Eliminating the Attachment That Has Always Gotten Away
(Minghui.org) I have been looking within and eliminating my attachments during the many years of my cultivation, but there was still one attachment that always kept slipping away from me.
This attachment had dominated my thoughts and was so well hidden that it had become a natural part of me. It was the attachment of arrogance and a sense of superiority.
The attachment manifested itself in the following ways:
1. Thinking highly of myself and seeing others as vulgar and stupid.
2. Being disagreeable and picking on others without seeing their strengths.
3. Thinking anyone must be severely punished if they upset me, because they are trivial and I am absolutely correct.
4. At home, what I say goes, because my husband is incompetent and can’t do anything right. I am much better in every way.
5. At work, I believed that my supervisor was incapable of leading me and that he must have bribed his way into his position. When my coworkers did well, I wrote it off as luck instead of their ability.
6. When I was in a management role, I felt that I was great at supervising others. If I didn’t lead well, it was because my team members weren’t good enough. They just wanted to get paid for being lazy.
7. Driven by the thought of me being all high and mighty, when I clarified the truth, I thought that I was eloquent and knew everything. If the person I talked to refused to agree with me, it was because he was too deceived by the propaganda and beyond salvation.
8. I believed that I was a good practitioner because I was able to look within and had found many attachments. When I looked at other practitioners, they didn’t seem to have good enlightenment quality and were incapable of finding their attachments. When I failed to progress diligently, I told myself that everyone slacks off sometimes.
9. I couldn’t bear to be taken advantage of since I was much more capable than those losers. When I took advantage of others, I was filled with glee and wanted to show off that I was better than others and had a lot of virtue.
10. When people refused to listen to the facts of the persecution, I thought they were ungrateful for not responding to my kind deed to save them. I thought they should be utterly thankful instead of being so confused and not seeing the goodness in me. I was a wise person who could understand Falun Dafa and they would never be the same as me.
I thought that I was there for others to look up to and be grateful to, that I was there so that others could just listen to me without questioning my authority. I should have been happy when others exposed my attachments. Instead, I held grudges against those who “mistreated” me and made me feel bad.
I didn’t treat sentient beings and my fellow practitioners with the right attitude. I was always self-centered and felt superior; I wanted to have control over others to satisfy my sense of superiority. This arrogance made me angry when I faced people who were “rude and bossy,” because they challenged my authority. When facing these challenges, I couldn’t see that I was being arrogant – I was too busy blaming my attachments to vanity, emotions, fighting, and personal gain.
It never occurred to me that it made no sense to be furious over a little vanity and personal gain. Nor did I bother to make sense of the fact that I made a big scene when someone was rude to me, even when there was nothing at stake. When the youngsters talked back to me in the house, vanity and personal gain weren’t even an issue, but I still got really mad. The only explanation was that my arrogance was untouchable.
Some people like to struggle, and it’s probably not all about vanity and personal gain. When heavyweight political figures in the Chinese Communist Party struggle, sometimes they bet their lives on it. They aren’t stupid enough to give up their lives simply for gain and vanity; in fact, they want power and status, the desire that originates from their strong arrogance. They firmly believe that they are the most magnificent, glorious and correct people. They have no doubt that they are high above everyone else and that they must prove this belief with their lives.
The old forces and evil communist specter took arrogance to the extreme, believing that they were helping with the Fa-rectification. We must eliminate the attachment to arrogance now that we have noticed it. If we don’t, demonic interference might stem from our own minds.