Improving Myself and Being More Diligent
For a long time, I would doze off when listening to the Fa after dinner. To stop myself from falling asleep, I decided to cross my legs in the single-lotus position, conjoin my hands in jieyin and straighten my back when listening to Master's lectures. I then experienced a miracle—I heard Master's every word clearly as though I was hearing them for the very first time.
I then realized that we can no longer use any excuse to be disrespectful towards Dafa and Master since the Fa-rectification has been going on for a long time and practitioners know who Master is. If we are not truly respectful towards the Fa, it is difficult to obtain anything. Furthermore, our righteous thoughts come from the Fa and the effects of truth-clarification rely on studying the Fa well.
Being Diligent Again
I work every day as a porter for a home appliance company. Although I work more than 10 hours a day, I would still often work overtime no matter how tired I was. Before going home after work, I would make several phone calls to clarify the truth. At home, I would eat dinner, study the Fa, do the exercises and send forth righteous thoughts. Recently, however, I have not been diligent in sending righteous thoughts.
When it got busier, a thought suddenly crossed my mind, “Why am I demanding myself to be so strict in cultivation? I could relax a little, watch some movie or TV, learn less Fa, and do fewer exercises.” I then became lax in cultivation until it got to a dangerous state where I almost lost everything. Master did not give up on me and repeatedly gave me hints in my dreams.
When my father became seriously ill in August 2017, I had to take a leave of absence from work to take care of him at the hospital. I then used the opportunity to intensively study the Fa every day, recite Lunyu, look inward and improve my xinxing. Without any pursuit, I became diligent in doing the three things again.
“No matter how well or how long you do the exercises, if you don’t conduct yourself according to the xinxing standard that we require, if you are not strict with yourself, don’t uphold virtue and don’t study the Fa, you will have nothing and nothing will form.” (“Teaching the Fa and Answering Questions in Guangzhou” from The Law of Zhuan Falun Explained).
I have been pondering on this Fa-teaching for a long time. I now realize that the thought of being lax in cultivation that had appeared in my mind before was an evil thought from the old forces trying to destroy me! Master did not let that happen and saved me again. Master can help us only if we can distinguish between our own thoughts and those from the old forces. Dafa is the only standard to measure righteous from unrighteous thoughts.
I discovered that the main obstacle holding me back from talking to people face-to-face was the attachment to fear. I was afraid to tell people about the evilness of the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) or the facts about Dafa because I was afraid of being rejected, laughed at, reported on, or persecuted. I was also afraid of the evil and the CCP.
I even went so far as to lie about my personal registration information in the past because of this fear. I hereby deeply apologize for doing that and will correct it immediately.
I am a practitioner following Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance and will help Master in Fa-rectification no matter how afraid I am. I will not have any regret even if I save only one person in face-to-face truth clarification.
At this time, I realized that all Dafa practitioners have to form one body and to increase our efforts to save sentient beings. The more practitioners coming out to tell people about Dafa and the persecution, the better the effect.