Passing One Trial after Another by Believing in Master and Dafa
(Minghui.org) I was 26 years old and married, when I began practicing Faun Dafa. That was back in February 1997. From that time forward, I have always been able to feel Master’s protection and compassion, which has helped me pass one trial after another.
Quarreling with My Husband
My husband used to have a very bad temper, and often beat me. We quarreled endlessly, and I thought our fighting would never stop. I contemplated divorcing him.
I went to visit my sister-in-law one day. She showed me a brand-new book titled Zhuan Falun, and told me that it was a book about cultivation.
I borrowed it, and took it home. While reading it for the first time, I saw a Falun spinning around my light.
Because of that, practitioners thought my enlightenment quality was good. From then on, I made up my mind to start practicing Falun Dafa, and dropped the idea of divorcing my husband.
However, my husband was constantly trying to stop me from practicing.
“...those with more of the black matter have to go through an extra procedure. It can be likened to production at a factory. While others come to the practice with ready-made material, these individuals bring crude material, which needs an additional round of processing. And so they have to first suffer to lessen their karma and change it into white matter. And only then, once it has been remade into material virtue, is it possible for them to develop higher energy with the practice.” (The Ninth Talk in Zhuan Falun)
I believed that I had an abundance of the “crude material” that Master mentioned, so although my husband beat me, I continued cultivating.
My husband has his own business, and often went out of town for at least two weeks. So I made use of this time to intensively study the Fa. This was my happiest time.
But gradually my attachment of fear flared up, and I became afraid that he would come home and tear up my book. I felt that it wasn't safe for me to study the Fa at home. My husband didn’t allow me to do the exercises at home, so I often had to do them all at work during my lunch break.
As soon as my husband came home, I went out in the backyard to pull weeds. When he went out, I’d go straight to my room to study the Fa.
I held myself to Master's words:
“...a practitioner should refrain from fighting back and always hold himself to high standards.” (The Fourth Talk in Zhuan Falun)
No matter how many times I was beaten or sworn at, I often thought about elevating my xinxing and eliminating my karma. But under the pressure of the persecution, my husband and my in-laws asked me to choose between my family or Dafa. If I gave up practicing, I could stay, otherwise I’d have to go and live with my parents - I chose Dafa.
My father tried, and failed, to persuade me to give up cultivation. He also gave me an ultimatum, and made me choose between them and Dafa.
At home, my husband beat me again, and didn’t allow me to practice. I said, “Even if I have to leave home and wander around, I will still practice.”
My husband saw that the threats didn't affect me, and eventually succumbed, and said, “Go ahead with your practice.”
I could now practice at home openly and in an upright manner. I even set up a Fa-study group at my home. Though my husband was as stubborn as a rock, he melted under the Buddha Fa.
“Just by staying unaffected you will be able to handle all situations.” (Teaching the Fa at the Conference in the Midwest-U.S.)
Master Helped Cleanse My Body
A hard bulge, the size of a bean, appeared on my lower back in 2008. It grew, and was very painful. About half a year later, it was the size of a small egg.
I didn’t take it to heart, no matter how painful it was, and I never stopped doing the three things that practitioners should do. I had the thought, “Master is helping to cleanse my body.”
The bulge continued to grow, and whenever I picked it, it released a great amount of blood. I had to use a lot of paper towels to clean it up.
My husband knew that I chose not to take any medication when passing this test of sickness karma, and he respected me for it.
The same thing happened again on my lower back the next year. In a little more than six months, it became the size of a duck egg. When I pinched it, a lot of yellow fluid oozed out.
I later had a dream where a voice asked me how I passed the tests. I said that both times I picked at it. I was then told that I had to pass this test again, but not to touch it.
I thought, “If it's my karma then I’ll endure it, but I would never acknowledge the persecution towards my body from the old forces.”
In the third year, another bulge grew in the same spot. And after about half a year it was as large as a duck egg again.
This time my husband insisted on taking me to the hospital. I began sending righteous thoughts intensively, and as a result he forgot about it the next day.
“In such cases there are only two choices: You either go to the hospital and thus give up on trying to overcome the test, or you completely let go of everything, behave like an upstanding and noble Dafa disciple who has no resentment or attachments, and leave it to Master to arrange whether you stay or go. When you are able to do that, you are a god.” (Teaching the Fa in the City of Los Angeles)
I decided to leave it up to Master. With this thought, the bulge opened up by itself that night with pus oozing out. Also a dry, black, sticky substance appeared in my stool.
Another bulge grew again the next year. I left it alone, and let Master decide what should happen. It broke again by itself, and the pus went everywhere.
From then on, I was completely healed. I felt so grateful to Master for cleaning up my body.
Overcoming Attachment to Sentimentality
My husband joined one of my relatives in the construction business, and our financial situation improved. However, people around me told me to “Keep a close eye on your husband. Nowadays, whoever has money is vulnerable to having affairs.”
This made me suspicious. One evening, when my husband and I were in the living room, his mobile phone rang. He ignored it, and said that there was something wrong with his phone. I wasn’t moved, nor did I get upset.
However, my resentment flared up when my husband started coming home late, past midnight.
My son happened to see his father eating out with a young woman one time. He called his father right away and told him that he had seen him with a woman.
My husband came home as soon as he received the call, and my son asked him directly if this woman was his mistress. My husband had nothing to say, but to admit it.
I called the woman, and she told me that they had been having an affair for three years. She wanted to cut off the relationship, as she realized it was wrong. My husband also admitted that he had done the wrong thing.
Whenever he came home at night, I’d simply greet him. I told him that as long as he came home, that was good enough.
I kept looking inward and found many attachments, such as suspicion, resentment, looking down on him, jealousy, competitive mentality, and the attachment to self-interest.
My husband is there to help me elevate and cultivate to consummation. I should thank him, because he is also suffering.
Master asks us to cultivate into selfless beings, and always think of others. All I wanted was to develop a heart of kindness and compassion, and treat people with kindness.
Whenever my thoughts were off track, I’d begin to look inward and eliminate them.
One time, my husband came home drunk, and he told my son to get my I.D. for his loan application. My son responded by saying, “If you have enough money, you can spend it. Otherwise don’t.”
I agreed with our son, which made my husband angry.
He stood over me, then began to sneeze on me. I said to him with a smile, “You've had a long day. You're tired. Please take a rest.”
He lay down on bed. I helped him to take off his clothes. He smiled, then grabbed his blanket and went to the living room to sleep.
I looked in the mirror to wipe my face, and said to myself, “Cultivation is truly great! To have Master is truly great!”
My husband's attitude changed from then on. He stopped putting his cell phone on mute, came home to have meals more often, and hardly swore at me.
Doing What I'm Supposed to Do
I have gained so much from Dafa. Since I started practicing, whether I was doing my work, grocery shopping, or dealing with something, I talked to whomever I ran into. I took the initiative to greet people and tell them about the wonders of Falun Dafa.
When truth-clarification materials arrived, and seeing other practitioners not having the time to hand them out, I went to the countryside on my own to distribute them. I didn't miss a single household.
I went into a village for the first time after I saw from a distance that one household had their lights on.
Their dog was barking, and in my heart, I said to the dog, “I have come over to save your keeper, and I was also hoping you’d be saved as well. Please recite “Falun Dafa is good! Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good!”
The dog stopped barking, and I walked towards the entrance of the house.
Then another dog approached me shaking its head and wagging its tail, greeting me excitedly. I truly came to feel Master’s protection, and the extraordinariness of Dafa, and helped many people to quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP).
Before I began to practice, I was an extrovert. This characteristic has helped me get into conversations with whomever I run into very quickly.
I tell them what Falun Dafa is, why the CCP is persecuting us, and the staged “self-immolation” incident. I also tell them that Dafa has spread to more than 100 countries and regions around the world.
My family is in the construction business, so when I visit the construction sites, I talk first to those in charge and then go to tell the workers about Falun Dafa.
Most of those who have listened to me choose to quit the Party. Those that didn't want to quit, I still gave them more opportunities. By the time I had spoken with everyone on the site, the construction work finished as well. Then Master would assign a new site for me to look after.
I said to Master deep down, “Thank you, Master. I have done what I'm supposed to do.”
When we later moved to a larger city, I regularly went out to the streets to talk to people about Dafa.
I made use of the mornings to study the Fa, then I went out in the afternoon to talk to people. Now I put more emphasis on how effectively I clarify the facts.
Whenever I talk to someone, I try to make them fully understand the truth, so that they can make the right choice and quit the CCP from deep down inside, and be saved.