The First Year and a Half of My Cultivation Journey
(Minghui.org) I have attained the Fa in mid-June 2017, and have walked for one-and-a-half years on my cultivation path. Although this is considered a very short time, I still have experienced much during that time.
I returned to my homeland to see my parents at the end of 2017, where I was fortunate enough to participate in a media project of Dafa practitioners.
To study the Fa with my team, I went early in the morning to the office. When I participated in reading the Fa for the first time I was shocked to feel a strong energy current.
I desired to return to Germany, as well as partake in practitioners' media project. Thus, I applied for jobs and received an interview invitation from a real estate company, a field I always was interested in. However, I desired to work on media projects at that time. Nevertheless, I accepted the interview invitation by the real estate firm.
Surprisingly, the first interview went quite well, so I was asked to have an interview with both directors. Just as during the first interview, I wasn't really interested. Thus, I did not prepare for that interview, and to my surprise it again went better than I expected.
The directors asked me to immediately return to Germany, and accept their job offer. I was confused in my heart because I had the attachment to fame and wealth. On the one hand, this was a dream job with good future prospects – something I always hoped for. On the other hand, I had the opportunity to work on media projects with practitioners. I understood clearly that I had reached a crossroads, and I had to make a decision.
I discussed the matter with a practitioner in Vietnam. He told me of another practitioner who wanted to take a job with our media. Then, out of the blue, he was offered a job that promised a very high and permanent salary. He said that he knew some of the Vietnamese people who work on the media projects. They quit their regular jobs to return to Vietnam, so they could get involved in a job that was involved in the salvation of sentient beings.
On my return to Germany I contacted the media office on the first day after my arrival and set up a meeting. I decided that I would, before making a decision, visit the media office and then the real estate firm. After spending one day in the media office, I decided to send an e-mail to the real estate firm and apologize for not accepting their offer for personal reasons. Since that day I have been working full time with practitioners on the media project.
Attachment to Ego
After starting to work, I realized that there was so much to learn. As soon as I had completed a video, a fellow practitioner looked at it, and gave his opinion, so I could improve. There were times I did not agree with his opinion, and I often just said, “But, it is like this...” For using the word “but” overly much, the practitioner said, “There are no “ ifs or buts.” This constant contradiction has to do with the “party culture.”
I was terribly unhappy and thought that everyone has his or her opinion. Why do I have to do what he told me? After I calmed down and looked within, I realized that I had been strongly influenced by the party culture. I had to let go. As soon as I realized that, that practitioner no longer bothered me, and I improved in the video production task.
“You have to search inside yourself when you encounter problems. As I said earlier, it’s not because others treat you improperly, but rather that there’s something wrong on your part. For example, if the grand cosmic body is in harmony but there is discordance on your part, and a knotty situation occurs only where you are, you are the one who isn’t in accord with others. When you spot the cause within yourself and correct that problem, the situation will become harmonious and calm, and everyone will treat you nicely once again.” ( Lecture at the First Conference in North America)
Letting Go of the Attachments Complaint and Comfort
I overheard a practitioner complaining about having too much to do. He claimed that he was assigned more than I was and had to get up at five a.m.. I replied that everyone got up at that time. Then, I remained quiet, but I thought that I often work until midnight and have not complained. Why did he have to complain so much?
Since that day I just could not stay awake after sending righteous thoughts and wanted to go back to sleep. I was very frustrated and could not find the reason for that. However, after looking within I understood why this thought kept disturbing me after I had listened to this practitioner's complaint. In reality, this practitioner was just like a mirror image who reflected my xinxing. When it comes to the work issue, I do not complain, but I do so at home, as I still have to do a lot of work at home.
“A wicked person is born of jealousy.Out of selfishness and anger he complains about unfairness towards himself.A benevolent person always has a heart of compassion.With no discontentment or hatred, he takes hardship as joy.An enlightened person has no attachments at all.He quietly observes the people of the world deluded by illusions.”(“Realms,” Essentials for Further Advancement)
After reading Master's Fa, I realized that to complain is wrong. I also noted my attachment to comfort. I went to sleep after sending righteous thoughts at the worldwide time slot, and took a short nap. However, given that laziness, I felt bad during the entire day, as well as embarrassed.
“And you are a Dafa disciple, yet you won't save your sentient beings; but countless beings are waiting for you to save them. You won't be able to save them and sometimes you are as careless as an ordinary person. You think that everything is so simple, and you feel that every move, every thought of yours is all very natural and simple. 'It's not a big deal, is it? What’s a big deal?' What do you mean by 'not a big deal'?! Your responsibility is enormous! How could it not be a big deal?! If you are just being a good person among ordinary people and do not cultivate, you are still committing an extremely huge crime! That's because you are not saving the sentient beings that you are supposed to save!! You are not fulfilling the contract you signed in prehistory!!” (“Fa Teaching at the 2016 New York Fa Conference,” Team Blue Translation)
I clearly understood that the attachment to comfort would increase in intensity, especially when there was a lot to do, and I ran out of time to do the exercises. After I looked within, I realized that I lacked determination and I did not truly believe in Dafa. Once I recognized this attachment, I no longer took a nap after sending righteous thoughts, but practice the exercises.
When we were tasked to distribute Shen Yun fliers outside the theater on the evening of the performance, we arrived long after the performance was over. I was immediately annoyed with the coordinator for not ascertaining the time of the end of the show before announcing the flier distribution task. I wanted to ask that practitioner why he blundered.
Another practitioner who had come with me reminded me that we should not ask why mistakes were made. Instead he asked me to check on this particular practitioner and find out if he is experiencing difficulties.
This opened my eyes about my attachment, “looking for other people's mistakes.” Besides, I felt no compassion for my fellow practitioner. I realized this was a serious shortcoming of mine. At the same time, I found the attachment to relying on others, as I could have checked myself for the performance closing time.
“As a cultivatorOne always looks for one's own faultsThis the Way to get rid of attachments most effectivelyThere's no way to skip ordeals, big or small[During a conflict, if you can remember:)'He's right,And I'm wrong.'What's to dispute?” (“Who's Right, Who's Wrong,” Hong Yin III)
Attachments to Fame and Wealth
At the end of the year we are very busy, as we have to prepare for the upcoming Shen Yun performances. Then, I received a message from a former colleague out of the blue. He asked me to help out with the project he was involved in. He promised to pay me and to add my name to the international article that reported about the results of this project. I hesitated and promised to think about it.
Then, I realized that I still held onto the attachment to fame and wealth. That came out when he promised to pay me and add my name to the international report results.
“It has been said: 'When I come to this ordinary human society, it’s just like checking into a hotel for a few days. Then I leave in a hurry.' Some people are just obsessed with this place and have forgotten their own homes.” (Lecture Nine, Zhuan Falun, Version 2000)
“There is nothing else for you to accomplish. There is nothing else in this world that you need to accomplish. Those are the things that you need to work toward, and yet some people no longer pay much attention to even their own cultivation, and have instead made a priority of ordinary things. Haven’t you strayed from the path of Dafa disciples’ cultivation, then?” “Fa Teaching Given at the 2015 New York Fa Conference”)
I was ashamed. The Shen Yun performances were approaching fast, and we faced a lot of work, and I still have this attachment. I understood that this was not a coincidence. The Shen Yun preparation time would bring a lot of tests for us, a test to see how we will tackle the problems. I apologized and told my former colleague that I just could not find the time to help him.
I remembered Master's Fa,
“Whether it is a Buddha, a Tao, an immortal, or a demon, they should not move your heart. In conducting oneself this way, success is bound to be in sight. (Lecture Six, Zhuan Falun, Version 2000)
Before closing my sharing I wish to share another of Master's quotes about disturbances:
“The Fa can break all attachments, the Fa can destroy all evil, the Fa can shatter all lies, and the Fa can strengthen righteous thoughts.” (“Drive Out Interferences,” Essentials for Further Advancement II)
I am determined to follow the Dafa cultivation path, because I want to save sentient being and find peace. I am not afraid to look within, so I can let go of all attachments and be diligent in my cultivation. I want to save as many sentient beings as possible.
(Presented at the 2019 German Fa Conference)