought and every move.
The young ginseng seedlings sold very fast that year. I promised to save some for a buyer named Wang but his brother-in-law lied and said Wang didn't want the seedlings anymore. I believed the brother-in-law and sold him the seedlings I'd saved for Wang.
When Wang and his wife found out, they came to the field and cursed me for breaking my promise. I had never been treated so unfairly in my life! Wang told everybody that I was a liar and not trustworthy. Some of the villagers told Wang and his wife to tone it down, but they wouldn't listen and grew even louder.
I got a headache and my head was buzzing. I wanted to explain but I couldn't make a sound. Out of habit, I clenched my fists but then I slowly released them. I was a different person than before. I told myself, “Don't you want to truly cultivate in Dafa? Here's a test. A Dafa practitioner must be able to be tolerant.”
As soon as this thought crossed my mind, I calmed down. Master helped me get rid of the substance and the demon nature that made me get easily upset.
I sincerely apologized to them and asked them to forgive me. Wang and his wife suddenly stopped yelling. They looked at each other and left without saying another word. The villagers who gathered to watch were surprised. They were convinced that Dafa had changed me and they all wanted to practice.
One winter, a young man in his early 30s came to collect firewood near my hut. I told him that the wood around my hut kept the wind away and I asked him to go somewhere else to collect wood.
The young man grabbed his hatchet and stared at me. That menacing look on his face reminded me so much of my younger self—for a little bit of benefit, he was ready to do anything. He acted like a tough guy but was, in fact, pitiful.
It broke my heart to see a young man behave that way so I said, “Fine, get as much firewood as you want. It's warm inside and I have water. Come in if you need a break.” I left him alone and when I went back out to talk to him, he had already left.
Spreading the Fa and Telling People the Truth about Dafa
People always say that it's easier to change the mountains and the rivers than someone's nature, but Dafa completely changed me. Falun Gong is truly a profound teaching. I told my wife, my children, my in-laws, my siblings, and everyone I knew about Dafa.
The villagers saw how I had changed after I began practicing Falun Gong, and many came to me to learn the practice. A 19-year-old student from the next village was diagnosed with leukemia but within the first three weeks of practicing Falun Gong she was completely fine.
She had lost all her hair due to chemotherapy but grew back a full head of shiny black hair. She also has a rosy complexion and enjoys good health. Everyone in our village and nearby villages were amazed. More and more people now know Dafa is good.
The CCP used its state-run media to slander Falun Gong and many people swallowed its lies. As a practitioner, it's my responsibility to tell people the truth about Dafa so they can decide for themselves what's good and what's bad. I have helped many to cut their ties with the Party and its youth organizations.
I have benefited so much from such a wonderful cultivation! Wherever I go, I tell people my story and how wonderful Dafa is. I hope more people will know that Dafa is good. Now more than ever, I know that I came to this world for the Fa.