Endless Challenges of My Broken Family Rectified by Falun Dafa
(Minghui.org) I have been an introvert since I was young. I am also the youngest in my family and had developed some bad habits such as being lazy and relying on others.
Before I got married, I dreamed of having a husband who would take good care of me, but fate was not kind. My husband had a terrible temper and was cold and introverted. Besides not seeming to care, he refused to do any housework. We fought about this every day. He even beat me at times, and a few times we talked about divorce.
Cultivating Through Family Tribulations
I was not only disappointed but also filled with hatred. In turn, I filled my son with the same hatred. Every time my husband and I fought, I wouldn't let my son call him "Dad" and made him say “Big Bandit.” My son was young and did what I told him to. Over time, my son became filled with hatred for his own father. Such hatred destroyed the harmony in our family.
I was fortunate to have begun cultivating Falun Dafa in 1996. Dafa’s qualities of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance helped me understand how to act like a good person and how to be considerate of others. After learning Dafa, I took care of almost all the housework. If sometimes my heart wasn’t balanced, I recited Master’s Fa:
“He who regards not ordinary sorrows and joysA cultivator is he
He who has not attachment to worldly loss and gainAn Arhat is he(“Breaking Free of the Three Realms” from Hong Yin)
Over and over I cleared my hatred and heart of resentment, and my realm constantly improved. Now, no matter how heavy the housework is, I no longer feel hated or mistreated.
My mother-in-law came to our home in 2014 to recover from colon cancer surgery. She often had no bowel control and soiled herself. My father-in-law, who came with her, had a cystectomy and a urine bag. He often wet his pants. In the morning, I got up early to do the exercises. I then cleaned my in-law’s clothes, made breakfast, and gave my mother-in-law an injection for her diabetes. After I finished all these chores, it was time for work, and I sometimes had no time to eat breakfast myself.
My in-laws and my husband felt sorry for me working so hard after noticing my devotion to selflessness. He was no longer angry and cold. I knew that all the obstacles in my family during my cultivation existed to help me eliminate my deeply-rooted bad notions.
Before my son graduated, I had issues with my husband. I didn’t predict, however, that after my son graduated, he would become an even bigger problem.
My Son, a New Challenge
My son was smart, but he was also naughty and stubborn when he was young. My husband and I always hoped that he would be successful one day and at the top of his class. Every time he didn't do so well in school, we criticized him. My husband even beat him.
My son finally got into a prestigious university. But the effects of the abuse he endured growing up contributed to him becoming isolated, violent, and eccentric. While attending the university, he was in danger of failing several courses in his major, but he finally graduated.
He came home after graduating to prepare for a test to get a job. I found that he had changed so much. He always closed his door and played games on his computer or cell phone until after midnight. Whenever I mentioned studying, he quarreled with me. The scariest thing was that he often shouted terribly and woke me up at night. At that time my heart was broken. I was so disappointed that I ached.
He wanted to take his grandparents for a ride right after he got his driver’s license. I worried about his driving ability and told his grandparents in private that he was still a beginner, so they shouldn't let him take them anywhere right away. We didn’t predict that his grandparents would tell him this. My son got very upset, yelled at us, slammed the door, and left.
I followed him out and saw he was going to drive. I then became even more scared. I cried, begging him not to drive. He didn’t listen and drove away. I came back in the house, scared and angry. His grandparents were also upset that my son got angry with them and insisted on returning home. I persuaded them to stay, but I sobbed after I went to my room.
Other practitioners shared with me and supported me. I studied the Fa more and looked inward to eliminate the sentimentality for my son. I thoroughly examined my cultivation. My son had known that Dafa was good since he was young and could recite Lunyu. Though he didn’t really cultivate, he always went with me to distribute truth-clarification materials. He also understood from reading Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party that communism was evil, so he never joined the Communist Youth League in middle school. When he was in high school, I often asked him to recite some of Master’s new articles. He even persuaded a few of his classmates to quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP).
Master told us that our cultivation environment is related to our cultivation. So my son’s state must have been a reflection of my own. I checked myself carefully and found that my heart for fame was strong. I also found that I always wanted to be better than others. I passed this mentality on to my son. I'd never allowed him to question me, regardless if he was right or wrong. He was now challenging me and I couldn't tolerate it. I realized that I was not firmly cultivating Forbearance. Realizing this shortcoming, I decided to change myself.
I no longer focused only on my son’s studies. After I came home, I went to the kitchen to make some food that he liked. I tapped on his door and asked him to have dinner with us. He often wouldn't open the door even after I knocked a few times, and sometimes wouldn't come out until after we finished dinner. I sometimes thought about how hard I worked at my job and resented that he did not do any housework and still required such care. At those times I recited Master’s Fa:
“When it’s difficult to endure, you can endure it. When it’s impossible to do, you can do it.” (Zhuan Falun)
My resentment and unbalanced heart soon disappeared as I began cultivating more sincerely.
When I changed, my son’s attitude improved. Two years after he graduated, he was hired by a state-run department after getting an excellent score on the entrance test. I still remember that, on the day he took the test, he washed his hands first and then burned incense for Master. After he landed the job, he became happier and more cheerful.
After my son found a job, my husband began to smile more. Due to my unselfish devotion and forbearance, my family is now a happy one. I believe this was all given by Master.