A Lesson Learned from Not Cultivating My Speech
(Minghui.org) Although it has been five or six years since this incident happened, it is still fresh in my memory.
At that time, I was involved in a temporary Falun Dafa project with two fellow practitioners, Ms. Zhang and Ms. Chen [both aliases]. On one occasion Ms. Zhang began talking about another fellow practitioner, saying, “Mr. Wang [alias] didn’t know anything when he came to work with our project team. I taught him a lot of different skills and how to operate some of the machines. As a result, he took over the project to the point where I could no longer even use the machines without his permission!” From the sound of her voice we could tell that Ms. Zhang was complaining indignantly.
Ms. Chen also complained about how bad Mr. Wang’s attitude was towards people. In fact, I also had a complaint about Mr. Wang, thinking that he didn’t behave like a practitioner, that he was selfish and self-righteous. Without giving it another thought, I said, “It is because he is so capable now that he doesn’t need your assistance!” Having said this, I felt pretty good—like I had correctly judged Mr. Wang.
After criticizing and commenting on Mr. Wang, we three carried on with our work. At this time, I bent down and picked something up. When I got up, I suddenly felt a sting in the left side of my chest, and then I couldn’t breathe normally. When I inhaled, my chest hurt so much that I could only breathe very shallowly.
Without telling the other two practitioners what had happened, I quickly went to another room and sat down to send forth righteous thoughts. I first denied the persecution of the old forces. I could not breathe deeply when sending righteous thoughts. After inhaling a little bit, I felt as if I were out of breath. The situation was quite critical. I continued sending forth righteous thoughts for five or six minutes. Realizing I was not improving, I suddenly remembered that I should look inward (it was a hint from Master). I then realized that all three of us had criticized another person behind his back. Instead of stopping them from talking about someone, I simply created karma by joining in!
As soon as I realized my mistake, I was immediately able to breathe normally again. Having confirmed that everything was back to normal, I quickly got up and went back to continue my work. This incident lasted just ten minutes and the other two practitioners didn’t find anything abnormal and neither did I tell them.
This incident just passed like that. Afterward, I was a little scared when thinking about the situation at that time. If Master hadn’t given me a hint that I should look internally, I could have lost my life!
“Karma is produced by a person’s doing wrong in this life or in past lives. For instance, killing, taking advantage of others, infringing upon others' interests, gossiping about someone behind his or her back, being unfriendly to someone, and so on can all create karma.” (Chapter III Cultivation of Xinxing from Falun Gong)
Before taking up cultivation, when chatting with my colleagues or friends, I enjoyed listening to gossip, such as others revealing someone’s shortcomings. It amused me to talk about other people. It pleased me to hear somebody being cursed for his or her wrongdoings. Everyone laughed to hear all the latest gossip.
After I started to cultivate Falun Dafa, I now know that doing things like gossiping is caused by my jealousy. Without cultivating my speech, I will create karma and give my virtue to others. However, the bad substances formed by this habit of mine have not yet been removed and remain active. Many times, I am not aware that what I say and do is dictated by these human notions. The most important thing I've realized is that I am not strict with myself as a practitioner.
“Only when everything on the surface has finally transformed will you be completely separated from human beings. But while cultivating you should have clear awareness, cultivate away your deficiencies, restrain your shortcomings, and eliminate your shortcomings. You must have a sense of constantly climbing up. That's cultivating.” (“Teaching the Fa at the 2003 Atlanta Fa Conference” from Teaching the Fa at the Conference IV)
Moreover, the old forces are also trying to exploit our loopholes, destroying Dafa practitioners and sentient beings waiting to be saved.
Master pointed out:
“Don’t think that it’s necessarily something major [that causes that]. You might think that you haven’t done anything majorly wrong, and that you are very firm in your faith in the Fa. However, you shouldn’t treat the little issues you have like they are nothing. The evil will seize upon any gaps. Many practitioners have even passed away on account of little things; it really was due to something very minor. That’s because cultivation is something serious, and requires having no gaps. If for a long time you haven’t dealt with those things through cultivation, small as they may be, if you haven’t taken them seriously for a prolonged period of time, then it is a big issue. Many people have passed away on account of such things.” ( “Fa Teaching at the 2015 West Coast Fa Conference”)
In the past few years, there have indeed been fellow practitioners who have passed away, which causes losses to Dafa. I hope that each of us will walk well on the road Master has extended for us, improving ourselves and working diligently together.